I Wanna Mash-Up With You
by AprilBaby95
Summary: "People think that she and Britt just fall together when they're drunk at parties, maybe in between boyfriends. And Santana lets them believe it because she isn't ready for them to know its not the falling together that does her in, it's the fact she feels like without her, she would fall apart." Brittana & Quick. Lots of Unholy Trinity & Pucktana friendship too. Canon couples.
1. For the First Time (Para la primera vez)

**Chapter One: For the First Time (Para la primera vez)**

* * *

"Ay dios mío, cariña," Santana's mom exclaimed seeing her daughter's face.

Santana grins, sticky syrup smeared across her face. Maribel sighs and wipes her daughter's mouth with a wet rag.

"Mami," Santana whines pushing away her hands.

Maribel lifts her off the chair and sets her down.

"¿Su mochila?" she requests "Y sus zapatos".

Santana grabs a turquoise backpack and brand new patent leather shoes, "Si, mama," she agrees.

Her mom helps Santana into her backpack and makes sure her shoes are on the right feet.

"Vamos," she says ticking Santana.

She laughs in agreement and squirms away, heading toward the car.

* * *

On the drive, Santana sits in a booster seat, singing along to the cassette tape and smoothing down her dress, "Los pollitos dicen pio, pio, pio. Cuando tienen hambre. Cuando tienen frio".

Maribel winks at her in the mirror and joins in "La gallina busca el maíz y el trigo. Les da la comida y les presta abrigo".

They make it through 2 more songs before her mom parks the car.

When the door opens, Santana hops down eagerly.

Maribel straightens Santana's red and black plaid dress and adjusts the black flower in her half-up hair, "¿Listo?"

Santana nods, starting to lose her earlier bravery, "Si" grabbing her mom's hand.

They walk into the school and down the hallway to her classroom. A woman is standing outside the door smiling brightly but Santana can hear screaming and crying inside.

"Hi, I'm Mrs. Parks and I'll be your teacher this year," the woman proclaims kneeling to look Santana in the eyes.

She immediately backs away and moves to stand behind her mother. "Mami," she whispers.

"Esta bien, niña," she coos back, trying to coax the girl in front of her.

"She doesn't speak much English," Maribel tells the teacher, "The principal said that was okay".

Mrs. Parks nods, "I remember speaking to him. How much does she understand?"

"Like none?" her mother answers hesitantly.

Santana's parents had only lived here a few years and were still bettering their own English. It was difficult for them and involved a lot of thinking about the words. So at home the couple spoke in Spanish and that was all Santana really had ever heard, since all her other relatives spoke Spanish too.

Mrs. Parks nods, "Hola Santana," she says using the only Spanish word she knows.

Santana peeks to look at her.

"Hola," she replies softly still unsure, "¿Como estas?"

Mrs. Parks looks confused.

Santana thinks this whole thing is stupid, she doesn't get why she was forced to wear a dress today and come here.

"Quiero ir a casa," she whimpers winding her arms around Maribel's leg.

The teacher looks at the noisy classroom and gently peels her off of her mom.

"Mami!" Santana screams reaching for her.

Maribel looks conflicted, "Es su maestra Tana".

"It'll be okay," the teacher reassures her, "She isn't the only crier I've had today. Someday soon you'll drop her off and she won't realize you've left".

Mrs. Parks is talking quickly and Santana is sobbing now.

"Mami, por favor, mami. Quiero quedar contigo. No me gusta esto. Mami," she is screaming.

Maribel almost wants to grab Santana back and run. This isn't her little girl, Santana never cries, throws tantrums sure, but doesn't cry.

"Mami," she's begging reaching for her.

Mrs. Parks looks at the two of them and steps back into the classroom to calm the other kids down.

Maribel scoops Santana into a big hug, "Estas bien, carina. Shhh, mija". Santana's tear stained face is pressed into her shoulder.

Maribel draws back and sets her down, "Te quiero muchisimo. Hasta luego mi preciosa".

Santana is sniffling and wiping her eyes, "Te qu-qu-quiero mucho tambien," she manages to finally get out.

Maribel wants to take her home, feed her ice cream, and wait for Antonio to get home. She is justifying it to her husband in her head, one year, let's teach her some English first, let her grow some more, she's so tiny and short. Then she pushes Santana into the classroom and steps down the hall.

* * *

Santana takes a deep breath trying to stop herself from crying again. She looks around nervously. Most kids sitting in desks. There's a brunette girl with a sweater with a teddy bear on it, a plaid skirt, knee high socks, and a piercing voice. There's a boy wearing tight khaki pants and a light pink dress shirt with a white sweater on top. There's that woman again, su maestro, separating two boys. One has a dopey look on his face and is wearing jeans and a Superman t-shirt. The other, Santana cranes her neck, is Noah!

She actually knows one person in this whole class, kind of. Noah lives near her and they go to the same park. She really doesn't know much about him besides his name. They tried to teach each other a words but Santana only remembers a few. Primarily "Chase!" which is what they do. Run after each other screaming and laughing in a way that doesn't need words. Puck is led to one desk and the other boy to another.

"Stay put Noah and Finn," the teacher says before coming over towards her.

Santana bites her lip and looks over at the door. Mrs. Parks offers her hand. Santana reluctantly takes it and follows her to a group of four desks.

"You'll sit her with Noah and Brittany," the teacher says pointing to a name tag on the desk that says Santana.

"Hey Santana," Puck greets her.

"You know each other?" the teacher asks in surprise, "Do you speak Spanish, Noah?"

"Nah, we just know each other from the park," he answers.

Santana looks at him uncertainly and he flashes her a smile.

The teacher walks away to set up circle time.

"I'm Brittany," the blond says flashing a smile.

The little girl has her hair in pigtails and is wearing pink shirt with a unicorn on it and a white skirt.

Santana freezes.

"This is Santana," Puck fills in for her.

"Se llama Brittany," he stumbles through, messing up the pronunciation.

Santana's face floods with relief.

"Hola Brit," she says softly.

Brittany giggles, but in a nice way.

The teacher passes out worksheets and Santana carefully traces the "a"s and "A"s on the paper silently. Her heart in pounding still and she's focusing on this instead of her fear. Then afterward they get to draw things that start with A. Brittany uncaps her marker and starts scribbling. Santana peeks at Puck's paper, he's drawing a airplane in camo. She decides to make an airplane too. Avión starts with A, hers is purple though. Then she adds a glass of water, a tall person, a scribble of blue, a lunch box, a smiley face, a heart, a coat. Agua, alto, azul, almuerzo, alegre, amor, abrigo. She starts to add una ambulancia when the teacher tells the class to share their pictures with their group.

Puck goes first, he's talking about airplanes, fighter jets, the military…Santana quickly grows confused and bored, "Un avión," she says pointing to his drawing.

Puck looks at her, "Avión," he sounds out, "It's an airplane Santana". This is what they do, trade words that neither will remember tomorrow.

Brittany goes next. She has a unicorn biting a giant apple.

"An apple," she declares proudly.

"¿Un unicornio es un apple?" Santana asks confused, pointing to the unicorn.

Brittany shakes her head, her blond hair flying.

"Apple," she says pointing to the manzana.

"Y esto?" Santana asks pointing to the unicornio again.

"Unicorn," Brit giggles, "Like my shirt see? I guess it doesn't really start with an A but they're my favorite".

"Es un animal," Santana replies quickly.

"Animal, animal, animal, animal," Brittany sings switching back and forth between the pronunciations.

Santana pulls up her own drawing and starts pointing out things, saying their names in Spanish.

Puck and Brittany are answering in English when one little girl starts waving her raised hand violently. Santana pauses and watches her with interest, the other two following her gaze.

"Mrs. Parks, Mrs. Parks," the girl exclaims, "Some of the things on her sheet don't start with A".

With that she points to Santana. Santana sinks back nervously behind Puck as everyone's eyes are on her.

"They do in Spanish," Puck defends her, sitting up straighter.

Santana's lip is trembling and Brittany is looking at her worriedly.

"That's enough Rachel, eyes on your own work everyone," the teacher interjects.

Santana can't tell if she's in trouble and she doesn't know why she would be.

"But Mrs. Parks," the girl continues.

"Circle time," the teacher declares loudly.

Puck gets up and runs to sit by Finn.

"No running Noah, and if you two sit together, you need to keep your hands to yourselves," Mrs. Parks says.

Santana is still sitting in her desk, arms wrapped around herself trying not to cry.

Brittany gets up and stands beside her, setting one small hand on her shoulder, "Het is oke, Santana," she says soothingly.

Santana looks up at her wide-eyed at the change in accent. Brittany giggles again and Santana can't help but smile back.

"Sorry, that was Dutch," Brittany says, "It's what we speak at home, well my mom and I. Not my dad. I meant to say it's okay. But I guess you wouldn't know that either".

Santana just looks up at her.

"Girls," Mrs. Parks calls, "we're starting circle time, come sit down".

Brittany grabs Santana's hand and tugs her up and over to the carpet. As they walk Santana's hand slips out of hers, but Brittany manages to snag her pinkie.

When they sit down side by side, pinkies still linked Brittany whispers in her ear, "It's gonna be okay San. I promise. We'll be best friends, forever. And I'll help you. Kay?"

Santana can't understand a word, but Brittany's breath come hot on her face, smelling like cotton candy. So she nods along anyway.

Kurt is putting a sun on the board to show the weather outside. Rachel's babbling about how a sun is a giant star and one day she'll be just like it. Brit keeps their pinkies linked and leans her head on Santana's shoulder. Puck and Finn are bumping shoulders, minutes away from all out wrestling.

* * *

All day long Brittany leads her around, pinkies linked. She talks and talks about everything in English. But it's not uppity like Rachel. Puck makes sure everyone knows not to mess with her and then spends the rest of his time running around, pushing, stealing cookies.

When it's time to go, Brit shows her a hot pink Lisa Frank backpack with a unicorn on it and a rainbow mane. Santana reveals a turquoise Lisa Frank one with a leopard cub on it.

"Mami," Santana yells when her mom comes to the door.

This time she does the leading, tugging Brittany along with her.

"Mami, esta es mi amiga. Se llama Brittany. Ella le gustan unicornios y rosado. Estaba con ella todo el día. Noah esta en este clase también," Santana rambles.

Brittany thinks it's the most she's heard San talk all day. She waves at the woman who looks so much like the little girl she spent all day with.

"Hola," Brittany says nervously, it's the only Spanish she's picked up today.

"Hi Brittany," the woman responds, "I'm Santana's mom, Mrs. Lopez. How was yours and Tana's first day?"

Brittany looks astonished, "How come you speak English?"

"Britt," her mom calls.

Brittany goes up on tippy toes trying to spot her mom. The blond woman makes her way over and introduces herself.

"I'm Whitney," she says giving Brittany a hug.

"Maribel," Santana's mom answers.

"This is my mom," Brittany says to San.

"Ella es su mama," Maribel translates.

They walk out to the parking lot together. The moms are chatting animatedly before they separate.

"Bye Santana!" Brittany yells across the parking lot.

"Adios Brittany," Santana yells back.

Brittany climbs into the car and lowers the window, waving wildly she yells "See you tomorrow San".

"Hasta mañana Britt Britt," Santana yells back with a grin.

* * *

"Hey San," Brittany says in a soft voice.

Her chin dropping onto Santana's shoulder, her arms encircling the girl's waist.

Santana looks up at her, "Hey Britt Britt," she answers.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Brittany asks, running one hand though Santana's dark hair.

Santana gives her a smile, one that's sweet and soft all at the same time and a little sad, "Us".

"Don't be a sad panda, be happy," Brittany coos nestling her face into Santana's neck and kissing it lightly, repeatedly.

Santana sighs and gently untangles them, "Go back to bed B, okay?"

Brittany wants to do what Santana wants her to, but her voice says go and her eyes say stay.

"I'll be there soon," Santana assures stepping closer to the window.

Brittany wants to grab her and hug her tight but something tells her San wouldn't respond to that right now. So she settles for catching her pinky, linking the for a minute, squeezing, releasing, and slipping back into bed.

Santana skims the windowsill with her fingers, remembering.

* * *

A/N: So this is chapter one. Please let me know what you thought. Especially about the Spanish (ie could you understand what was going on, would translations be helpful after every line or all at the end). Some confusion is okay because it lets you know how Santana is feeling...There will be some but not as much Spanish in the following chapters since Santana will know more English. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


	2. The Alphabet y Mi Abuela

**Chapter Two: The Alphabet y Mi Abuela**

* * *

It was a full school year later when Santana would consider them best friends. Brit had tugged her around by her pinky leading her from place to place as the incomprehensible voices had washed over her for the first few weeks. All year Brittany had been her partner for all group work. Brittany's patience, Rachel's never ending rambling, Puck's willingness to name anything she pointed to, and the rest of the class had led to vast improvements in her English. And slowly Santana had soaked it up, to the point that she could now converse entirely in it though with a distinct accent. On the other hand, no one had really learned much Spanish. Even Brittany had only learned a few phrases, Puck a few bad words.

Today was the last day of class and tonight they were putting on a show for the parents. Each had been assigned a song or part of a song. After some struggling, the teacher had given Britt the alphabet, hoping she could manage the simplest song Mrs. Parks could think of. Santana had one of six parts in the five little duck song.

They were rehearsing today and Rachel was singing the Star Spangled Banner as the opening number.

"She's really good," Brittany whispers.

They are sitting beside each other in the auditorium.

Santana puts her feet up on the seat, "Whatever".

She pretends to be indifferent even as she is amazed at the number of words Rachel has memorized, and kind of jealous too.

"Don't be mad San," Brittany whispers again, her breath tickling Santana's neck, "You know you're the best".

Santana shakes her head and is about to respond, _you're the best_, when the teacher sends them a _be quiet_ look. Santana is silenced but Brittany's oblivious.

"5 little ducks went out one day. Over the hill and far away," she sings softly, "Come on San, you have the best part. You go first. Sing with me! Mother duck said..". Brittany is staring at her expectantly.

Puck's pulled some kid's hair and the noise provides a cover.

"Quack, quack, quack, quack," Santana giggles bending toward Brittany, "But only 4 little ducks came back".

Brittany frowns, "Where'd the other one go San? Why doesn't the mommy go looking for them? She just keeps losing her duckings".

"Ducklings," Santana corrects absentmindedly.

Brittany's pout brightens, "You are getting good at English".

Santana nods, "Don't you remember? She calls and they all come back at the end".

"Brittany you're up," Mrs. Parks calls.

Brittany springs up and they release pinkies. On the way to the stage Britt glances behind her and Santana gives her a thumbs up sign.

Brittany is standing up there all alone. The lights make her look like she's glowing, but Santana can see the fear in her eyes.

"A, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l," she pauses.

_Come on, Britt. You got this! _Santana hopes. They had sung the song everyday for the past two weeks. But this section always tripped her up. Brittany would reverse the m and n or squish it all into one word elenemoe, emmenn, nnemm.

"h, i, j, k, l.." Brittany tries again, her face turning even paler.

"M, n, o, p," the teacher prompts her, "From the beginning please Brittany".

Brittany swears she tries her best to remember but it just comes out all wrong.

"Mrs. Parks," Santana finally calls out unable to take the look on Brittany's face.

All eyes turn to her, her English may be improving but that doesn't mean she speaks up much in class.

"Yes, Santana?" the teacher replies. "Maybe we could switch parts," Santana offers, "I know the whole alphabet".

"So does _everyone_ who's made it through pre-school," Rachel says under her breath, _this was taking time away from perfecting her solo, maybe adding a dance routine_.

Santana glares at her and nearly pounces but Puck yanks her back.

"Cállate. Si alguna vez dice algo acerca de ella, otra vez, que implica que ella es estúpida. Voy a hacerte daño," Santana threatens furiously.

"Santana," the teacher warns.

Rachel looks frightened and confused.

"I don't know if Brittany could memorize your whole part by tonight," the teacher continues on, reluctant to admit she doubts Brittany could remember anything for this show.

"I already know it," Brittany chimes in.

While Brittany is singing about ducks, Santana stalks toward Rachel. She leans in close to the girl and hisses, "I said shut up. If you ever say anything about her again, ever, that implies she's stupid. I'm going to hurt you".

Rachel's heart is pounding when Puck pulls Santana away.

"God, watching you is like a full time job," he complains.

"Oh please, all you were doing is plotting how to steal people's snacks," Santana answers, rolling her eyes.

"Like you don't want more animal crackers, Lopez," he replies bumping shoulders with her.

Santana ignores him and watches Brittany finish the song perfectly. The performance goes well.

Brittany comes off stage and tells her "I like ducks now, that song is fun." "Quack, quack," Santana answers with a laugh. "But I still like kitties best," Britt assures her, "and unicorns too".

Santana nods and makes her way on stage.

* * *

A few days later and Santana is already tired of summer. Instead of seeing Brittany at school everyday and for play dates at her house on Saturdays, she never sees her. Britt lives in Lima Heights, a brand new fancy subdivision. Santana lives in Lima Heights Adjacent. Her parents are struggling to pay off med school debt for her dad. They can barely cover the loans and mortgage between her mom's work as a waitress at a diner and what her dad makes as an intern. Their neighborhood isn't the nicest, even though it's only a few minutes from Brittany's.

It doesn't really matter though. Santana usually goes and sits in the diner at the counter after school. She does her homework, reads, and usually gets a milkshake. But doing it everyday is really boring.

Today Maribel's shift is ending and it's already 11pm. Antonio dropped her off at 7pm when he had to start his shift at the hospital. Santana ate a late dinner here, grilled cheese and fries. That was hours ago. Maribel nudges her and says its time to go. The little girl can barely keep her eyes open and is happy when she's picked up. Her mom smells like burgers, and Santana falls asleep in her arms with ease.

She's in bed late and woken up early so they can get to mass on time. Santana tries not to fall asleep in the pew and remembers that after this they are going to her abuela's house. They eat dinner there every Sunday with her cousins. Brittany is always begging to come with and Santana tries to dissuade her. Her abuela's house is in a slightly better section of town but it's even smaller than Santana's. She hasn't even brought Britt back to her house yet, not after seeing the mansion Brittany lives in. Also, though they all speak English, her abuela insists on only speaking in Spanish so they don't "forget where they came from". But today because Brittany asked her mom instead of her, she's coming. At least they aren't going to her other grandparents, who had called her "cara de basura" ie garbage face and were so mean Britt would have spent the whole time crying.

* * *

Brittany runs out when she sees their car, Bridget trailing after her.

"Your coat," the ten year old says full of self-importance.

Santana would have snarked but Britt simply says, "Thanks big sis" and clamber into the car.

Brittany's blond hair is done in one long braid and she's wearing jean capris and a pink t-shirt with the Cheshire Cat on it.

"His eyes and teeth glow in the dark," Brittany informs her proudly, catching her stare.

The smile fades and Britt says, "I guess I'm not really dressed up though".

Santana looks down at her own white church dress with a flowered applique and white shoes, "This is just from church. I'll change too once we get there".

"Muy…bonito," Brittany says, "Is that right San? Very pretty?"

"Muy bonita," Santana replies, "You too Britt-Britt".

When they get to the house, people are spilling out onto the lawn. Santana bites her lip and looks to see Brittany's reaction. Britt just grins and pulls them out of the car. Her cousins Julio, Sergio, Rafael, and Marco are fighting with pretend swords but quickly crowd them.

Brittany's eyes widen and she reaches for Santana who links pinkies with her.

"This is Brittany," Santana introduces, "We'll come play later".

"Oooo, Santana's got a girlfriend," Rafael teases her.

"Do not," Santana huffs as she tugs Brit away, up the stairs.

"Come on, Tana. Don't be like that. He was kidding. It's not like you'd really fall for a girl. You can be on my team. No mine," the boys call as she stomps into the house.

Brittany looks at her face, _it's all stormy thunder clouds,_ "Come on San," she says softly, "Let's go meet your abuela".

Santana's face brightens.

"Abuelita, esta es mi amiga. Se llama Brittany," she calls eager to be heard over the noise.

"Santana, mi carina" her grandmother exclaims pulling her into a hug.

Brittany is dragged forward too by their interlocked fingers. It isn't long before she's included in the hug.

"Hola Abuelita," Brittany greets.

Santana giggles, "That means grandma, Britt".

"Oh, I thought it was her name," Brittany giggles back.

Then her grandmother does something Santana is still grateful for, she breaks her own rule.

"Hi Brittany. It's nice to meet you. You can call me Abuelita too if you want," she says with a wink, "I've heard a lot about you from Santana".

Brittany's face lights up.

"She can talk, Santana!" Brittany exclaims sticking her tongue out.

Santana had been _trying_ to prepare her for abuela only talking in Spanish, at this she just rolls her eyes.

"You're right Britt," she answers.

Santana changes her clothes and she and Brittany spent the afternoon running around with the boys and her dad, Antonio. They have her abuela's rice and beans for dinner, her uncle cooked fajitas, and her mom and aunt made tres leches for dessert. They eat at a big picnic table out back. Lantern lights are twisted in the trees and the sun is setting. Brittany had gotten along well with everyone, no surprise there.

* * *

After dinner, the boys run off somewhere in front and the adults go to clear the dishes. Santana takes the time to climb into her abuela's lap, Brittany standing beside her.

"Can we play boda?" Santana begs, "Please".

Her hands come up to cup her granddaughter's face, "Of course, nieta. Did you ask Brittany first though?"

Santana's face flushes, "Wanna play wedding Britt? It's lots of fun!"

Brittany nods immediately, _whatever Santana want to play is always fun_.

Santana brings down a basket full of old clothes from the upstairs bedroom. It's quiet outside, just the three of them. Santana immediately pulls out a white shawl and wraps it around her like a dress. Then she carefully removes the veil. Normally she'd hand it to her abuela to be placed on her head _just so_. But this time she gingerly places it on Brittany's blonde hair.

"What are you doing chica?" her grandmother asks, "You can't both be the bride".

Santana frowns, "Why not? It's the best part. I don't want to be the groom!" she whines stomping her foot.

"We could just have two brides get married to each other," Brittany offers innocently.

Santana nods.

"That isn't the way it works. The Bible says only a man and woman can be married," her abuela corrects.

Brittany's eyes are filling with tears. Santana doesn't really want to play anymore.

"Fine, Britts can be the bride," Santana huffs wrapping the shawl around her friend.

"You can be the maid of honor, Santanita," abuela says, lifting the little girl's chin, "You still get to wear a pretty dress and it means you're her best friend".

Santana's face brightens, "okay," she agrees digging in the box.

Her abuela finds a long red shirt and tugs it over Santana's head.

"Muy bonita, red is your color," she exclaims.

Santana grins and so does Brittany.

They walk down a makeshift aisle, Santana first then Brittany while abuela hums the wedding march. She asks what boy Brittany's going to marry today. Britt insists all boys have cooties but finally relents to the idea of marrying her kitten Lord Tubbington.

On the ride home Britt confides "But he's missed the ceremony, San," worriedly.

Santana had reassured her they could do it again, Bridget could be a bridesmaid and once her baby sister was born she could join in too.

"Our sister," Brittany corrects, she had promised to share the baby with Santana because she had no siblings.

Now after seeing her crazy cousins, Brittany's even happier she has all sisters.

Santana nods, "Did you have a good time?"

Brittany smiles, "Yeah, I want to go every weekend".

Santana looks away and Brittany can tell she is trying to build up courage to ask her something.

"What is it San? Can you not remember the English words? We can figure out what you mean together," she offers.

Santana shakes her head and her dark hair spills over her shoulders. She wants to ask what Brittany thinks of the house, it's small, with mismatched furniture inside and peeling paint outside. It looks a whole lot like her own house and Santana can't bring herself to ask.

"Never mind Britts," she answers, "Mami can you put on the CD?"

Santana's determined to teach Brittany some Spanish so they are rushing though "cabeza, hombros, piernas, pies" AKA head shoulders legs and feet, AKA head, shoulders knees and toes in English, as fast as they can on the last repetition and fall into laughter as they pull up to Brittany's house.

Brittany hugs her tightly, "I had the best day with you today, San," she whispers before dashing into her house.

* * *

Santana looks at Brittany sprawled across her bed. Her blond hair is strewn across the pillow. Santana wonders if Brittany ever learned the whole alphabet and decides Rachel had only grown more annoying as she aged.

She never did bring Brittany home to Lima Heights Adjacent. When they were in 5th grade they had moved into Lima Heights and Santana started having her over. She pretended they'd lived down the street all along. In 6th she started using her past as a threat and she assumed Brittany had figured it out. But she didn't know for sure, she'd yell "Soy de Lima Heights Adjacent" and Brittany would find Puck and together they would drag her away.

Now she had a bedroom with a sitting area and a walk-in closet. Her dad was making bank and Santana loved her new house with the huge outdoor fireplace and indoor movie theatre. But sometimes she misses when they were so squished together, constantly in each other's space, constantly together. Now her parents attend doctor's functions and leave her in an empty house.

It does have some advantages, like the blond currently in her bed. Santana slips off her robe and gets under the covers. Brittany's cold feet immediately find hers and intertwine. Santana allows this because it means she can use Britts as a pillow without feeling guilty.

This closeness, this sex that isn't dating, is why Brittany hasn't been to another Sunday dinner in years. She had come every Sunday until 7th grade, when they first kissed. Santana couldn't pretend it was just friends on her part and her abuela was way too perceptive, so she just stopped bringing Britt. She doubted her grandma would recognize the blond now.

"San," Britt murmurs in her sleep.

Santana is stirred from her thoughts and cuddles in. _Not that she would ever tell anyone she's the cuddler_.

"Night B," she whispers ghosting a kiss onto her forehead.

Santana closes her eyes and falls into a contented sleep.

* * *

A/N: So this is chapter two. Thanks to everybody who is still reading. Once again I'd love to know what you think. Hopefully, Santana's abuela was in character and you could see the love she had for her granddaughter but also her views being set up for later. Let me know what you think. The next chapter will probably feature the formation of the UnHoly Trinity, maybe. We'll see. Thanks for reading, I know this was a longish chapter and please review. Thanks!


	3. The Unholy Trinity

**Chapter Three: The Unholy Trinity**

* * *

Santana watches Brittany twirl around in her Cheerios skirt the next morning. Britt smiles and pushes Santana into her chair at her vanity. She playfully goes cheek to check with San and makes a fish face, prodding Santana's cheek until she smiles too. Santana looks at their matching red uniforms and identical grins. They have always been a packaged pair since 1st grade. Two for the price of one, where Santana was so was Britt.

People ran their names together when they talked _BrittanyandSantana_. It was never _SantanaandBrittany_. She isn't sure why. Maybe because Brittany was friendlier when responding, maybe because as much as she pretended she wasn't the real boss in the duo, or maybe it was because Santana always put Brittany first anyway.

"Santana?" Brittany prompts her again.

"Sorry B," she says looking up and admiring the regulation ponytail Brittany had pulled her hair into and curled.

"Ready to go?" Britt asks, playing with the charms on her bracelet.

She nods and grabs their backpacks, "Remember to be quiet".

Her parents had arrived home late and were probably still passed out. They both tended to drink a bit too much at these fancy doctor convention dinners. It was the only reason she had let Britt stay overnight. Her parents wouldn't have cared; they knew she wasn't fond of spending the night alone. But Santana didn't want them to have any reason to think twice about their friendship/relationship/whatever. They stop by the Lima Bean and Brittany grabs their standing coffee orders before they head to school.

* * *

Quinn's waiting for them by the entrance. Britt holds up her peach green tea, Quinn's current alternative to her typical vanilla latte.

"Thanks B," Quinn says, taking the drink and looking at Santana uncertainly.

San knows she has all the power in this relationship for once. A few words and Quinn's popularity would go tumbling down. She wonders what Quinn would do in her place, _stand by her? go for her jugular?_ Quinn looks at her with desperate doe eyes. Santana knows that standing means everything in this school, she decides to reserve judgment for now.

"Hey, Q" she offers, brushing past her and into the school.

Quinn lets out a sigh and shadows Santana. She's half a step behind the girls who are holding pinkies. Quinn knows Santana and Brittany are more than friends, sleepovers, the locker room, hanging out with them has let her know this. But she won't push them before they're ready, she just hopes they'll give her the same courtesy.

Quinn's head cheerleader, and Santana and Britt are her number 2 and 3 respectively. So they are there bright and early before morning practice. It's really pointless. They just head into the locker room and sit on the benches. But Coach Sylvester wants them to be there before the rest of the squad.

Santana is sitting on the end on one bench, nursing her coffee in silence, she isn't much of a morning person. Brittany is stretching out on the same bench, her one foot on the ground, the other right behind Santana's butt. Britt dips gracefully reaching for her toes. Quinn is standing in front of Santana. She's set her bag and tea down on the next bench and is whipping the cross back and forth on its chain.

Santana yawns, takes a long drag of her coffee and meets Quinn's eyes. Britt switches legs, stretches, then laughs and wraps her arms around Santana in a hug. Santana leans into it and then loosens Brittany's arms and tugs her to sit on the bench behind her.

"Q," she finally snaps.

Quinn stiffens.

"Stop yanking on that cross. You're gonna break it," Santana bites out.

Quinn drops her hand slowly, looking at Santana warily.

It brings her back to the first time she met Quinn.

They trade insults, snipe, backstab, bitch, whine, snitch and occasionally manage a decent conversation. But they also keep each other's secrets, the deep ones anyway. They always have each other's back when it counts.

She wasn't Quinn Fabray, HBIC then. Santana wasn't a bitch, she didn't have a Snixx side yet. They were just two little girls.

* * *

Santana was five when she was put in ballet because her abuela thought she was turning into a tomboy from spending so much time with her cousins. San whined about it to Britt who agreed to join too. Quinn came a year later.

She was introduced to the class as Lucy. She was a blond haired, blue-eyed angel of a girl. A bit chubby in a way that made her look vulnerable, a little younger maybe, than the other kids, but the weight wasn't an issue yet. She had blond hair that fell in perfect ringlets, that Santana would later find out were curled with a curling iron. Santana was itty bitty in size and stature, but a spitfire who had mastered English and wielded a sharp tongue. Brittany was a head taller than the rest of the kids in the room and already top of her class.

Quinn was clutching a black ballet bag with pink embroidered ballet shoes and her name Lucy in cursive. Her head was held high as instructed by her older sister, though her lips were trembling. A curt "See you after class, Lucy," and her big sister disappeared.

"Brittany, Santana," the teacher called out.

Santana shifted her eyes to her teacher and Britt stopped conversing with fairies.

The teacher beckoned them over, "You girls are the best in the class, I want you to try to catch Lucy up on our routine," she said softly so the other children don't hear.

The girls look at each other and nod walking over, pinkies linked, to the new girl. Lucy is sitting on the ground pulling on soft pink ballet shoes.

"Your hair should go in a bun," Santana says flatly.

Brittany nods.

Lucy's lip wobbles.

Brittany and Santana start stretching.

"Go on, put it up," Santana admonishes her.

Lucy scrambles to find a hair tie in her bag and then pauses. Brit and Santana are laughing, and she's hoping to make new friends.

Until Santana stops and looks at her, "Hurry up!"

Her sister always says, "Don't let anyone think you can't do something!" so Lucy is pulling her hair up like for a ponytail. She tries twice, then pulls the hair tie out.

"I don't know how," she says warily looking up at Santana, waiting to be yelled at.

Britt giggles and takes the hair tie from her, "I'll do it," she offers, starting to tug on the soft blonde hair.

"Why didn't you just say so?" Santana says rolling her eyes and pulling Lucy to her feet.

They show her how to stretch, to plié, the beginning steps to the dance, and in exchange Lucy shows them a world of luxury neither could imagine. Her family was old money, her mom an East Coast debutant, her father a Southern gentleman, her sister perfect.

Before long Britt had christened her the nickname, "Lucy-Lu", Santana "Luc". Lucy calls them "S" and "B". She takes them horseback riding on her ponies, on a yacht, to a musical, for the first time she has people. A year later she moved to Fairbrook when her dad switched jobs and the girls lost touch.

* * *

Britt drops her chin onto Santana's shoulder. Santana's sitting between Brittany's legs. They couldn't be more obvious about their relationship, though they seem to think it's some big secret. Quinn won't say anything, she'll bury the knowledge, just like she has the memories of Santana living in Lima Heights Adjacent. Even Brittany doesn't have this understanding of S.

Quinn was told she had to hand deliver all of her 6th birthday invitations. She had gotten the addresses from the dance studio, she'd known San for 2 ½ months, the house was tiny, re-paint needed, yard free of weeds but grass too long. Her Daddy made a face and picked her up to carry her to the front porch. When he finally set her down he held her hand tight, tight, tight.

She walked into a family room with a threadbare couch and TV and could see all the other rooms in the house, 2 bedrooms, a full bathroom, and kitchen. Santana had smiled and then her face flushed red in embarrassment. Her Daddy made small talk with Mrs. Lopez and Quinn had handed over the invitation. Santana had sworn her to secrecy and years later everyone thought the Lima Heights Adjacent thing was just an act. In exchange, San has kept her mouth shut about the little girl who was called Lucy, and made sure Brit stayed quiet too.

"I won't tell," Santana says casually, rolling her shoulders back.

Quinn picks up her tea and takes a sip. If they don't talk about it, it doesn't exist. Push away the bad feeling, that's how it works in the Fabray household.

"About what?" Brittany asks curiously.

Quinn sighs. Britt takes a lot of patience out of a friend, but she'll never forget that B was the one to offer the first olive branch of friendship.

"The baby," Quinn whispers, choking back tears.

It's the first time she's said the word out loud.

"Oh, neither will I," Brittany offers up, "I'm gonna go run the routine once before the rest of the squad gets here. I want to try adding some new choreo".

Quinn swears she could kiss Britt right now, or so the saying goes, for moving past the issue quickly.

"Okay, we'll meet you in a minute," Santana replies standing up and making her way over to the mirror.

Britt leaves with a wave.

* * *

Santana is applying lip gloss in the mirror and watching Quinn out of the corner of her eye. Q is trying to covertly wipe tears away.

Of course S can't stay out of it, can't let her fix up her face and just go away.

"You're not alone you know," Santana mumbles smacking her lips together.

The tears are falling faster, "Yeah, I know, I have Finn," she says flippantly, rolling her eyes.

"No, you have us," Santana says shoving the gloss into her bag, "And we are going to be late. So, come on".

Quinn lets out an involuntary sob.

Santana grabs a hold of her hand, "You're Quinn Fucking Fabray. You made a mistake, but you're the HBIC at this school, you'll be fine. You can cry later, I'll even sit there if you want, but we have to get going now or Coach will wonder what's up," she says wiping Quinn's tears and runaway mascara away with her fingers.

Quinn sniffs, "You're a bitch you know" and shoves San's hand away from her face.

"Takes one to know one," Santana quips, letting Quinn slide her fingers into her hand.

"That was weak, S, weak," Quinn replies leading them through the doorway.

* * *

On the field Britt joins them and busts between the two wrapping her arms around both their shoulders.

"How are the shorties doing?" she laughs, actually scrutinizing their faces.

"Pretty good, B," Santana responds.

Britt turns her face to Quinn.

"We're the Unholy Trinity, right B?" she shrugs in response.

"Together forever," Britt says in a way that makes it sound like a promise.

"Forever," Santana reaffirms, tugging them into the briefest hug and pushing Q away when she sees a freshman exit the locker room.

Quinn wonders if she'll always feel this alone around other people.

Britt's lifting Santana in a swing around hug.

Then again, those two always make others feel lonely, so wrapped up in each other.

She hates that, she hates them sometimes, for making her feel like the little girl who no one wanted to be partners with in class. But she loves them too, like best friends, like sisters, for making her feel wanted. She just wants someone like that.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. Let me know what you thought. Are the flashbacks' integration okay? Did you like the chapter? **


	4. Growing Up as Lucy

**Chapter 4: Growing Up as Lucy**

* * *

"Q?" Coach Sylvester yells.

Quinn jogs over, turning back to see Santana and Britt making silly _kill me now_ faces at her playfully.

She happily takes Coach's orders and cracks the whip on the freshmen that aren't pulling their weight.

Yelling isn't really her thing, that and actual altercations are Santana's domain. Britt gets her way pouting and looking innocent, cute, or helpless depending on the situation. Quinn usually whispers threats and sends icy glares.

She is a fan of slushing however. Mostly she gets the younger girls to do it for her, some times football players. She likes to have the girls do it though; it reminds them of what could happen if Quinn ever kicked them off the squad.

One raised eyebrow can get them to shut up, stop quivering, or even start apologizing for no reason. And this happens immediately, the other cheerleaders are watching her face so intently. It's a bit unnerving sometimes. To have so many people watching you all the time, half in admiration, half hoping you'll mess up. For someone who spent so long trying to avoid others' eyes, Quinn is constantly reminding herself to step up, show no fear, and seem larger than life.

* * *

Quinn spent most of her childhood trying to be small. Be quiet, polite, take up less space, so maybe her parents will be willing to bring her along to Rosalie's cheer competitions and horse jumping shows instead of leaving her with a nanny. She tries to be small in school, unnoticed, blend in so she isn't a target. She gets good grades, goes to Sunday school, and takes ballet. Lucy brings books when she gets to go along. Huge stacks to read in the car and when the other people are performing. She makes it through all the Boxcar Children and Little House on the Prairie books. She's in 1st grade.

Then her sister becomes a star, and her parent's reward their oldest daughter with their time and attendance. Lucy in exchange is given treats, toys, and candies to make up for their lack of presence. She gains some weight in 2nd grade and Rosie becomes a Belleville Bulldog cheerleader in 6th.

She drops dance in 3rd and Rosalie makes captain of her middle school squad. Lucy gets glasses and makes her way through the big, fat Harry Potter books as they come out. The first movie is released. Her parents don't like the witchcraft in it, but let Rosie go see it because she's in 7th grade. They deem Lucy too young.

Her parents stop using the name _Little Lucy_ for her, her dad uses _Lucy Q_, her mother just _Lucy_ in an admonishing tone. The other kids call her Lucy Caboosey; she's only in 4th grade. Her sister drops Rosie in favor of a more grown up Rose, now that she'll be in high school next year. People at school stop talking to Lucy at all. Rose decides her sister is a liability and starts to avoid her too. Lucy complains and her parents say she's just upholding the Fabray name. It's implied that Lucy _isn't_. Rose gets blonde highlights and a spray tan. Lucy's glasses prescription goes up and she gets thicker glass lenses and a new frame to go with. Her hair has darkened from its bright baby blond to a muddy brown over the years. A back to school doctor's visit, Rose is in the 10th percentile for weight, Lucy has _gone up again_.

Rose is on the Falcons and starts to only drink weird green shakes. Lucy is shopping in the plus size section, trying to find girl clothes that won't cause her to be an even bigger target at school. She's a 5th grader desperate for middle school, _praying_ that there will be someone else who will get teased even if that's not the most Christian of prayers. Her mother ignores her and laments that Rose isn't getting a debutant ball. Her father proclaims he's glad he'll only have to threaten boyfriends for _one_ daughter, because _one _is _enough_. Lucy realizes he doesn't think she's pretty. No one else does, but this hurts and she cries in her bedroom. Her face pressed against the pillow to muffle the sound.

Rose has a huge Sweet Sixteen birthday party. She's a sophomore and gets a silver convertible. The Twilight books become thing and everyone says she's the most beautiful in Fairbrook just like the character. Lucy is in 6th and can't even get anyone to dissect a frog with her. She takes up ballet again, only privates to avoid the other children's stares. She puts on the leopard but refuses the tights and skirt in favor of yoga pants. Her dad teaches her how to play chess. He starts to treat her a bit like his little girl again. She wonders if it's because she's in ballet and starting to lose weight. Rosalie wears her Falcons uniform everyday; she's made captain, the youngest to do so in the high school's history.

Lucy's in 7th and has her sister dye her hair. It's the day before the school picture and turns out red, which really just accentuates the acne on her face and doesn't detract at all from the braces. Rose gets a page just on her and is on another three with the rest of the Falcons. Lucy takes gymnastics and starts to lose some more of the weight, she goes on Proactive. Rose falls in lust with the quarterback who is a senior but picks her anyway. Her mother starts drinking earlier in the day and not just the usual glass at dinner. Her father is staying out late. Rosalie is declared prom queen.

Rose decides to be a councilor at cheer camp over the summer that teaches basic to advanced skills. It's the summer before 8th grade, Lucy's down to a size 12 and decides to go with. Her mother is a critical drunk and Lucy can only take so many comments before she breaks. She knows she's athletic already from ballet and gymnastics. The camp is for many districts in her area. Apparently its competitive to get into, but she's a legacy, because of Rose who's been going for years.

The cabins are grouped by age and there she runs into Santana and Brittany. She would never forget the girls who were her 1st and only friends, but the two don't even recognize her at first. Santana seems to want to forget she exists, but Brit greets her excitedly if a bit confused on how they know each other. This Coach Sylvester is a hard ass and Lucy finds herself running laps long after the other girls are released. She calls her names like "Butterball" and "Beached Whale" and tells her she's going to run until she's an acceptable weight to be hoisted to the top of the pyramid. The girls from her school let it "slip" that she's called "Lucy Caboosey" and soon that catches on as well. Every meal is a Sue Sylvester shake recipe, some are gross to the point she's skipping meals. But Lucy also picks up choreography faster than anybody but Britt.

For every night of tears and day of bullying, the numbers on the scale continue to go down. Santana is a fighter and for the first time in years Lucy just needs to deal with name calling instead of trips and shoves. By the end of the summer she's a size 8 and the Britt and San have convinced her to go blond.

In 8th grade she makes the cheer squad. She's a blond now and finally starting to fit into the Norman Rockwell family portrait her mother always wanted. Her braces are taken off to reveal straight, white teeth. Her father starts to ask her to come with on dinners at the country club and introduces her as his daughter. Rosalie is graduating this year and says Lucy has a shot at being on the squad for the Fairbrook Falcons. She lets Lucy hangout around her friends and paints her nails. Some one asks her to a dance for the first time in her life.

Then she finds out her dad is being transferred. The job comes with a pay raise and means losing the chance to be on the cheer team. But it also means moving away from the children who have tormented her since 3rd grade. Rose gets to finish out her year and is accepted at Ole Miss, which her mom pushes for and UPenn, dad's choice. Rose decides to cheer for the Rebels. Her dad is upset and it's the perfect time for Lucy to request something. She asks for a nose job. He purses his lips but nods. Her mother fawns over her, saying she thought Luc would never ask. Rosalie tells her it looks good. She swaps out glasses for contacts to show it off.

Freshman year she's at McKinley. So are Brittany and Santana. She's asked her parents to call her Quinn and told the girls to never mention her past. She doesn't know if Coach Sylvester realizes she's the same girl from last summer, now she's thinner, blond, has a great nose, no glasses and her acne is completely cleared up. Coach says Quinn reminds her of a young Sue Sylvester. Q has clawed her way to the top, and rules the school with Santana and Britt. When the captain falls during a stunt and is out for the season only three weeks into the year, Quinn jumps when the opportunity is offered.

Coach has always kept her reasons close to her chest. Whether she admired Quinn for her beauty, or was proud of the improvement she made over the year Quinn will never know. She's chosen as captain because Sue thinks seniors are slackers and juniors are know-it-alls. The sophomores are awful and bratty. So she picks a freshman, in her own image, that she thinks she can control. She could have controlled Lucy no problem; she was quiet and would have asked how high. But now she's reinvented her image and revamped her personality to match, ask her to jump and she'll ask you why. The popularity only fuels her desire to stay far away from her miserable past as Lucy Caboosey. She picks on Rachel and relishes giving slushies. As long as she can torment someone else, she isn't on the bottom.

* * *

Quinn's off at practice today. All she can think about is her pregnancy and how she's going to lose what she worked so hard to gain. She won't go back to being miserable.

* * *

Lucy usually tries to walk in right before the bell. That way she can grab her books and head straight to class, leaving the other students with less time to harass her. But today she had to meet early with a teacher. When she exited the classroom and headed to her locker, the hallways were still crowded with people. She would have hid out in the teacher's classroom but someone else had come in to ask a question and he had waved her out.

Jeers of "Lucy Caboosey so fat she so can't wear juicy" from a cheerleader and a annoyed "couture you bitch" response to a freshman fill her ears. Slushies weren't a thing here. Instead the football players rushed her from both sides and pushed her around between them, bouncing her off their shoulders. A few harsh taunts and a sharp slam into a locker, a laugh at the tears in her eyes and the players left.

Another Bulldogs cheerleader led the next round as she finally made it to her locker. "Rosie Posie, pudding and pie, had a sister that made her want to cry" the trio laughed. They started again "Rosie Posie pudding and pie, had a sister that made her want to die".

Lucy finishes grabbing her books and throws them in her bag.

"Lucy Caboosey, fat, ugly, pathetic and all alone," the head cheerleader, Darcy, sneers. "No older sister here. How'd the Fabrays managed to have a kid like her and one like you?" she mimes gagging. "No friends at all. How sad isn't it girls?"

The other two nodded putting on false pouts.

Lucy's back is pressed up against the navy lockers, her heart pounding.

Darcy leans in, "Crying like a baby".

Lucy thinks about responding but that usually only makes it worse.

The first bell rings. The girls laugh, high five and walk off.

Lucy wipes her eyes, annoyed that they can upset her so much. She hates that the only conversations she'll have today are just more insults. Darcy was right; no one at school even talks to her.

Third period is biology. Today they are dissecting frogs. Lucy doesn't like the people at school but she does like the schoolwork. Biology is one of her best subjects. So this class isn't usually a problem, even if she ends up being forced to do all the work by her group. They are told to pair up with whomever they want.

Darcy, Emmy, and Madeline are in this class, so are a lot of football players.

Lucy waits assuming she'll just have to work with whoever doesn't have a partner after the scramble. It comes down to Darcy, Emmy, and Madeline sitting together in the last row. Lucy is sitting at the first lab table and is reluctant to walk over.

"Can we be a group of three?" Emmy asks.

The teacher at first says no, someone needs to be Lucy's lab partner. All three refuse, which doesn't surprise her. So then he asks the class if anyone would split up, one to be Lucy's partner and one to be Madeline's. Plenty of people offer to be Madeline's partner and leave their own. But not one person, even when directly asks agrees to be Lucy's. Some just don't want to, others cut their eyes toward Darcy's before shaking their heads. Slowly Lucy realizes that this is Darcy's newest plan.

The teacher is becoming exasperated, "We don't have time for this. We only have today and tomorrow to finish the dissections. You girls can work together and Lucy can do it by herself. Just let me know if you have any questions, Lucy".

Darcy shoots her a self-satisfied smirk.

Lucy bites her lip hard to keep from crying and nods. She faces the front and cuts into the frog following the instructions. She carefully labels the parts in her packet trying to block out the chatter and laughter among the other groups. Parts of it are teasing her, others are just reminders of the friendships she lacks.

The next day, the teacher asks again for volunteers to partner with her. Lucy thinks she should be used to it by now, it shouldn't feel like a punch to the throat every time a person says no, none even show any guilt this time. She dissects the frog alone, gets an A and no one cares, Rose is celebrated for making captain at Fairbrook, Lucy decides she hates biology and can't last like this much longer.

* * *

Quinn snaps at a Cheerio who falls out of a cartwheel. Lucy sucked, but all she has to do is remember that now she's Quinn. And Quinn's life is picturesque. It has been ever since she made it to the top of the pyramid, both social and cheer.

* * *

Freshman year at WMHS. Quinn knows all the choreography backwards and forwards, she spends her nights practicing it until it's ingrained in her head. Her mornings are spent ironing her Cheerios uniform, putting her hair into that regulation pony, and making sure her makeup is just so. She knows she's hot stuff now and better look like it.

At school she pause outside the doors to settle into her new personality as HBIC. San and Britt come with her vanilla latte, for now its them being nice, but soon it will become a routine, and then an expectation. She has Celibacy club meetings that are made up of all Cheerios. The motto "All about the teasing and not about the pleasing" is a nice way to cover for the fact that she hasn't even had her first kiss yet.

Cheerios practice is in groups of three, her S and B of course. Pairs, with everyone clamoring to be her partner after Ava the captain picks first. And pyramids where she's on top on the secondary pyramid and Ava tops the main one. But yesterday Ava fell and now she's out for the season, so every one is wondering who her replacement is going to be.

"Probably Sabrina," Quinn says rolling eyes as they walk to afternoon practice.

"You might have a shot Q," Santana declares.

"No way S. I'm a freshman," Quinn shakes her head, "Everyone knows Britt is the best at dancing anyway".

Brittany laughs and twirls, "Yeah but I wouldn't want to in charge. You have to be mean and yell at people".

Santana doesn't say anything, but Quinn knows she'd love to be captain too.

"San's the best tumbler," Brittany offers.

Santana nods, no modesty on that girl, "But Coach hates me".

"She hates everyone," Quinn says shoving her bag into a locker.

The truth is, Coach doesn't scream at her as much as everyone else, but Quinn isn't about to get her hopes up.

Practice runs long as she has them run the routine over and over, slowly kicking off people for making a mistake and having them run laps.

"My new captain is going to be the best!" Coach Sylvester yells into her megaphone, "The best of you crop of pathetic, whiny, brats. You think this is hard, try…"

Quinn blocks out her voice, she's gotten good at ignoring people of the years, and focuses on the routine. It comes down to her, Santana, Britt, and Sabrina. Coach, in a way that is nice-ish for her, tells Brittany she isn't head Cheerio material. But she lets the girl sit on the field instead of doing laps.

She has them do splits and times _how long you can hold them._ Walkovers follow, _how many can you do in a row_, forward and backward. Then she calls the other cheerleaders back over and has them make three pyramids. _How long can you last at the top?_ Sabrina holds her splits the longest, Santana does the most flips, and Quinn, standing triumphantly hands on hips, stays in place the longest on the pyramid.

So Sue gives them one finally task, _how well can you lead?_ Each girl is whispered an order to give to the squad. They each shout out the order and Coach watches to see who follows which command. At first the girls stand around watching Sue like this is some kind of test.

Quinn is the first to repeat her command "I told you to do a headstand, what are you waiting for an engraved invitation, get to it?" A raised eyebrow and a smirk get the girls to fall in line.

Santana and Sabrina quickly repeat their orders, but it's too late.

"Congratulations, you're my new head Cheerio, Q".

Quinn's face lights up and she's immediately hugging Brittany and Santana.

Santana admits it hurts not to be chosen first. It feels like she's never anybody's first choice. But she thinks back to the Quinn, Lucy, she met at camp a year ago and thinks maybe she needs this more. After all, Santana has Brittany whooping in her ear. Plus Coach knew who she wanted all along, there's no way she would have really left the decision up to the squad. Quinn should have won the splits comp. too, the odds were stacked in her favor. Quinn tells Santana she's going to be her right hand woman, and some of the sting goes away.

That afternoon Quinn has her first kiss ever, with Finn Hudson, the quarterback. He's dopey and doesn't really know what he's doing either. She pretends like she's kissed tons of boys and he apologizes when he thinks he's screwing it up. He's who everyone expects her to be with. Quinn acts annoyed that he sticks up for everyone, but really it's nice to know he'd never be mean to her or call her names. That's what she needs right now someone, nice and safe, who calls her beautiful and won't remind her at all of her past. Puck is hot, but trouble, Santana can keep him for now. Finn asks her to be his girlfriend.

Her parents fawn over her when she gets home. They tell her they are proud and she's upholding the family name. They even call Rose to tell her, deviating from their Sunday afternoons after church phone call schedule. Her mother says cheerleading, especially being captain, will give her a shot at any college she wants. Her dad says he's so pleased with his Quinnie, though he supposes now she'll have all sorts of boys vying for her attention. Quinn tells them she's with Finn and they seem even happier about that then the cheerleading news.

Quinn vows to never let go of this newfound popularity.

* * *

Lucy was a happy little toddler. She had sparkling hazel eyes, white blond hair, and round cheeks. She never fussed and let herself be dressed like a doll. By 2 she could sit still enough to have her 1st grade sister paint her nails. Her mother cooed over her. Her father carried her on his shoulders.

Lucy was a miserable little girl. She had glasses, dirty brown hair, acne and extra weight. Her only comfort was a fantasy of book characters. Her family ostracized her and no one would talk to her at school. She dissected her own frog and she changed her life.

Quinn was a perfect teen. She had vibrant hazel eyes, honey blond hair, a new nose and sculpted cheeks. She was Head Cheerio and the most popular student in the school. She was dating Finn, the quarterback. She had two friends/lackeys. She got straight As and went to peer ministry. Her mother bought her pretty dresses. Her father proudly held her hand. She was pregnant but she was never going back to being unpopular. And one day she would be prom queen.

* * *

**A/N: A Quinn focused chapter. Because I think she has so much more going on below the surface. And she's an important part of the Unholy Trinity. More of Santana and Britt next chapter, Q too. This was meant to be a brief overview of Quinn's childhood but there may be a few more in-depth flashbacks for her (esp. summer cheer camp). Thanks for reading. I really appreciate your reviews. Sidenote: Guest review who suggested italics for flashbacks, I'll keep that in mind. These flashbacks were just too long to do that. Thanks for reviewing! **


	5. Better Without Feelings, But I Love You

**Chapter Five: Better Without Feelings, But I Love You**

* * *

Santana spends practice keeping an eye on both blondes. Quinn for signs she's cracking, B for the way she moves her body as she does back handsprings.

Brittany sends her a bright smile, her blond hair gleaming. Santana sends one back before wiping it off her face and barking orders at her group.

At the end of practice Brittany and Santana direct a bunch of girls on how to put away the equipment. Meanwhile Quinn is getting reamed out by Coach Sue. It's a typical after practice affair. Sue yells at each cheerleader when they mess up during practice. Then she screams at Quinn for every one of their failures afterward. She's head Cheerio and it's her responsibility to have them ready for competition. Usually Quinn struggles not to roll her eyes or talk back and they laugh about it in the locker room. Today Quinn just rushes past them with what almost looks like tears in her eyes.

* * *

After practice, B corners her in the locker room and convinces her to share a shower stall now that most of the team has left. As a result, they take longer than usually and step out in towels when Quinn is already dressed.

"I'm just going to head home," Quinn says pulling her wet hair into a pony, "Sorry Santana but I have a lot of homework".

The three girls are supposed to be having a sleepover tonight, like they do every Friday. Then they can go to early morning Cheerios practice on Saturday. Sunday is their only day off. Quinn has plenty of time to do work the rest of the weekend. She's always ahead anyway.

Santana takes in her red-rimmed eyes and struggles to decide what to do. On one hand this was already planned and she doesn't like the idea of Quinn going home to be all alone, on the other side it's what Q wants and would give her and Britts some alone time.

Quinn grabs her backpack. She doesn't think it really will matter much to them anyway. It's fun for a while and then the jabs get mean and Brittany intercedes. They go to bed and the girls sneak off after they think she's asleep. Sometime she is, sometimes she isn't. For a while she thought they were going to play a prank on her or something, her old insecurities cropping up. Once she figures out what they are doing, she's just glad they left the room. But it's weird to go from all curled up together to shivering under a blanket alone. Though they are always back by the time she wakes up in the morning.

Brittany jumps onto her. Quinn loses her balance under the impact and nearly hits her head on the open locker door under the new weight. Britt slides off sheepishly and slings an arm around her shoulders.

"But we were supposed to go over new routines together," B frowns, "and eat ice cream".

Santana tosses a t-shirt to Brittany who is standing in just shorts and a bra. Quinn has gotten used to the girls' lack of modesty, even if she still changes in the stall.

As Brittany pulls it over her head, Quinn exchanges glances with Santana.

"Can we do tomorrow instead? Just postpone it?" Quinn allows, picking up the Cheerios binder.

"Yeah, let her have a day to do her shit and she'll be more fun," Santana backs her up, even though she looks unsure, "We can get our Sweet Valley High on and decide what to do tomorrow night".

"We were going to make cookies. And we can't without you, Santana always burns them," Britt pouts.

"Hey," Santana says giving her a light shove.

"I'll even make pancakes in the morning," Quinn offers, scooping up her Cheerios bag, "But I've got to go now".

Quinn hurries out before B catches her with puppy dog eyes, and before either can offer to help with her stuff.

Santana turns to Britt, "She was over last night and we'll see her tomorrow," and gives her a quick kiss, "Let's go B".

Britt brightens up again and nods.

* * *

Brittany is stretched across her bed eating cherry pull and peel licorice. Santana thinks its gross but she makes sure they always have some since its Britt's favorite. Brittany likes to swirl the pieces into shapes before eating it.

They are dressed down from their Cheerios uniforms, Santana in yoga pants and a red tank top, Britt in shorts and a white t-shirt with WMHS on it in red. They both have a big WMHS wardrobe of extra clothes thanks to Sue.

Britt gestures for her to come over and Santana flops down beside her on the bed. Sweet Valley High is playing on the TV on her dresser. Santana offers B the bowl of cookie dough she's holding. While Santana can't bake cookies she can at least make the dough. Britt takes a scoop with her finger and pops it into her mouth.

Then she laughs and kisses Santana, "Do I taste like cookie dough or licorice?"

"Both B," Santana answers scooting closer.

They are both lying on their stomachs and Brittany wraps her arm around San.

"God Liz, don't be such a bore," Santana remarks rolling her eyes.

Brittany laughs, "Be nice San," she warns kissing Santana's neck.

They miss the rest of the episode. She doesn't think they've ever made it more than 15 minutes before giving in to sweet lady kisses. That's why they can watch it nearly everyday after school and never get bored. Eventually they pull apart and settle in on their backs against the pillows. Britt is playing with her hair and it's making her sleepy. Santana drops her head onto Britt's shoulders.

"This is creepy," Brittany says turning her gaze away from the screen.

Santana looks up at her, "They're trying to revive some student who died 25 years ago. Never gonna happen".

This is the second episode to play tonight and it's already halfway over.

Britt just whimpers, so she reluctantly sits up and looks for the remote. Grabbing it she hits the off button. Britt has that look in her eyes, the brightest blue, _I love you _look.

Santana gets up and grabs the water bottle on her desk. She takes a deep sip and tries to avoid looking Brittany.

_It's better without feelings, don't let it get messy, she's your best friend_, Santana repeats in her head. It's what she keeps telling Brittany, telling everyone, trying to tell herself._ Sex isn't dating_. It would help if she believed it.

"San? San?" Britt's calling her, "Did the aliens come and steal your brain for testing?"

Santana looks up, "What? No. Do you want to order pizza or chinese?"

And Brittany, the angel that she is, doesn't press any further.

"Pizza," she says bouncing on the edge of the bed, sending her blond hair flying.

She's giggling now, "extra cheese, mushrooms, green peppers, pepperoni, and pineapple, no sardines".

"Gross," Santana says scrunching up her face. Brittany likes to order new random combinations each time.

Britt just smiles, blue eyes sparking, blond hair in disarray around her shoulders, "You know you want to try it".

People think that she and Britt just fall together when they're drunk at parties, maybe in between boyfriends. And Santana lets them believe it because she isn't ready for them to know its not the falling together that does her in, it's the fact she feels like without her, she would fall apart.

Santana places the order, half _that_, half pepperoni in case its inedible.

"Q was sad today," Brittany says softly.

Santana is painting her nails baby blue as they wait for the pizza to arrive. She's hoping to be done soon because Brittany doesn't have the patience to wait for them to dry before eating.

"Yeah. I think its all the baby stuff. That would suck, you know," Santana says, finishing the first coat.

"And she won't be able to be a Cheerio anymore," Brittany responds, blowing on her nails to dry them faster.

"I can't believe Finn bought that dumb hot tub story," Santana smirks, taking Brittany's hand back. The story had been news to them and clearly Q should have discussed it first, she was a horrible liar and hopeless at coming up with something believable.

"At least she told us the truth," Britt replies, "and we _aren't_ going to tell anybody".

"You take the fun out of everything," Santana grumbled, "You know Finn's gonna find out at some point. And shit's gonna hit the fan. Hobbit's going to flip out".

"Exactly. And you can mock everybody then," Brittany allows, "Except Quinn 'cause she's our friend".

Santana bites back a response. Quinn is kind of their friend, but she shouldn't have gone after Puck. He was Santana's.

"Plus if you talk everybody will be mad at you," Brittany continues.

"They always are anyway. I'm a bitch," Santana shrugs applying the clear top coat.

"Liar," Brittany teases, "You're a big softy.

"Am not," Santana snipes playfully.

"Are too," Britt hums.

The doorbell rings.

"Saved by the bell," Santana declares, capping the nail polish and heading down stairs.

"Like the TV show?" Brittany asks following her.

Santana grabs the money her parents let on the counter and laughs, "not exactly".

They sit in the kitchen and scarf down pizza. Screw Sue's diet plan. Brittany is actually eating her weird pizza and Santana is savoring the pepperoni, knowing Q would have made them get bacon. Britt puts Wife Swap on and they laugh, impersonating the families.

A Disney movie later, Lilo and Stitch, by Santana's request that they get off this princess kick, and they are flicking popcorn at each other. It started one piece at a time during the middle of the movie.

"Give up Pierce," Santana taunts as the credits roll.

"Never Lopez," Brittany quickly replies, throwing an entire handful.

Santana grabs the whole bowl, "What are you going to do now?"

"Bring it on," Britt yells chasing her.

Santana ends up backed into a corner by the laundry room and holds the bowl above her head.

"Really?" Brittany says looking disappointed.

Santana pauses confused.

"I'm like a foot taller than you," Britt laughs reaching for the bowl.

Santana goes to dump it on her and Brittany pushes back. It ends up all over the two and the floor. The bowl was practically full since they were stuffed with pizza. After cleaning up the floor and picking popcorn out of each other's hair, they head back upstairs. Pajamas and lights out at midnight so they can wake up for early morning practice tomorrow. Slackers don't make for national champions.

Brittany quickly falls asleep; she always does, even in the car. Santana on the other hand is lying in bed. At first she's staring at Brittany, but then she decides that's a bit creepy. She casts her gaze to the window, the moonlight illuminating B's face, and then the closet door, shut tight so no monsters can get out. She settles on the ceiling. Plastered with glow in the dark stars that Brittany had put up. Santana had tried but at 9 years old she couldn't reach, even when jumping on the bed.

The salesperson had assumed Santana was the one scared of the dark. They always thought Brittany was older than she really was because she was tall. She was treated as the responsible one, which is part of why Santana thinks she plays dumb now. Part of it is to get her way, part of it is naïve innocence, but part she thinks is to make up for always getting treated like she was too old to still believe in…whatever. Santana on the other hand was babied and given what ever she wanted. Sure cousins squashed her beliefs in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny early, but she could say she was too little to vacuum and it worked for years.

Britt has curled closer to her while sleeping. Santana thinks of Quinn again.

* * *

Yesterday, the three had come back from practice laughing and shoving each other as they raced up the stairs. Brittany had declared a race once they were in the front door and they were each determined to win. Brittany had burst through the bedroom door first followed by Santana then Quinn. They had made faces at each other and Santana collapsed on the bed. Britt sat cross legged on the floor and Quinn claimed the desk chair. They were trying to catch their breath from an all out sprint when Quinn's had turned into sobs. Brittany's eyes had shot up to catch Santana's in a panic.

Santana blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, "You really can't handle losing, can you Fabray?"

Quinn doesn't quip back but just keeps crying, spinning the chair to face away from them.

San sighs and gets up, "What's wrong?"

Brittany sticks her foot out and catches the legs of the chair spinning it back around.

"Did Finn do something?" Santana asks starting to get angry.

Quinn lifts up her head, her cheeks are covered in mascara. Her face is clearly visible because her hair is still in its ponytail.

Quinn can feel her confidence fading, "I'm pregnant," she spits out quickly.

Santana's eyes widen and for once she doesn't say anything.

Brittany's mouth drops open, "You and Finn?"

Quinn shakes her head.

"Well, was it an immaculate conception?" Santana prods her.

Quinn's hazel eyes well up again. Both girls are staring at her expectantly. She can't bring herself to say it, Finn's best friend, Santana's boy toy, San's going to be pissed.

"Puck," she lets the word fall out before bursting into tears again.

Santana wants to slap her, some friend she is, Puck is hers. But she pushes down the feeling, Quinn needs them right now. Plus Puck was all about the sex anyway, there was no real relationship there, and she has Brittany, kind of, that's a whole other issue.

Santana takes a step forward; Brittany moves to intercede before seeing there's no malice in her eyes. Another step brings her to the desk. Quinn has managed to bring her knees to her chest and curl up in the chair.

"Q," Santana whispers, letting her hand rest on Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn looks up at her with watery eyes and desperation.

Santana nudges her, "Get up".

Quinn looks worried.

San realizes how that could sound, "Go sit on the bed," she adds.

Quinn does as she's told and wipes at her cheeks with an open hand. She's just relieved that Santana hasn't kicked her out and they aren't all out fighting. Santana shoves her over into the middle over the bed. She slides in on one side and Brittany on the other. Santana pulls a blanket over the three of them.

"A Quinn sandwich," Brittany declares wrapping her arms around Quinn to reach Santana.

Santana hesitates then follows her lead.

So when Quinn collapses into tears again it's in her best friends' arms. Britt is stroking her hair, letting it down from its ponytail and Santana is rubbing her back.

Quinn feels like her heart is beating too fast, she can't catch her breath, and everything just hurts. _Her parents will disown her. The girls are her friends now but once the school knows?_ _She can't have Puck as the father how would they raise a baby. It's better without feelings, Finn is the logical choice. He could provide maybe, one day. You don't love Puck, just keep telling yourself that. Finn, Finn, Finn. A baby, oh god…_

"Shhhh," Santana soothes.

Quinn's face is buried in Santana's shoulder.

"Shhhhh," she repeats.

Gradually Quinn quiets down, when Santana gently pulls away, quite a while later, Quinn has fallen asleep. Brittany helps her ease Q down onto the bed.

They sit against the bed on the floor and watch 13 Going On 30 on Santana's laptop. They don't want to wake Quinn with the TV or leave her alone. San texted her mom and Quinn's to let them know they'd be staying at Brittany's overnight. Britt let her mom know the girls _needed_ to sleepover but was vague about the why.

When Quinn wakes up it's the middle of the movie and the laptop's glow lets her know they are still there. Brittany is eating Razzles that she got from the desk drawer once that part happened. Santana reluctantly took one too. Hearing the rustling of sheets they both look up.

"Come watch Q," Santana says, smacking her gum loudly.

"I hate that sound," Quinn complains, her voice coming out hoarse.

She shifts to lie on her stomach across the bed width wise. Quinn props her head up on her hands and yawns. Brittany takes the yawn as an opportunity to jam a Razzle in her mouth. Nearly choking Quinn chews it with a look of distaste.

"Apparently it's tradition," Santana says rolling her eyes.

Brittany pokes her sharply. Quinn pushes her long blond hair behind her ears and waits.

"What color is my tongue?" Brittany asks sticking it out to show Quinn.

"Red," Quinn answers softly.

"Red, red, or tongue red?" Britt says trying to stick her tongue far enough out to see it.

"Razzle red," Quinn laughs.

Following the movie's script and the way they always do it, she turns to Santana.

"Show me yours," Quinn demands.

"No, I'm not showing you my tongue," Santana pretends to huff.

Quinn quickly playfully sticks out her own, "C'mon San I showed you mine".

"I didn't ask to see yours," Santana says turning away.

Brittany is full on belly laughing.

"San, I need to see your tongue," Quinn insists nudging her.

Santana sticks hers out.

"Razzle blue," Quinn giggles.

Santana cracks a smile.

After countless movie nights they have this scene memorized, even though they tend to switch around the parts.

"Want to know a secret?" Britt asks looking up at her.

"Yeah," Quinn answers after a beat. She forgot the scene continued for a second.

"You're the sweetest girl I've ever known," Brittany finishes, sincerely.

The look of utter honesty in Britt's eyes creates a lump in Quinn's throat.

"You're the sweetest we've ever know too," Santana jumps in.

Quinn nods, crossing her arms and using them as a pillow for her head. Santana hits play and the movie continues.

Quinn stays on the bed, suspended above them, near them but separate, kind of how she always feels around them.

"Razzle red, by the way," Brittany whispers to her, once Quinn is almost asleep.

Santana shoots them a weak glare; she hates talking during the movies.

"Spit out the gum Fabray," she demands upon seeing Quinn's half shut eyelids, "No choking in casa Lopez".

The girls go and change into pajamas, spit out the gum, throw away the trash, and get ready for bed. Quinn is pushed into the middle again. Britt's in an old dance recital t-shirt and blue plaid pants, Santana is in black satin pajamas pants and a matching long sleeve top, Quinn's wearing a nightgown. They all have clothes at each other's houses.

"Good night B. Good night Santana. Good night Q. Good night San. Good night Quinn. Good night Britt," is exchanged.

Quinn is lying between them on her back, her hands making their way to her stomach. Brittany is already asleep contently beside her. Santana is silent, but still awake.

After about a minute, Santana's hands come up and cover her own. They slowly ease hers away from her still flat stomach. Santana entwines their fingers and settles them on the mattress between the two girls. She doesn't say a word, just gives a light squeeze. Quinn's eye lashes flutter, suddenly tired, and she falls asleep.

In the morning, Quinn freaks. She has school, Cheerios, celibacy club, _ha_ and can't handle the fact that two people know her secret. So she runs, retreating to her car after quickly changing and scribbling a _see you at school_ note for the girls. Her text requesting a peach green tea instead of a vanilla latte goes unanswered and Quinn's nerves begin to get the best of her. But when Brittany holds it up as they walk toward her, she begins to relax. Santana says 'hey Q' and can see the tension melt out of her.

* * *

Santana drags her minds away from the event. The rest of it happened today and all of it is fresh in her mind. She turns to look at Brittany again. She looks angelic while sleeping. Santana rubs he eyes tiredly and lets her head drop onto Britt's shoulder.

"Love you B," she whispers softer than soft.

She can manage an off hand playful 'Love ya' but she can't bring herself to say it seriously unless Britt is sleeping.

_It's better without feelings, that way you can't get hurt. But when the feelings are already there and not going away, it all just kind of sucks. Think of Kurt, keep Britt safe from that. Think of yourself, you know she doesn't feel that way about you. Friends can talk with their tongues super close, it doesn't mean anything. But deny it all you want, you know this is different than with the usual parade of guys, different than with Puck. It's better without feelings but I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before._

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter. Here's my version of San and Britt finding out about the pregnancy. They didn't seem all that surprised during the episodes and I will address Q and San's fight later on. I really appreciate your feedback. I don't mind anonymous reviews, logging in is sometimes a pain. But I would love if you filled in a name just so I know who is saying what from chapter to chapter. If not, I'd still love to hear from you. Favorite part, bits you'd change, criticism, hopes for future chapters, whatever. Thanks! **


	6. Reforming the Trinity

**Chapter Six: Reforming the Trinity**

* * *

Early morning practice is awful as usual. It's too early to really be awake so the freshmen keep making stupid little mistakes. Brittany is fine because its ingrained in her muscle memory, Santana is getting by on two cups of coffee. Quinn is adequate, mostly barking orders. Sue takes pity on her after she's dropped for the second time. The girls are set to laps besides Q and Britt. Santana is stuck running while the other two work on new choreography Brittany's created. The only good news is that she's been set as the pacer. She is in charge of the speed the girls' run, she runs behind them and they all need to stay ahead of her.

Afterward they part ways to do homework. Santana does hers alone at home while B is supposed to be meeting with a tutor. San helps her with Spanish but that's it. Britt insists she can do the rest. Quinn is probably already done. The three girls plan to meet at 5 for dinner. Santana insists on Breadstix.

On the drive over, Santana thinks about when they became friends with Quinn for the second time.

* * *

Santana and Brittany had snagged valuable seats at the back of the bus far from where the counselors and coaches sat. It was technically an open skill building cheer camp for 5th through 8th grade. But everyone knew it was really a feeder pool for the top high school cheer teams. The coaches stopped in regularly and made notes on the girls' skills and abilities. Coach Sue was the most frequent visitor since her team had camp across the lake. The Cheerios were the team all the girls hoped to make, since they were the reigning national champs 3 years running.

Britt and San were leading the girls in cheers they had learned last year. They weren't the oldest but they were clear frontrunners to take over next year. Right now a Fairbrook princess was the boss, but next year it would be a Santana, Lima HBIC, if she has her way.

Brittany is bouncing in her seat and keeps sliding into Santana, nearly pushing her into the aisle. Finally, Britt winds her arm around Santana's waist to keep her in place.

"You're too little," she teases softly, her lips ghosting Santana's ear.

Santana tugs on Britt's ponytail in retaliation, "Am not. I'm a flyer".

"The best one too," Brittany giggles, reaching down to grab her water bottle.

"Damn straight," San agrees.

"Hells yeah," Britt says squirting the water bottle into her mouth.

"Fo sho," Santana says struggling to keep a straight face.

"Fo shizzle," Britt replies, deadpan.

"Yeppers," Santana agrees.

Brittany laughs, and turns toward her. The water bottle she's still squeezing sending water all over Santana.

"Britt," she yells, jumping back and landing in the aisle.

Santana pouts up at her as Brittany doubles over hysterically laughing. Faces start to turn toward them and Britt quickly hauls her back into the seat, "Sorry," she shrugs.

"Britt," Santana whines, lightly tugging her shirt away from her body.

"At least it wasn't your hair," she offers, pulling her backpack on to her lap.

"Thanks," Santana replies sarcastically.

Brittany continues to dig in her bag and then triumphantly pulls out an extra t-shirt. Santana snatches it but Britt doesn't let go.

"It's going to cost you," she teases.

"Yes fine whatever," Santana agrees tugging on it.

Britt lets go and they switch seats. Santana changes quickly, confident but trying to avoid everyone having too much of a show. Though she's pretty sure that truck was honking at her.

"I want a kiss," she whispers into San's ear.

"What! No, no way, nuh uh," Santana rambles in a panic. This whole kissing thing was new this past year and there was no way she was doing it where everyone could see. "Sorry B, but no".

Britt frowns and then shrugs, "Then I want the candy your mom packed you".

Santana reaches into her bag and pulls out a box of Charleston Chews. She starts to hand them over, "Wait, you spilled on me! Why should I give you my candy?"

"'Cause I gave you a t-shirt?" Britt says reaching for the box.

"Because I'm your best friend," Brittany tries again.

"I'll share," Santana says dragging the phrase out, "Because I'm _your_ best friend".

"Oh thank you Santana, you're so magnamma," Britt replies sarcastically, grabbing the box and tearing it open.

Santana's eyebrows kneed together in thought, "Magnanimous, B" she finally figures out.

"That's what I said," she answers, dumping a handful of the chewy treats into San's hand.

* * *

When they get off the bus, the girls are split into cabins. Lima girls are mixed with girls from surrounding towns so they can "get to know each other" and "become friends" i.e. scope out the competition. Britt's mom put in a request so they get to stay together with 6 other girls and a counselor. They are the red stars, apparently, and are sent to their cabin to meet the rest of their group.

Brittany has both of their big bags, one over each shoulder, and Santana is carrying both backpacks. Britt had claimed Santana was too little and grabbed both bags, then San bet she couldn't carry them all the way. They are the first to enter the cabin and quickly claim top bunks that are right next to each other. Santana reluctantly hands over a bag of Swedish fish after Britt tosses both bags up on the beds. Brittany laughs; pretending to flex and show off her muscles then tears the box open and offers one to Santana.

The cabin door is in the middle of one wall with closets on either side. The sidewalls each have two sets of bunk beds running along the wall. Then the back wall has the counselor's single bed in a curtained area, the bathroom door, and a table in the opposite corner. After dumping their stuff on the beds, debating and forgoing unpacking, they start making their beds, only for it to turn into a pillow fight.

Santana smacks Brittany in the face and Britt pulls back to retaliate before stopping.

"San," she says pointing behind her.

Santana looks wary, thinking this is a trick, and she's going to get hit as soon as she turns around.

"San," she gestures again.

Santana sends her a warning look and turns around.

Three girls are standing in the doorway. Two are whispering and giggling to each other and the third is standing alone. She doesn't look like cheer material. Three other girls walk up and join them stepping inside. An older girl, the counselor she assumes, is running toward them as well. The girls look around to take the remaining beds. Britt and San have retreated to sit on top of B's bed and watch the action.

The first two claim the other top bunks on the opposite wall. The dirty blonde girl takes a bed under Santana. She surprised the girl is brave enough to come over, but maybe she doesn't know better yet. The three younger girls argue a bit and then one dejectedly puts her things under Britt's bed, before returning to stand by the other two.

The counselor, Sabrina, announces that they are supposed to play a name game now. At the loud sighs heard from nearly every girl, she offers to let them just say, "Your name, your age, your town, and your position".

It goes quickly. The three younger girls are going to be in 5th grade. They are from Celina, Ohio. Mackenzie was the only other flyer; probably become she was so tiny, she didn't seem all that bright honestly. Paige was friendly and was the one under Brit's bed. Emma was the boss of their threesome. Emma made it clear that she expected to one day take the place of the current leader of cheer camp. She was a bit too big for her britches and Santana couldn't wait to knock her down a peg.

The other group of three quickly made it known that it was a group of two and another girl. Ava and Harper are going to be in 7th grade and are from Fairbrook. They think they are "all that" because the head Falcon cheerleader is councilor here, Rosalie Fabray, and another girl named Scarlett is head of the girls as a soon to be high schooler. The two girls roll their eyes at the last girl to introduce herself.

She and Britt went first for intros, they play 2nd fiddle to nobody.

"Lucy, 13, Fairbrook, side base," the girl says softly, like she's trying to get by unnoticed.

"'Cause no one could get that thing in the air," Ava snipes, "How someone like that could be related to Rosalie, I'll never know".

Harper laughs, "And speak up, be louder or no one will ever hear your cheers. Though that might be a good thing".

Lucy's face crumbles and Santana catches a glimpse of tears before she races into the bathroom.

The munchkins as Santana's decided to call Mackenzie, Paige, and Emma watch in shock. Sabrina takes the two girls outside to discipline them. Brittany is looking up at her with big, sad eyes.

"No, no drama, we are not getting involved," Santana quickly declares.

Only to be dragged over to the door by the blond.

"Stay there minis," she bites out to the three girls, following Brittany into the bathroom.

There are four sinks, three showers, and three toilet stalls. San is still taking all this in and maybe checking herself out in the mirror when Britt knocks on the stall door.

"Hey," Brittany says, "It's just me and Santana in here. You should come out".

Lucy is sitting on top of the closed toilet lid, her face buried in her hands. She shakes her head then chokes out "no".

Britt tries a few times, serious, sweet, and joking before giving up.

"Open the door now or I'll come in and open it," Santana finally impatiently threatens.

No response and Britt's eager face lead to her shimmying under the door and unlocking it. Brittany immediately steps inside, making the stall way too claustrophobic. Santana scrambles out pulling both girls with her.

"They're just a bunch of mean girls" Brittany shrugs, handing Lucy a tissue.

Santana rolls her eyes, this comforting stuff is taking way too long, this girl is going to need to toughen up. Something else is still bothering Santana anyway, "Lucy Fabray?"

The girl nods, "I know, I look nothing like my sister" she says dryly.

"No," Santana starts "Well yeah".

Brittany shoots her a glare, well the best she can do anyway.

"I mean, that name is so familiar".

Lucy can't decide if it would be better or worse if Santana places her name.

"Well half of it is my sister's," she hedges nervously.

Santana stares her down.

"And we did know each other in kindergarten," she caves.

Santana looks confused.

"Ballet class?" Lucy offers, biting her lip.

Santana's eyes lightened. She was unrecognizable. The baby blonde hair had darkened to a muddy blonde. The baby weight had expanded. The hazel eyes were covered up by thick glasses. But yes, this could be that Lucy. The little girl who gave Santana a taste of everything she thought she'd never have. The one full of giggles, who had seen how poor she was and loved her anyway. The girl who had moved away and lost touch.

Brittany now looks perplexed, "What?"

"We were in dance class with her a million years ago B," Santana answers, "clearly our lessons paid off more than hers did," she didn't like the sappiness this was invoking.

Brittany pushes San lightly in reprimand and turns toward her.

"We were friends?" Britt asks.

Lucy pauses, looks to Santana hesitantly, and then nods.

"Friends are forever," Brittany smiles, hugging Lucy suddenly. Lucy looks surprised, Santana vaguely annoyed.

"We're going to be late because of you," she grumbles, "Let's go".

Santana walks out expecting them to follow.

Brittany quickly whispers, "That's just how she always is" before grabbing Lucy's hand and pulling her along.

Lucy is overwhelmed, _is Santana mad, are they all friends, are they just waiting for the right moment to play a joke on her_… She wonders if Santana's got an attitude because Brittany is the nicest girl she's ever met, and they're always together, so they have to balance each other out.

* * *

Over the next week, Santana seems to tolerate her presence. She lets Lucy be her side base while Britt is the back base in pyramid. Lucy is allowed to sit with them at meals as they all try to down Coach Sylvester's gross shakes. Sue is a big name in the cheer world. She insists that no one eat anything not on her preapproved list, because eventually a minute few would become Cheerios. And her girls needed to be on the meal plan for years before being in preforming condition. It didn't hurt that she was right across the lake and constantly storming over to bully the camp coordinator. The coordinator seemed to be afraid of her, everyone seemed to be. Lucy didn't understand why, but she figured it was because she didn't understand the cheer world yet.

Another week passes; Britt seems to think they are best friends. She would braid Lucy's hair and paint her nails during their downtime. In return, Lucy was her guinea pig for new choreography ideas and rehearsing routines. Santana was pleased because it meant she could just watch Britt and file her nails. Lucy eventually realized it gave her an edge in practice when she knew the routines better than nearly anyone else.

Santana had recently made it clear to Ava and Harper that Lucy was off limits. San still made fun of her mercilessly. But Lucy was _hers_, and she _didn't_ share. The taunts were still muttered in the bathroom and when she was laying in bed, whenever the girls thought Santana couldn't hear. But it was better than before her intervention, and the "accidental" tripping died down too. Lucy had to contend with being called names by Coach Sue whenever she showed up though. Apparently Lucy was her new project. Sue said she was "unaware of how a butterball like her got in. But Lucy wasn't going to sully the name of this camp and cheerleading, so she better get into shape".

Another week, another small improvement… Santana showed Lucy how to apply makeup, after deciding she was hopeless. It was something Rosalie should have taught her, or maybe her mother. Instead, Santana had taken B's makeup and slowly showed her step-by-step. It was the kindest San had been during camp. Lucy was quick to thank Brittany when she had the opportunity. Rosalie hadn't come around at all since camp started. Lucy didn't know why she felt surprised and hurt, she should have expected this. But no acknowledgement at all, not in one just checking in, was more painful than all of the taunts combined.

* * *

This week some kids, her money would be on Ava and Harper, let it slip that at school she was called "Lucy Caboosey". It was during free time and the jeers started immediately. Britt was off making bracelets, firmly ensconced in the itty-bitty 5th graders group. Santana was sunning at the pool. Lucy had waved off both of their offers, she wasn't interested in playing with the little ones, she couldn't handle if they teased her too and she wasn't willing to put on a swimsuit in front of everyone either. So she was sitting on a picnic bench under a tree reading _Water for Elephants_ when the first girls found her.

"Lucy Caboosey." "How proper, you're reading about elephants." and more soon filled her ears. Lucy stood up and pushed back her braids. She grabbed her book and slung her backpack over her shoulders, ready to run back to the cabin. And then it got physical, which it hadn't really before, with girls at least.

A few pushes and Lucy tried running; a wayward foot had her fall down hard. She wasn't sure if they would keep kicking and hunches over in a ball, trying to protect her glasses. A few hesitant kicks, like is this really okay, and a few hard ones hit her ribs and spine, and then just as suddenly stop. Lucy is reluctant to bring down her arms, which are wrapped around her head, to look even after the voices fade away.

Santana is at the pool, enjoying the sun and chewing out people who splash her when she first hears the whispers. At first she debates ignoring them, Lucy's stuff is her own problem. But after a few minutes, she gets up, if only to shut up the guilt gnawing at the stomach.

When she reaches the tree they had planned to meet up at, she's horrified.

Lucy is curled in in the grass and woodchips, her jean shorts and white cotton t-shirt doing little to soften the blows. Her hands are up, around her mud ugly hair, trying to protect her face. Santana is speechless for a brief moment before threatening all the girls in a Lima Heights Adjacent manner. Then she walks over, wishing Brittany were here, she's the comforting one, Santana just fights them. Even that is more for show than anything else; she hasn't been in a real fistfight since she was a little thing in Lima Heights Adjacent, now her words can fight her battles.

Santana reaches out and gently pokes Lucy's soft shoulder.

"Just go away," Lucy whimpers, "Why can't you all just leave me alone?"

She sounds pitiful and broken.

"It's just me Luc," San says softly.

Lucy lets out a sob, "Just please don't start Santana. I can't, not today".

"Lucy, look at me," Santana says with a bit of force.

Lucy's red-rimmed hazel eyes, hidden behind thick-framed glasses, make Santana mad. Lucy is the kindest girl she knows after Brittany and this teasing is getting ridiculous.

"Come on," Santana hisses, her annoyance at the other cheerleaders seeping into her voice.

Lucy recoils at the tone, "I'm fine," she lies, shifting into a sitting position.

"Obviously not," Santana responds offering a hand.

Lucy takes it, careful to balance her weight, so if Santana lets go to trick her, she won't fall.

Santana briskly brushes off the leaves and grass on Lucy's clothes.

Still holding her hand, Santana leads them back to the cabin. She gently pushes Lucy onto her bed and undoes the braids Britt had put in this morning. San stays silent as she untangles them and brushes out her hair, picking out pieces of grass.

"You know they aren't right?" Santana says.

Lucy shrugs.

San pulls all of Lucy's hair up into a ponytail and sighs, "You should go change, your clothes still have dirt on them".

Lucy stays quiet, but does as she's told. Part of it's shock, part of it's not wanting to anger Santana, another part of her aches to be taken care of.

Lucy is coming out of the bathroom in yoga pants and a light blue t-shirt when the cabin door opens. Santana moves between her and the unknown person without even thinking about it.

"Britt," San's face lightens.

But Brittany looks like she's going to cry, "Were they really mean to you?"

Lucy is surprised that she seems to care so much.

"It," she glances at Santana, "It wasn't that bad".

Britt turns her worried face to Santana.

"She's fine," Santana agrees.

The two cover it up to keep Brittany from falling apart.

Britt hugs Lucy tightly, "Good," she declares, her blue eyes filled with tears.

"Can we just forget about this?" Lucy asks, sounding tired.

Britt nods, keeping her arms encircled around the girl.

But Santana shakes her head "You know you don't deserve this right?"

Britt pulls back to look her over, "Not at all".

Lucy turns her head away from them.

"This is my fault," she says looking ashamed

Brittany reaches for her, but Lucy pulls away.

"Did you hit them first? Call them names? Threaten them" Santana asks incredulously, "I really don't care what you did. It wouldn't justify this".

Lucy swallows hard. "But it is. If I was pretty like Rosalie. If I looked like the rest of the girls here…like you two," tears are welling up again and her throat feels constricted.

"You are pretty," Brittany says. And it's so honest, simple, pure, she really believes it so sincerely, that Lucy starts to cry.

Santana is more direct, "If you don't like something, change it".

Lucy frowns, wiping her eyes, "What if there are too many things?" she asks, her voice breaking.

"You just need to start with one," Santana says, "One little easy fix".

Lucy looks at her, biting her lip.

Brittany doesn't look really pleased with the direction this conversation is going but doesn't speak up.

"My hair?" Lucy offers nervously.

Brittany tugs on it gently.

"Let's make your appearance match your inside," Santana smiles, "Blond? Like Britt's? Maybe a shade darker."

Lucy nods and lets a trace of a smile cross her face.

Brittany is clinging to her now in a tight hug, "We'll match!" she declares happily.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading. It'll be an interesting journey to Quinn taking over the leadership position in the trio from Santana. More soon. :)


	7. How to Make You Feel Better

Chapter 7: I think I Know How to Make You Feel Better

* * *

Santana still thinking about camp when she swings by to pick Brittany up around 4:45. Britt quickly leans in to kiss her cheek and Santana's eyes immediately scan the street.

"Hey B," she says relaxing, catching no one around, "I was just thinking about our old cheer camp".

"Go Red Stars," Brittany immediately picks up, "that was fun".

"Remember when we dyed Quinn's hair?" Santana offers up.

Brittany nods, "I wish we still did it, instead of her going to a salon". Brittany's pouting, so Santana reminds her of the first time, hoping to get a smile.

* * *

Lucy isn't sure this is what she wants. It takes a week for Santana to figure out how to get the dye. After elaborate smuggling schemes (dye was not on the approved items list) San scoped out the counselors' hair and stole dye from a pretty blond. After her debacle with Rose and red hair, she's nervous. But the desire to be liked by Britt and San overcomes her fear.

Lucy makes them all read the instructions at least 3 times.

"I got this," Santana finally snaps, "Geez, if you don't want me to do this forget it. Go back to being Lucy Caboosey".

Even Britt knows this is a low blow, "Santana," she admonishes, "Be nice".

Lucy is horrified to find tears filling her eyes and turns away to wipe them with the heel of her hand.

"Tonight," she finally says in a wobbly voice that makes it sound like a question. Maybe Santana really is over this.

Santana just nods, letting guilt flit across her face for just a moment.

Britt smiles "This will be so fun! Totally unicorn."

Lucy isn't sure what that means but manages a small smile.

Santana goes into the bathroom to do her makeup.

After she leaves Britt scoots over toward Lucy, "I know you're still upset. It's just how Santana is, she gets mad but she usually gets over it quickly".

She wraps her arms around Lucy in a gentle hug, "One day everybody is going to want to be you".

"Yeah right," Lucy says sarcastically, "And I'll be the most popular girl in school," she rolls her eyes.

"Yep," Britt responds immediately, ignoring the sarcasm, "At your school anyway. Santana and I are pretty hot, especially Santana, we'll rule McKinley".

Lucy gives her a funny look at the comment and stands up to get ready.

* * *

"I'm so tired," Brittany sighs walking in the cabin door.

"Shower first," Santana declares tugging Britt away from her bed.

"I call 1st shower!" Ava yells.

"Hah, as if," Santana laughs, "We got permanent dibs".

Ava shoots a glare at Lucy, as of this is all her fault.

"You can go before me," she stammers out.

"No!" Santana says forcefully, "Don't let her push you around Lucy".

Lucy doesn't say anything but picks up her things and heads into the bathroom. She knows that she just letting Santana boss her around instead of Ava but she's scarier. Her muscles are aching after a killer practice and all she wants to do is take a nap. Sue has been even nastier to her now that she knows Rosalie is her sister. A "disgrace to her sister and the cheerleading world", when she's around practice is worse than usual. Getting compared to Rose sucks, nothing is ever good enough.

Lucy finishes her shower first and reluctantly re-enters the main area.

"Bitch," Ava mutters, pushing past her as the other girls laugh.

And suddenly Santana is there, "What's going on?" she barks out as they all fall silent.

Santana climbs up on her bunk and pulls out a magazine. Lucy hurries to her bed beneath San and picks up her book.

Tonight is a big group bonfire and the other 5 girls are dressed and giggling when their counselor appears. Lucy and Brittany also have their hair dried but don't move with the group.

"Santana doesn't feel well," Brittany lies.

Lucy nods in agreement and San looks pained.

Technically their counselor is supposed to stay here and send her campers along with another cabin's group, but they were banking on Sabrina wanting to socialize with her friends and schmooze with Rosalie.

"We can stay with her," Lucy cautiously states, trying not to give them away.

"What's wrong?" Sabrina asks.

"I have a stomach ache," Santana moans, curling up on her bunk, her wet hair and makeup free face lending itself to the act.

"You three sure you'll be fine?" Sabrina asks.

The girls all nod eagerly.

At the suspicious look Sabrina gives them, Santana whimpers. Her big dark eyes, pouty lips, and stringy, wet, dark brown hair makes even Lucy feel bad for Santana, though she knows this isn't real. Lucy takes a small step towards her as the group leaves.

Santana sits up so suddenly it surprises her.

San's laughing as she climbs down the ladder, "She totally bought it".

Santana insists that her hair needs to be dried before they can start on Lucy. They also all change into pajamas anticipating the possible mess. Santana's wearing purple satin pajamas shorts and a black tank top, her long hair reluctantly pulled back. She likes to wear it down and flick it around like she's in a shampoo commercial. Brittany's wearing a pink tank top covered in lime green hearts and lime green polka dotted shorts. Lucy has on a light blue nightgown that Santana thinks screams 50s housewife. _Fix the hair then the clothes_ she decides. Lucy insists that they read the instructions once more. And they get busy mixing the dye and applying it to her hair.

* * *

"I want to do the dye," Brittany exclaims eagerly, reaching for the brush.

Lucy's eyes grow wide.

Santana who's looking at the dye dubiously, nods, "You'll need gloves though Britt".

"Why?" Brittany asks, picking them up.

"So it won't dye your hands," San answers.

After Britt claims she wants to do it, Santana is all too happy to stand back and direct. She makes sure Brittany puts gloves on and then backs up and hops onto the counter. San avoids the messy dye and occasionally calls out directions to Brit. The rest of the time is a sort of awkward silence.

Brittany suggests San play music while they wait and she obliges and blasts her playlist. Brittany is singing along and wiggling her hips to the beat.

Santana taps out the rhythm with her nails on the counter and eventually harmonizes with B, "And I'm on tonight, you know my hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel it's right".

Lucy is busy at first watching Britt to make sure the dye is still ending up in the right places as she dances around. During the next song Brittany finishes Lucy's hair and wraps it up.

As she sets the timer, Lucy starts to sing along absentmindedly, "Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you. Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do".

Santana and B fall silent to listen and Lucy promptly stops. She hadn't meant to sing in front of them, in front of anyone, she didn't need to give anyone another target. Singing was kind of fun, but strictly in the secrecy of her bedroom, or softly in the church choir so no one could pick out her individual voice.

Santana breaks the silence, "Keeping secrets, Fabray," she teases, "You can _sing_".

"So can you and Britt," Lucy replies quickly.

"Well duh, but you've heard us sing before, we haven't heard you," Santana counters.

"Sing something else," Brittany requests, pulling the girls out into the main room.

"Like what?" Lucy asks, nervous about making her own song choice, _who knows what they'd think of it_.

Brittany is rooting around in Santana's suitcase and finally triumphantly pulls out Oreos.

"From her latest care package," Britt explains, tearing the package open and offering it to Lucy.

Lucy shakes her head; _remember your goals,_ she tells herself.

Santana grabs two and pops one in her mouth. "Sing," she says through a full mouth, her voice coming out garbled.

Santana swallows, "Sing," she repeats, "whatever song you want".

Honestly Lucy's repertoire is rather limited. What they can listen to and watch at home is closely monitored and hymns, jazz, and classical music are favored. She only knew Christina Aguilera's song because Santana had played it earlier. A few other songs she knew from cheer routines, but that was it.

"Just like go?" Lucy asks hesitantly.

They nod and Santana belts out a few words from "Rehab" as an example.

"Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars. Let me see what spring is like on A-Jupiter and Mars. In other words, hold my hand. In other words, baby, kiss me," Lucy sings before blushing, giggling, and ducking her head.

They just nod at her, _whether that means job well done or is meant to be dismissive_ she isn't sure, and she is too nervous to ask.

A few Oreos and songs later and the timer goes off on Santana's phone. After Lucy has washed out her hair, Santana blow-dries it. Then they insist on getting dressed before showing Lucy her hair so she can have the "full effect".

Lucy tries to revel in the moment. _Who knew if this would ever happen again, if she would ever feel like she had real friends. In a few weeks she'd be back in Fairbrook, alone. Would she be able to maintain the weight loss? Would it matter if she was all alone again? What did a dye job really do? _It was blond and she looked better, but she wouldn't consider herself pretty.

Yet, Brittany is giggling beside her and Santana shoots her a fleeting smile. So Lucy tries to hold on to these feelings instead, because in few weeks that's all she'd have left.

Brittany smiles and dashes away to go grab sodas.

Left alone with Santana, Lucy avoids eye contact.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Santana says gently, touching her shoulder.

Lucy shrugs, "I guess I don't feel as different as I hoped". She waits to be told, "give it time" or "you look great".

But instead Santana says, "How about a hair cut?"

If Lucy looked nervous about the hair dye she looked positively frightened about this idea.

"I promise I know what I'm doing," Santana says confidently.

Lucy looks at the girl who appears to have gone to high-end salons all her life. But she knows that there is more than meets the eye to most people, especially to Santana.

"My grandmother was a hair dresser," Santana finally says with a shrug, playing it off cool, though the slightest blush to her cheeks gives her away.

Lucy nods, "Not too much though".

Brittany clearly overheard because she brings back scissors and drinks.

"She brought them to cut my bangs, snuggled them in," Brittany says, holding them out to San.

"Smuggled," Santana corrects absentmindedly.

She mists the hair lightly before cutting it, grumbling that she's going to have to re-dry it. Santana takes off an inch and gives her long layers and side bangs. Then Britt curls it. Lucy is nervous with B handling the curling iron, her fear ratcheting up when they insist she face away from the mirror.

When she finally sees herself, Santana teases, "Lookin' good Fabray."

Britt nods in approval and takes a slurp of her Sprite, "Pretty".

And for a brief second she feels it, believes it, Lucy Quinn Fabray is _pretty_.

Then her eyes move from her blond hair to her round face, chubby cheeks that hide her cheekbones, a hideous nose, thick black glasses, acne that she was praying would clear up, and a body that was skinnier than before but not at all like the other girls.

Lucy forces her eyes back to her hair. It's a bright, caramel blonde, prettier than Rose's white blonde. Swoopy side bangs, pretty layers that give movement and volume, it's her perfect thing. A promise of things that might come...

As they drink the sodas, Lucy turns away from the mirror.

"We could still probably make the bonfire," Santana says.

Lucy's eyes shift to Brittany who nods eagerly.

Britt shoves on her shoes and grabs a sweatshirt throwing jackets at the girls. Brittany grabs a pack of Chips Ahoy and stuffs one into her mouth, "S'mores" she says in a muffled voice.

Santana tugs on the jacket and slides into her shoes.

"Coming?" she asks Lucy.

Lucy comes out of her daze and nods quickly getting ready. Brittany is out the door, still clutching her cookies.

"Britt's lucky, her metabolism and constant dance practice means she can eat whatever she wants," Santana says as they walk out, shoving her hands in the front pocket of her grey sweatshirt and tugging her red Soffe shorts down a bit.

Lucy nods, still in shock that they invited her along. Santana never excludes her, but she doesn't go out of her way to include her either.

* * *

Santana slings her arm around Lucy's shoulder as they walk down the path.

Britt's wearing grey Soffe shorts that show off her long legs and a pale turquoise blue zip up hoodie. Lucy has on black yoga pants and a light purple jacket that is too large on her now after the weight she's lost.

Brittany had been twirling in front of them, showing off her turns. But she quickly runs back and wraps her arm around Lucy on the other side. They are laughing and joking stepping together in a silly dance. San and Britt squeeze her between them gently in a hug, and for a brief moment, she feels it again, _pretty_, bubbling up inside happiness, hope.

* * *

A/N: Please let me know if you're reading, what you think, if there are any flashbacks you'd like to see, and so on. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed.


	8. The Trinity Gets Its Name

**Chapter 8: The Trinity Gets Its Name**

* * *

As they pull into the parking lot in Santana's black BMW, Quinn is just getting out of her red Mercedes. Their daddies give nice presents, both compensating for something.

Quinn waves and hesitates before stopping to wait for them. Brittany jumps out and engulfs her in a hug. San merely nods at her. Quinn nods back and lets Brittany tug her along into the restaurant.

They sit in a booth, Brittany and Santana side by side, Quinn across from them. Britt orders spaghetti with meatballs; she wants to convince San to roll one with her nose a la Lady and the Tramp. Afterwards, she scrutinizes Quinn and Santana.

She thinks it's odd that Santana is the natural boss of their threesome, but Quinn is in charge when they're in public. It doesn't really matter to her; she doesn't want to be in command. That takes too much scheming and work; she'd rather hang out with Mr. Tubbington and convince him not to smoke. Santana is a bad influence on him, and Britt's trying to get Tubbs to be a better influence on her.

"Penny for your thoughts, B," Quinn says softly.

Britt jumps a bit, apparently the waiter left. She "looks" for the penny then stares at Q perplexed. Quinn is ready to laugh off the reaction as a Brittany-ism, but Santana understands her.

"I don't see a penny Quinn," San says mock-seriously, "and don't you think she's worth at least a quarter".

Quinn gets all huffy and flustered, "It's an expression, not a literal…" Then she catches the girls making faces at each other. "You were teasing," she sighs.

"It's just so easy," Santana laughs.

Britt giggles too but reaches out to squeeze her shoulder reassuringly. She thinks sometimes Santana forgets that so much of Quinn is a façade. She's still just a scared, neglected little girl inside.

"Cheerios," Brittany answers.

Santana wonders how odd it is that they now think of cheerleading before the cereal.

"Why? There's no practice tomorrow," she says.

_Coach Sue used to hold practice seven days a week. Time off meant laziness, laziness meant bad routines, bad routines led to losers, and she was in the business of making national champions, __**not**__ losers. But Quinn was head Cheerio and Christian, and on Sundays being Christian won out. She told coach she couldn't practice Sunday mornings. Sue threatened her and punished her with extra laps but Quinn continued to skip practice. Sue needed her; there were no other viable candidates for captain. Santana was too stubborn and headstrong; Sue was trying to set up a __**legacy**__. It made the coach look bad when the girls arrived to find their head Cheerio was off at church instead of creating new routines. After the first time she misses practice, Mrs. Lopez finds out and tells Santana since cheer clearly isn't mandatory she better be in church next Sunday. With that more girls drop out of attendance to go to church or just don't come knowing the "bosses" won't be there. Sue won't have her authority undermined. She gives Quinn, Santana, and a few other girls 40 laps next practice and tasks them with detailing her car. But Saturday morning, she calmly announces that she will see them all on Monday. And that's that, no more Sunday cheer practice. _

"Because it's more fun to think about than celibacy club. That's kind of boring. No offense, Quinn," Brittany shrugs.

_Quinn is forced into leading celibacy club after her parents bring up the idea during a meeting with the principal freshman year. She had been made student of the month and he wanted to congratulate them personally. Her parents were all forced smiles and "so prouds" hiding the fact that this was a waste of time, not an accomplishment they'd cherish by any means. On the way in they had passed Puck. He was probably getting detention again and had called out "Hey pretty woman, wanna come over tonight?" wiggling his eyebrows. It was tame for Puck, actually, Quinn decides. But her parents flip, "Stay away from him young lady" and "He's no good for someone like you". So now they have a celibacy club and she's president. _

_Thankfully she has the popularity to pull the Cheerios in and with them come their boyfriends, boy toys, hookups, whatever from the football team. Quinn has kissed Finn by now, but that's it. She's glad to have an excuse to stop him from going further. And unlike basically everyone else in the club, she does believe what she preaches, sex after marriage. _

_She knows the other Cheerios don't follow the rules exactly. Some do, out of fear she'd find out. Others know it's okay as long as it stays a secret, hush hush. Santana flaunts it boldly. She does Puck and anyone else she wants, Quinn can stay out of it__** thank you very much**__. And she does. Because Santana has a pull over her, more power than she'd ever admit at this point. And because deep down she knows part of this is to forget about the fact that San and Brittany can't. Can't have the open relationship in front of the school, the loud couple's spats, the obnoxious make out sessions, the dinner at 8s, the sex that she can have with Puck or her other guy of the week. _

_Brittany doesn't stay celibate either, she has her share of one-night stands from parties that go too late, girls, guys, it doesn't matter to her. Her longest relationship is with Mike Chang a brief fling that lasts a few weeks and then dies down without any drama. _

_Quinn remembers her mantra, Jesus, teasing not pleasing, wait for marriage. She can't hide her relief when she realizes this helps hide her secret. She's an ice queen with self control, not the scared little girl who doesn't know what to do, where to put her hands, how to French kiss, how to make him love her, how to avoid getting hurt. _

Quinn just shrugs in reply, "It's important. But I have more fun at cheer practice too".

The breadsticks arrive and Santana promptly takes three of the five sticks they brought and sets one on her plate. She alternates bites from the others, one in each hand.

Brittany is laughing at Santana indulgently, and takes one breadstick offering the remaining one to Quinn.

Quinn takes it and nibbles on it a bit. This is awkward, whether it's because it's a day off schedule or her, her "condition", she isn't sure.

Santana playfully pushes Brittany and takes the marinara sauce she's been hoarding.

Quinn takes a sip of her water.

"What's up?" Santana asks, staring at her.

How did she miss when they stopped fooling around?

"Nothing," she quickly responds.

Santana just points to her hand.

It's currently cradling her cross and gently sliding it back and forth. Quinn wasn't even aware of it. It's her tell, she knows, that she's nervous. She drops her hand and picks up her breadstick again.

"Nothing Santana," she says taking a large bite.

_She wears a cross around her neck; it's as much a part of her as the red Cheerios uniform, the high regulation pony, the white tennis shoes. She has worn it since she was seven. It was a present from her parents for her first communion. They had given it to her as a reminder to follow God's commandments. It reminds her of how proud they had been that day, one of the few times in her childhood she can remember her father smiling at her. It reminds her of her love for God, the one thing that hasn't changed after this mess was made public; she knows her faith is still there for her. It is also a status marker making her a cut above the other students. She is chaste, keeps her vows, and stops the boys before they go to far, just a kiss that leaves them wanting more. And all the boys want to be the one to make her break that vow. _

_The cross reminds her to pray for her little one to end up happy, no matter what that looks like. It reminds her that this isn't just about her anymore. She can't try to keep herself safe and happy, as far away from her childhood memories as possible. She's looking out for another human being. The baby's happiness, its childhood, its home, its life matter more. So she prays. _

Santana sighs in a _fine be that way_ fashion. Brittany can feel the tension and is relieved when she sees their food arriving.

"Let's do Lady and the Tramp," she begs staring at Santana with puppy dog eyes.

Santana will do many things for Britt but this isn't one of them, "No way, I'm not getting sauce in my hair".

Britt turns to Quinn who gently says, "I don't think so B".

Brittany frowns momentarily, and then slurps a noodle loudly. They move on to easier topics, gossip, boys, cheer routines. They have scoped out this year's competition, reading files and watching practice videos, and it looks like another victory to them.

_Sue has been watching the girls she's picking for this year's squad since they were toddlers. She amasses huge amounts of information on potential Cheerios, through legal and not so legal means. So when she's filling in new spaces and kicking off a few lazy cheerleaders to be replaced, she knows who each girl stepping forward is. Of course, she doesn't let them know that. _

"_Santana Lopez," San announces boldly. And Sue knows she was born a tiny baby 6oz even, that she's a firecracker with a loud mouth, that she is considered one of the hottest girls in school, she has a new boyfriend each week, and she can tumble better than anyone Sue's come across in years. _

"_Brittany Pierce," Britt says happily. The middle child in a family of all girls, flexible, versed in multiple dance disciplines, grades that border on horrendous, barely passing Cs, very friendly, a bit out there, and when she dances no one can take their eyes off of her. _

"_Quinn Fabray," Quinn says strongly, even as her face pales. This one took some more digging. The girl isn't from Lima, wasn't even on Sue's radar until last summer. And Sue monitors potential Cheerios from other districts as well. Her older sister, Rosalie, made captain as a sophomore. Quinn's past yearbook photos leave something to be desired looks wise, but she fits as a Cheerio now, she's determined, wants desperately to fit in, to matter, straight A student, and she can hold her splits. Something about Quinn, her need for power and popularity and the lengths she'd go to in order to get it, though it wasn't something that came naturally, reminds Sue of a younger version of herself. _

_The three girls make it in along with two others. Sue isn't surprised to see that the three seem to stick together; they seem to be kind of friends, and as the best in her squad naturally group together. What surprises her is how quickly Quinn adapts to being the ruthless Cheerio she needs to be while Santana takes a bit longer to unleash her claws. Sue wonders if Brittany has anything to do with this. As a result Quinn ends up positioned at the top of the freshman class's popularity rankings, Santana one step behind. She didn't expect Quinn to rule their group of three, especially knowing about last summer. But the student body had decided and even the threesome deferred to their opinion. _

When they walk out, Santana with 2 carryout containers of breadsticks, Quinn promises to drive right over.

"See you soon, Quinny," Brittany laughs.

"I hate that nickname," she complains.

"Quinny," Santana teases, dragging the name out.

"Stop or I won't make cookies," she threatens, glaring at them.

It's kind of playful but a bit serious.

Brittany wants the promised cookies and stays quiet. Santana opens her mouth, looks at Brittany, elbow poised to hit her, and shuts her mouth.

_Sue had a gift for nicknames. Freshman year, after they've won sectionals and she's decided Quinn, Santana, and Brittany are going to bring her 4 national championship trophies, she gives them theirs. They already have individual nicknames, Q being the kindest. But it's the girls together that will be winning, and it is them that will be her crowning jewels. Plus saying three names takes valuable time she could spend yelling at the weaker links. Three girls, triplets, trio, musketeers, peas in a pod, pigs, stooges… She thinks of Quinn, the cross dangling from her neck, the cancelled Sunday practices, celibacy club…the Trinity._

Baking cookies takes no time. Santana has the recipe and helps Brittany measure everything out. Quinn scoops identical little balls and sets the timer.

"Maybe the timer is the problem," Santana says looking at Brittany, "we either forget to set it or get distracted".

"Or that your dough is all different shapes and sizes," Britt says sticking her tongue out, "It doesn't matter, clearly Quinn is the superior cookie maker".

Quinn nods, "Thank you, thank you," she says pretending to bow graciously.

Warm cookies, a glass of milk, 50 First Dates in the dvd player, Britt and Q overruling Santana, and the three girls cuddled up on the couch. This is how they do a sleepover.

_The name catches on rather quickly. They became the Trinity, dubbed so by Sue. It was the students who added Unholy. _


	9. Is This How It Always Goes?

**Chapter Nine: Is This How It Always Goes?**

* * *

"What if I forgot you guys?" Brittany asks as the movie comes to an end. She's sprawled out on the couch, her head in Santana's lap and her feet in Quinn's.

"You won't. I'm unforgettable," Santana teases, posing dramatically. Britt looks up at her, and Santana quickly runs her fingers through B's hair.

Brittany still looks a bit concerned.

"We'd visit you everyday and remind you," Quinn reassures her.

Britt smiles and sits up, launching herself sideways to hug Q.

"B," Santana frowns, having been pushed in her excitement.

"Sorry," Brittany says curling so that she's basically on Quinn's lap.

Santana is sending her daggers so Quinn lightly pushes her off and into the middle cushion of the couch.

Brittany pouts and cuddles up to Santana instead. Because it's only Quinn, San doesn't push her away.

Quinn gathers up their bowls, plates, and cups to put in the dishwasher.

"God, you can just leave it there, Fabray," Santana rolls her eyes.

_Here it goes_, Quinn thinks. _It was nice and peaceful during the movie. They laughed and made faces at each other, but it never seems to last_.

"Not everyone lives in a pig pen, Lopez," she snipes back, annoyed that San would whine about her cleaning up and mention the Lord's name in vain.

"Not everyone was a pig once," Santana hisses back.

Quinn cringes at that one, _at least she keeps the low blows coming only in private_.

"Not everyone lived in a place worse than a barn," she replies back furiously.

Santana looks shocked that she brought it up.

_It's been nearly 10 years of keeping her secrets, and all it does is get her pushed around. Let's reminder her who the HBIC is_.

Santana doesn't hesitate to jump on Quinn, her hands clutching tight to her shoulders, "Shut up before you say something you'll regret".

"Get off of me," Quinn shrieks, the pain had faded but now it hurts a lot, "Don't you think your mistress should know about your past".

Santana slaps her without blinking, "Don't you ever say that word again, referring to Brittany".

Quinn has the decency to flush, but replies, "There are much worse words I could use".

"Bitch," Santana snaps, "There are worse words than that that I could use to describe you too".

Brittany has been sitting there silently, kind of confused at how quickly their fights always seemed to escalate. She'd gotten distracted when Quinn said "mistress". Britt has plenty of boy and girl partners, but she thought she was Santana's only lady friend. The only one she'd step out on Puck with. And she knows all of Santana's secrets.

"Oh yeah," Quinn replies full of false bravado, shoving Santana off of her.

"Yeah, bitch, stuck up princess, virgin Quinn, liar, butterball, fatso, tubbers, chunky, wide load, whale, Lucy Caboosey," Santana rattles off.

She's not even thinking as she says them and is stunned when Quinn slaps her back.

"Shut up," Quinn says harshly, her throat thickening with tears.

"Stop the violence!" Brittany interjects finally. They both have been slapped, insults traded, and it's time to end it. It was fair and she thinks they like to let off steam by yelling at each other, but now it was going too far.

Both girls look at her and immediately stop. Quinn snuggles into one corner of the couch and covers her face with her hands. Santana pulls back and sits in the opposite corner.

The dishes have tumbled onto the floor at some point during the fight. Brittany picks them up and stacks them, setting them on a side table. Then she sits back in between the two girls.

Quinn's shoulders are shaking as she tries to avoid crying. Santana is still pissed and is clenching and unclenching her hands in fists. Brittany sighs, tired of always being the referee, and turns on the TV, flicking through the channels.

Quinn is trying to breath through her nose, her perfect nose job nose. _She's not that girl anymore. She's Quinn Fabray, not Lucy. Those names shouldn't hurt. It isn't her. She's changed._ A tear falls. She's changed, but only physically, emotionally _she feels like she's eight, eleven, fourteen, ugly_.

Santana is staring resolutely at the TV, a documentary on pandas that Britt settled on. Brittany is tracing small circles on her knee and either watching intently or resolutely ignoring them. San is trying to focus, but when Quinn lets out a sob, she can't help but turn toward her.

"Q," she says softly.

Quinn picks her head up from her hands and takes a shaky breath.

They go at it all the time. Usually they get mad, fight with words, an occasional slap, and then get over it. They aren't usually this mean, she isn't usually left crying.

Santana sighs, "B, will you get us glasses of water".

Brittany nods and gracefully unfolds herself to rise from the couch. She hates when they fight, hates that she can't fix it.

Santana slides over, "You just got too personal," she defends.

Quinn shakes her head, tears still falling, "You, you started it," she chokes out.

Santana makes a face, "No you did. You know Brittany doesn't know I ever lived in Lima Heights".

"She's going to figure it out, she's smarter than you think," Quinn says flatly.

"She's the smartest person I've ever met," Santana says incensed, "You're the one who called her a mistress".

"You're not exactly subtle S," Quinn frowns, wiping away the last of her tears.

Santana catches her drift and immediately threatens, "Don't you ever tell anyone" in a panic.

Quinn sighs, "I won't. I promise".

Santana looks at her warily.

"Really. I get that it's a big deal. Especially in Ohio of all places. Your secret's safe with me San," she says honestly.

Relief floods her face, "I thought so. But I also never thought you'd throw Lima Heights in my face".

"Well I never thought you'd throw Lucy in mine," Quinn says starting to get choked up again.

Santana looks remorseful.

"I, I thought you were my, my friend," Quinn dissolves into tears again.

Santana briefly wonders if this is part of the pregnancy hormones, before tugging Quinn into her arms.

"I am, dummy," she says, her voice full of affection.

Brittany had watched the clock and given them five minutes, before re-entering hoping they hadn't killed each other. She sets the glasses on the coffee table and sits on the couch, crawling so she's pressed against Santana.

"We're the unholy trinity," Brittany says, reaching to hug Quinn too, "We will always be friends".

Quinn wants to believe them so badly, so desperately. She snuggles further into Santana's shoulder and sniffles.

"BFFs forever," Santana says sincerely, trying not to think about how sappy this is getting.

"5ever," Brittany laughs, squeezing them tighter.

Quinn is so, so sick of crying. She's done more of it in the last week than the past 2 years.

"6ever," she says softly, reaching to play with the ends of Santana's hair.

"7ever," Britt giggles, prodding Santana in her ribs.

Santana squirms away from the tickling sensation and replies how B wants, "8ever".

"9ever," Quinn smiles, not to be outdone.

Quinn falls asleep sometime in during their counting, around 53ever. She's snug in their arms confident that at least for today she has friends.

Q wakes up around 11:40, wrapped securely in a blanket but alone on the couch. It's hot so she takes off her cardigan. She rubs her eyes sleepily and debates getting up to look for them or changing into her pajamas.

* * *

"_Shhhh," Santana reprimands, "She's going to hear us". _

"_She's asleep," Brittany shrugs, tugging Santana toward the bedroom. _

"_Maybe we should just stay with h…" Santana starts, her voice drifting off as B kisses her neck. _

_Santana yanks her into the bedroom, kicks the door closed, and kisses her back. _

"_You were saying," Britt teases, leaning in close._

"_You're right. You're always right," Santana rambles, tugging off her shirt in one smooth motion. _

* * *

Quinn is tired. This is how it always is. Sometimes she wakes up, sometimes she doesn't but she's certain they leave her every time. She supposes she should be glad that they even leave the room. But in the dark she doesn't feel relieved, she just feels lonely.

"Shhhhh, shhhh," Brittany shushes as they clomp back down the hallway with all the grace of two elephants.

Quinn hesitates torn between pretending to be asleep and greeting them.

"Shhhh, shhhh," Santana mimics, laughing and sliding on the wood floors in her socks.

The decision is made for her when they suddenly appear, clutching a flashlight and shinning it in her eyes. Quinn yelps in surprise and quickly turns away. "Turn it off," she demands grumpily.

"Chill out Q," Santana says grabbing the flashlight from B and flicking it off.

"Sorry Quinn," Brittany apologizes.

"It's fine," Quinn replies a bit exasperated.

"We were getting a glass of water," Brittany says, repeating the story they'd worked out.

Quinn could so easily turn this around. Make a snide remark about how they sure seem to drink a lot every sleep over. Embarrass Santana and put an end to their escapades, at least while she's around, at least for a month. But she doesn't. She doesn't feel like the HBIC that would be required to chaste them. Quinn bites her lip and flips over away from them to face the couch's back.

Brittany and Santana exchange looks. _Last time they got a full on lecture_ when she was awakened as they returned. _Now nothing?_

Santana grabs her blankets off the couch she was sleeping on and instead lays down next to B on the floor. She pauses to let Quinn respond, then snuggles up with Britt.

"Is she mad?" Brittany whispers worriedly.

"I don't think so, B" Santana answers, quickly kissing Britt's cheek in the cover of darkness.

"Sad?" Brittany guesses again.

"Maybe?" Santana shrugs, she doesn't know, "Let's just go to bed Britt".

"We can't. Not if Quinn's upset!" Brittany pouts.

"I can hear you," Quinn says from above, tired of them talking like she wasn't there.

"Go to bed. We have to be up early for church tomorrow anyway S," Quinn sighs.

"What about the pancakes?" B whispers.

Santana shrugs, "Ask her".

"What about the pan," Brittany starts.

"I repeat, I can hear you two whispering. I'll make pancakes before we go. But that means we need to get up early. So good night," Q says a bit crossly.

Santana scrambles to sit up and lightly pounces on Quinn. "Good night," she teases, peppering her face with kisses just to annoy her.

"I want in," Brittany whines, getting up to join them.

It's dark but slightly visible due to the hall light San left on. She'd say it's in case any of them need to go to the bathroom, but everyone knows it's really for B who is still a bit scared of the dark. Quinn turns toward Brittany and her blanket slips off her shoulders.

"Q," Britt yelps horrified.


	10. Lucy in the Sky

**Chapter Ten: Lucy in the Sky**

* * *

Quinn looks at her worriedly, while Santana stares at Quinn in concern.

"What?" Quinn asks, "What's wrong?"

Brittany points to her upper arm.

Santana gently tugs her until she can see it.

Light bruising covers her arms from her elbows up to her shoulders.

Britt pulls on the blanket and reveals matching fingerprint bruises on her other arm.

Santana looks appalled, "I, I'm so sorry Q. I didn't realize I was holding on so tight. Why didn't you say something? I would never, I mean. God, I'm just so sorry Queeny".

Quinn knows Santana is truly upset when she uses "queeny". San refrains from using that term of endearment unless she is particularly sweet or worried. Like when Quinn got bronchitis last year or when they walked into high school for the first time.

Brittany is openly crying now and ignores Santana's attempt to calm her down.

Quinn needs to make a decision. If she says its Santana's fault she could break their friendship beyond repair. She could ruin San and Britt's relationship too. But if she 'fesses up and tells the truth, she isn't positive they could keep their mouths shut, that they wouldn't try to force her into reporting it.

"Quinn, please say something," Santana begs, "I didn't mean to. I was mad but I'd never hurt you on purpose, not like that. I'm sorry".

Quinn starts to cry and cuddles up until she's basically sitting in Santana's lap. Luckily Britt isn't quite so territorial.

"I'm sorry," Santana just keeps repeating, lightly rubbing Quinn's back.

Brittany is making a face as close to a glare as Quinn has ever seen from her. It's watching Santana's face break in response that seals her decision.

"It's not your fault," Quinn whispers.

The girls glue their eyes to her.

"I, thanks, I know it is but I'm hoping you'll forgive me," San mumbles.

"No," Quinn says a bit more forcefully, "You didn't do this at all".

Santana pulls away from her looking stunned.

"What?" Britt asks in confusion.

Santana hushes her, "Who is hurting you Q?"

Quinn is shaking, "No one, I fell, it's not your fault".

"Quinn, those are fingerprints," Santana sighs impatiently, "We can't help you if you won't tell us who it is".

"I can't," Quinn claims curling into a ball.

Santana rakes her memory, thinking of every bruise, pulled muscle, strained ligament, how many fit with Cheerios, how many don't.

Meanwhile, Brittany has curled around Quinn, wrapping her arms around her loosely so Q doesn't get claustrophobic.

_Who fits the bill?_ Santana wonders. _Quinn doesn't spend much time around people outside of Cheerios. There's a boy she teaches Sunday school with, Puck, Finn, she doesn't have any girl friends besides them, a teacher?_

"Just nod or shake your head, ok?" Santana offers.

Quinn doesn't respond so she begins.

"Aaron," she says picturing the blond co-teacher. Quinn wanted them to teach together but Santana couldn't stand the little ones. _This could be all her fault._

Quinn shakes her head. Or not.

"Puck," Santana says hesitantly. She can't picture the boy she grew up with doing this. _He's probably her best friend after Brittany and a damn good lay, but if he hurt her…He's the baby daddy and knowing his own father's issues…_

Quinn shakes her head again. Relief.

"A teacher," Santana says. She's picturing their creepy science teacher who always gave her weird vibes. _She'd forbidden Britt from meeting with him one on one. But Quinn never needed help in class._

Quinn shakes her head yet again.

"Finn," Santana states getting angry. _He's a big, dumb oaf. But he is big, much taller and stronger than Quinn. He acts dopey and sweet but maybe he had underlying temper issues. She'd get her cousins to tear him limb from limb._

"No," Quinn says softer than softly.

Santana frowns, she's running out of people.

Britt bites her lip, "Your dad?" she asks.

Santana watches Quinn stiffen and knows they've got it right.

Britt gives her a look that means she'd explain her guess later.

Santana pictures Mr. Fabray. He's jolly in a fake, parental way. He wears sweaters and button down shirts. He looks like he did in college, down to the hair cut, plus a few pounds. They don't go over to Quinn's often. Her house is nice, but it feels like a museum. Santana has the wayward parents that are never present while Quinn's hover. He seemed strict to her, controlling, religious, bossy, and she knows he gets in Q's head. But he never seemed like the type to do more than yell, demand Quinn go to confession, send her to her room, or ground her forever.

Quinn struggles to sit up and Brittany reluctantly drops her arms.

"Oh Queeny," Santana sighs, reaching out to tuck a stray hair behind Quinn's ear.

She flinches.

Santana immediately pulls away from Quinn's face and at the same time, one hand fumbles for Brittany. A harsh tug sends Brittany tumbling off the couch and scrambling to her side. Britt sits on her lap, positively squishing her, so they can leave Quinn on the middle cushion with some space.

Quinn takes a deep breath, "That's why I couldn't tell you. Look at your faces, the pity. I'm already a, a".

"Pregnant teenager," she finally spits out, "I can't deal with anything else".

"Quinn, you can stay here," Santana offers rapidly, "I'll come up with something to tell my mom, if you aren't ready for the truth yet".

Britt nods in agreement, "My house is open too".

Quinn winces when Britt shifts and bumps her bruises.

"You two are crazy. I'm going to church tomorrow and then I'm going home," she declares.

"What? You can't!" Brittany and Santana exclaim in unison.

"Good night," Quinn says in her bossy, this isn't up for discussion voice, attempting to shove them off the couch.

"No way Fabray. You can't tell us this and expect us to pretend like nothing happened," Santana asserts, wrapping her arms tighter around Brittany who is shivering in her lap.

"I over reacted," Quinn says flatly, "I swear this is the second time he's done this. It's my fault anyway".

Santana feels like they are back in summer camp, when she tried to make Quinn see that no one had the right to hurt her.

"I got a B- on my math test last spring. I had Cheerios and Finn and, no, no excuses. I screwed up. I'm never going to get into a good college and get out of here if I let my grades drop. Straight As you know. It's my fault. I should have studied more. He was just looking out for me. It was one slap. You and I do that all the time," Quinn rambles.

Santana pauses, maybe they were flipping out for no reason. She used to get swatted on the butt for misbehaving as a child. Whose to say this is different? And two times is a lot less then she'd feared at first. She has a feeling Russell's slap wasn't quick like the stinging ones they traded, probably bruised her cheek. That made it different. That made it not okay. He was an adult. Santana lowers her eyes to Quinn's flat stomach, a slap last time, fingerprint bruises this time, what if next time it's worse.

"Santana please," Quinn begs, teary eyed and sniffling.

She must have zoned out for a moment.

"Why does he say he did it this time?" Brittany whispers, her thumb crazy close to in her mouth. It took years to break her of that habit as a child.

Quinn flips her hair back over her shoulders, "He saw me with Puck. God it was so stupid. They've told me to stay away from him since freshman year. That he was nothing but trouble. They were right," she says gesturing to her stomach.

"I should have listened to them. Puck wanted to know how the baby was doing. I figured I owed him that much, considering I'm claiming Finn's the father. But he saw me, he was so mad. Probably worried I'd screw up the chastity ball. Too late for that. He grabbed me hard to pull me away from him and into the car. Said it was lucky he was on his way to the church and saw me. He grabbed my arms and shook me once when we got out of the car. Said he never wanted to see me with Puck again or I'd be grounded until I graduated. He was so, so mad. His face was bright red, I'd never seen him that angry. Then he told me to get out of this sight and walked away. So I got ready to meet you for dinner and hid out in my room. It's my fault. It happened and it won't happen again, no big deal," she plays it off.

Quinn is being honest. _It's happened twice and it was her fault. She doesn't expect it to happen again, she'll do better, she'll be better_. But she's faking the nonchalance; _it had scared her, both times. She hadn't realized he was capable of that kind of rage, figures that she'd be the one to bring it out in him._

Quinn's shivering again and this time she allows Brittany to drape the blanket over her.

Santana is still curiously quiet. Quinn can't have this get out. It would hurt her father's, hers, her family's reputation. She needs all the juice and fear she can get out of the student body to keep her position. Pity won't help.

"Don't forget," she says softly, "I have secrets you don't want known either". It's a light threat, subtle, yet San nods in recognition.

"Bedtime B," she says, "If you still want Quinn to make those pancakes".

Brittany kisses her cheek and waits for Quinn to say it's okay, good night, before slipping back onto the floor.

Quinn steels herself for Santana leaving too, for being left alone with memories from today that won't settle.

Santana looks longingly at Britt on the floor before catching Quinn's blank eyes.

"I'm gonna stay comfy on the couch tonight Britt," she calls out.

Brittany nods and stretches out.

Santana is gently shifting her legs over and settling in behind her.

Part of Quinn wants to push her away or roll off the couch and move to the other one. But a bigger part scoots over to make room, clutches Santana's hand, and tries not to cry again.

* * *

So quietly she doesn't even know if Brittany can hear, Santana starts to sing, "Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes".

Quinn smiles and settles her head on Santana's shoulder.

"Cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over your head. Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone" San continues, stroking Quinn's hair.

Quinn giggles, "Are you singing me the Beatles?"

"Not you. Shhhh, close your eyes. I'm singing for whoever is listening," Santana teases.

Quinn does as she's told, relaxing, as she can hear Brittany's level breathing. And Santana continuing, "Lucy in the sky with diamonds, Lucy in the sky with diamonds, Lucy in the sky with diamonds, ah".

"Not for me, huh?" she quips nudging Santana in the ribs.

San moves to retaliate then pauses considering her bruises.

Quinn lets out an involuntary whimper at the break in routine.

"Not for you. Not one bit. Not at all. This song is about a girl named Lucy. You know perfectly well yours is Quinn," Santana jokes.

Quinn, top of the school, captain of the Cheerios and HBIC, she's struggled so hard to get to this point. But for some reason she doesn't mind being Lucy, to them, for this brief moment.

Santana finishes the song, "That was for all the Lucys out there".

"Because my best friend Quinn Fabray is so jealous of Lucy, this one is dedicated to her," Santana says, "See I can be nice," sticking out her tongue.

"Your face will freeze like that," Quinn declares, once she's sure Britt is asleep and won't be horrified at the statement.

"Will not," San argues.

"Will too. I want my song puh-lease," Quinn whines.

Santana digs deep into her music arsenal for part of a Bob Dylan tune, "But when Quinn the Eskimo get here everybody's gonna jump for joy. Oh come all without, come all within. You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn. Come all without, come all within. You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn."

Quinn smiles at her and Santana switches songs, "Now all you ever do is being dreamy - Teenage Queenie. Teenage Queenie, you're lost every night and your Mammy worried, your Daddy's uptight. Teenage Queenie you still gotta grow 'cause if you wanny be free it's a long time to go".

Quinn shrugs at that one, torn between loving that it said Queeny and cross that it brought up parents, "Next".

"Am I your personal jutebox?" Santana laughs, "You've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me. When the road looks rough ahead and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed. You just remember what your old pal said Boy you've got a friend in me. Yeah you've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me. You got troubles and I got 'em too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We stick together, we can see it through 'cause you've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me."

"We are going through the years," Santana declares, "That was elementary school".

"Middle school" Quinn offers, "We sign our cards and letters BFF. You've got a million ways to make me laugh. You're lookin' out for me; you've got my back. It's so good to have you around.

You know the secrets I could never tell and when I'm quiet you break through my shell. Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell 'cause you keep my feet on the ground.

You're a true friend. You're here till the end. You pull me aside when something ain't right, talk with me now and into the night 'til it's alright again. You're a true friend".

Santana nods and smiles, "Nice Hannah Montana throw back. Now, graduation… As we go on we remember all the times we had together. And as our lives change come whatever we will still be Friends Forever".

She stops after singing the chorus, there is only so much sappy, cringe worthy music they can take. Quinn can't stop laughing.

"And finally, one for the Swiftie who just won't admit it," Quinn declares, yawning.

"Friday night beneath the stars in a field behind your yard you and I are painting pictures in the sky. And sometimes we don't say a thing, just listen to the crickets sing. Everything I need is right here by my side and I know everything about you. I don't wanna live without you" Quinn begins.

Santana takes over, " I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do. Well, you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you. Just small town little girls living in the crazy world trying to figure out what is and isn't true".

Quinn picks it back up, not meeting her eyes, " And I don't try to hide my tears

the secrets, all my deepest fears. Through it all nobody gets me like you do and you know everything about me. You say that you can't live without me. I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do. Well, you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you".

Santana joins her "When I'm with anybody else. It's so hard to be myself. And only you can tell. That I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do. Well, you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me, who I wanna be. Well, I'm only me when I'm with you. With you, oh, yeah."

They lay beside each other in silence for a while, listening to Britt's consistent, soft breathing.

"Don't you go telling people I like Taylor," Santana breaks the silence, "I have a reputation, you know".

"Wouldn't dream of it," Quinn teases.

"Good night Queeny," San yawns.

"Good night Tana," Quinn replies.

They lapse into silence.

"That dumb song is stuck in my head now. You did it on purpose, Santana Marie Lopez," Quinn complains, humming Graduation (Friends Forever).

Maybe it's a tiny bit true; better that than nightmares about her father. Not like San would ever admit it.

"Did not. Ugh now it's stuck in mine too, thanks Lucy Quinn Fabray".

"No problem," Quinn smiles angelically.

Santana rolls her eyes, "You're lucky I tolerate you".

"Awww I love you too, S," Quinn yawns, no wonder her father jokes her middle name is really "diabla".

Santana just curls around her protectively and looks over her body at Brittany. She wishes she could protect them both, fix all their problems. Her best friends, her blondes, her matching parts of the Unholy Trinity…she figures it's a problem for another day.

* * *

A/N: This got a bit dark. Sorry. It kind of just wrote itself. But this is really it as far as the abuse goes, it stops after this. It does serve as a bit more insight on Quinn though. Next chapter, we'll revisit this and probably have a Santana focused flashback.


	11. Off the Team

**A/N: This chapter is mostly vignettes set during Mash-Up. **

* * *

**Chapter 11: Off the Team**

* * *

When they wake up, impossibly tangled together, Quinn sighs and pokes Santana. Grumpy as always when woken up, Santana shoves her and Quinn ends up sprawled on top of Brittany.

"Santana!" Quinn screams in annoyance, rolling off of Brittany.

Britt sits up a bit confused.

"Sorry B, it was all her fault," Quinn proclaims.

Santana has rolled to face away from them and continue sleeping.

"I'll get the pancake stuff if you wake her up," Quinn offers, only feeling slightly bad.

Waking Santana in the morning is not a task she'd wish on anyone, but Britt seems to be particularly skilled at it.

"Deal," Brittany smiles offering her pinkie to seal the promise.

With Quinn gone, after double-checking to make sure she isn't coming back, Britt leans over and kisses Santana's cheek. When San rolls toward her, Britt follows it up with a deep kiss. Santana blinks up at her blurry eyed.

"Morning B," she says softly, her voice hoarse from sleep.

Brittany thinks this might be her favorite thing. Seeing Santana in the morning, happy, tired but real, in a way no one else gets to see her.

San yawns and smiles, reaching up to kiss her again. She has complete faith that Britt knows they are on the DL or whatever and Q isn't around.

"Good morning," Brittany replies once they pull apart.

Santana reluctantly sits up so she can pull Brittany into her lap.

"I'll squish you," Brittany proclaims trying to wiggle away.

Santana just tightens her grip, "Nonsense, Chispita," she says, "little spark" fits Brittany now, her blond hair wild and blue eyes flashing.

"I suppose you won't tell me what that means," Brittany pouts.

Santana gently kisses it away, "Of course not, that's the game Mariposa".

Britt reminds her of a butterfly in flight, constant motion and grace. Santana recently started using sweet Spanish nicknames for Brittany but she says it's a game, Britt has to figure out what they mean on her own. Santana really just can't bring herself to say the words in English, to let Britt understand, they invoke too many feelings and this is supposed to be just sex.

Santana sighs and drops her head onto Brittany's shoulder, kissing her neck. Britt giggles, one of her favorite sounds.

"That tickles, S," she laughs, twisting away.

"Querida," Santana coos pressing in one last kiss.

Brittany slides off her lap and tugs her to her feet. "Pancake time Liefje," she proclaims, tugging her along, two can play at this game.

"Lief," she whines insistently pulling Santana along.

When they get there, Quinn has finished the batter and made most of the pancakes.

"I left some for you to flip," she points for Brittany, before moving to fill her glass with orange juice. This house is like a second home and she knows where everything is.

Britt eagerly steps up to the stove and pours out a circle. Santana fills two glasses, one orange and one apple while watching Brittany. Flipping is the tricky part and Brittany has her tongue poking out of the edge of her mouth in concentration. It nearly falls out of the pan, but Quinn nudges the spatula at the right time so it just hits the edge.

After years of practice you'd think there would be some improvement, there was but it was minimal. Better than Santana though, she could cook Latino food and that's about it pasta, toast, grilled cheese on a good day.

"Set the table," Quinn bosses Santana, moving to supervise Brittany.

Santana rolls her eyes but does it, biting her tongue.

"Thanks for helping B," Quinn smiles when they finish without lighting anything on fire, "Pancake for you".

Brittany follows where Q is pointing and grabs the plate.

Santana stands up and peeks at it, "Cool cat".

Quinn makes shapes for Brittany and Brittany only. Santana asked once and got a straight up no. So stubborn as always, she tried to make her own and ended up with a warped blob shape.

They eat and dress quickly so they can be on time to church. Brittany is dropped off at home. Her family is Protestant Christian but they don't really go to church except on major holidays. The Lopez and Fabray families are Catholic and go every Sunday. Britt says church makes her sleepy anyways and she is supposed to baby sit her sister, Bailey.

Quinn races in just in time and sits with her parents in the front pew. Santana arrives late after parking the car and slides down a side aisle to meet her parents in the second row. It's like they do this on purpose to embarrass her. San feels better knowing they extracted a promise from Quinn at breakfast. She'll tell her mother tonight and the police if it happens again. Santana prays for her anyway.

* * *

School comes too soon for her liking and Santana isn't happy about it. She's grumpy after getting chewed out by her parents last afternoon for nearly missing the beginning of church. Then her cousins ganged up on her at dinner teasing her mercilessly. She accidently snapped at Brittany before school and now B is hanging with Mercedes and looking sad. Plus she's dumped Puck for his poor credit score, she knows what it's like to have no money and is never going back.

So her day already sucks when Quinn comes up to her looking worried.

"I don't have time for your baby drama today," Santana hisses, straightening up as Sue passes by.

Quinn sends her one of those ice princess glares and stalks off. Just another issue to deal with later…

* * *

At practice she's patching it up with Britt when Mr. Shue walks in. Brittany sits next to her like usual and she takes it as a win. Santana is scrutinizing her nails when she sees catches Quinn cleaning slushy off of Finn. She feels a little bad at that point for snapping at her but mostly worried. If Quinn isn't popular anymore it could mean two things, either she'll will go down too or WMHS is primed for takeover.

Glee involves "Bust a Move" it's got a good beat and Britt pokes her before starting to dance. San joins in and isn't surprised when B reaches out to pull Quinn over. Q is a bit reluctant at first, laughing and kind of joining in. Santana shoots her an apologetic smile and is pleased when they are all in sync again. Quinn and Britt are all smiles so Santana is too, she is just so happy everyone else is.

* * *

Quinn is inwardly freaking out about this slushy thing. She forgets about it temporarily during Glee but in the hallway she's reminded they are major targets. The old Quinn might have accepted this as her lot in life, once Lucy always Lucy. But she is determined not to lose her popularity. So after a minor freak out to Finn he suggests they talk to Ms. Pillsbury.

"At the very least she must have gleamed tips off of watching popular kids and wishing to be them," he suggests.

Quinn agrees to go, knowing this is probably true. After all, Rose and her clique are the reason she knows how to run a school. This matters not just to her, but to her parents. Her mother always tells her popularity is currency; it's how she got into Arizona State not her grades.

Of course Ms. Pillsbury's advice is "be yourselves". But Quinn has gotten to where she is by being as unlike her self as possible. She shoots a look to Finn and gets a returned _seriously_ face. They both know being popular is a lot more about the image you project than the person you are. This is what happens when you get advise from someone who wants to be on the inside but never has. Finn might be kind of dumb, suggesting, "Drizzle" for a baby name, but even he has a decent grip on how high school popularity works.

* * *

Puck looks kind of sweet singing "Sweet Caroline". He looks hot and he's got a good voice. Santana almost regrets breaking up with him. Quinn is all gaga eyed over him too but it's pretty obvious he's singing directly to Rachel, which is ridiculous. He's hers, and she doesn't share. If not her then Q, it is his baby. Rachel falls nowhere on the list. It's a good performance but all she can do is clap along half-heartedly. She is not excited about anything involving the dwarf.

* * *

Quinn wears the sunglasses with Finn anyway. It's the only idea they've got on how to boost their popularity. While they might not always connect on everything, they do on this. They are the King and Queen of WMHS and intend to keep it that way. Even if it means keeping Rachel as far away from Finn as possible, no matter how fake nice she tries to be.

Being slushied is like all of her worst nightmares coming true. Finn can't protect her from this; he's got grape slush covering his face too. The football team are his buddies, they are the guys who watch out for her at parties and whistle at her during pictures before school dances. Quinn is worried this is the beginning of the end, first the guys, then Brittany, Santana and the Cheerios. Her eyes are watering from the stinging corn syrup and as much as she wants to start crying that would not help things.

The slushy has seeped into her clothes making them cold and sticky. Quinn can picture her blond hair stained purple and hopes it will rinse out. At first they are stunned, Quinn is frozen and trying not to cry, Finn is stupefied in shock. Then Kurt comes and guides Finn away. If she wasn't so upset she'd be worried he was trying to make a move on Finn.

Rachel is at her side and pulling her into the girls' restroom. Santana and Brittany covertly join them. San considers dismissing Rachel but looks Quinn up and down and reconsiders. She has never been slushied before and neither has Brittany. Santana would like to keep it that way. Rachel can handle the hard part of actually cleaning up, Brittany can do the emotional stuff, and she can, um, go grab Q a change of clothes or something.

Rachel is already setting Quinn up at the sink to rinse out her hair. Santana grab's Q's bag and riffles through it before triumphantly holding up car keys.

"You still carry around clothes in your car?" she asks.

"Yeah," Quinn answers, eyes tearing as she tries to blink the corn syrup out. They all do in case they want to hang out right after school and change out of their uniforms.

"Why don't you three head into the Cheerios locker room? Go take a real shower instead of this makeshift stuff. I'll bring you real clothes and it'll be fine" Santana lies through her teeth.

Quinn looks at her worriedly, wiping her face with a damped paper towel.

"But the" Quinn rakes her brain for the right word before giving up, "the people".

Britt smiles, "No one messes with Santana, take her with you. I can get your stuff".

San isn't pleased with this plan but the more she thinks about it, Britt might be safer from slushies this way.

"Fine," Santana says taking Quinn's hand and tugging her along.

Quinn's hair is long and scraggly, partially washed out by Rachel but not really. Rachel is hesitating, waffling between following and leaving.

"Come on," Santana insists.

She takes them around the back hallways that are rarely used, it takes longer to get there but they avoid more people. Quinn showers and Rachel washes Q's uniform in the sink trying to get the stains out. Santana leans against the sink and files her nails trying to look nonchalant. She won't really be able to relax until Britt returns and Quinn is done. Finally, Brittany comes into the room holding Quinn's bag.

"About time," Santana says exasperated.

Rachel looks surprised at her tone, figuring she'd be nicer to Britt at least. But B sees through her and hands over the bag, hugging Santana tightly around her waist at the same time. It makes San want to kiss her forehead but she refrains, shooting daggers at Rachel.

"Santana?" Quinn's voice comes softly from the showers.

"Britt brought your stuff, she'll bring it to you," Santana calls out shoving Brittany toward the showers.

Britt frowns at her and shoves Santana back.

"San?" Quinn pleads again.

Santana rolls her eyes, snatches the bag, and stomps over.

"Here," Santana snaps shoving the bag at Quinn, "God Quinn".

Q looks up at her with red-rimmed eyes.

Rachel is surprised that San seems to be taking charge.

Quinn swallows hard, and then barks out "Don't you Quinn me, Santana Marie. Get Rachel to leave".

She grabs the bag and heads into the stall to change.

"Leaving," Rachel calls out, heading out the doors quickly.

Quinn comes back out in a baby doll dress and sweater. Santana is determined to avoid any actual conversation so they hurriedly exit into the main locker room area.

Santana gives Q a quick side hug, "Come on, we spent all of lunch in here, we're gonna be late to class".

Quinn shrugs her off and picks up her backpack. She still feels all wobbly but she isn't about to tell S that.

Brittany smashes into Q in a tight hug, "See you in Glee!"

San and Quinn nod at each other and leave.

* * *

Quinn was worried about her clothes and keeps nervously smoothing her dress but Sue is in a great mood for some reason today. Quinn doesn't know why, but she's glad. A short yelling spree is all she gets for being out of uniform. Brittany says Sue is being nicer to her too, giving her extra time to work on choreography by pulling her out of class. She hasn't seen Santana since lunch but even the little JV cheerleaders are happier so she'd bet it's been a good day all around. Quinn can't wait to get to practice. The good mood will mean hard working, eager girls. Today's the day they are going to nail the intro when no mistakes. She can feel it.

* * *

Santana kind of thinks Puck has it coming to him when he's slushied. It's not like she encouraged it, no of course not. Well…he shouldn't be with Rachel. He's screwing up the hierarchy and someone needed to put him in his place. If she ever wants to get back together he needs to be on the football team, Cheerios and football players, that's how it goes. Guilt pools in her stomach anyway, over any part she played in the whole ordeal.

But at 3:30 she's got a sinking feeling in her stomach as no one walks in. San tries to focus on Quinn's ridiculous sunglasses instead; they need a serious fashion talk after this. They are a team and she's worried that the guys have forgotten that, that maybe her not so subtle slushy reminder scared Puck away. So she's happy to see Matt and Mike enter the classroom just after 3:30. They move to give hugs eagerly. Matt has been a good distraction from Puck and she's glad he made it.

* * *

Puck is sitting on the bleachers wondering if he made the right choice. Glee over football, Rachel over fighting for Quinn. Watching practice he misses the team, but he thinks deep down he would have missed Glee more. And Quinn is Finn's, always has been, always will be. Fighting for her would have resulted in him getting passed over again for Finn the golden boy. Finn's his best friend but it can be tough when Finn is always someone's favorite. He literally stayed in Glee just to have the chance to watch Quinn knowing that's the closest he'll ever get. It's pathetic and even worse that Rachel can figure it out so easily. He probably does want it too much.

After all, he's wanted Quinn since she walked in out of nowhere freshman year. She was hands down the hottest girl he'd ever seen. Santana is pretty hot too but there was something about the way Quinn was regal, closed off, and bossy all at once. San was fun but it was always fiery, hot make out sessions, blazing fights, passion and no in between. Q chose Finn of course, so quickly he couldn't make a move. Then she was off limits, he wouldn't go behind his best friend's back and neither would Quinn. He was a third wheel to their coupledness. Until Q started bringing along Santana and their decade old friendship became something more.

But now San had dropped him, Rachel was dumping him, and Quinn was with Finn. Like maybe if he repeated it enough it wouldn't hurt each time he remembered. He couldn't listen to Rachel anymore. This was a dumb idea, sure she was Jewish, but she was annoying. Quinn was Finn's and he was over it.

* * *

Quinn is still wearing the sunglasses, absentmindedly hoping they will start to work with some more time. When told, she pulls them down quickly, if Sue is on a rampage it is better to just do as she says. Then Sue tells her she's off the squad. Quinn is losing in it the middle of the hallway and wishes she still had those sunglasses on to hide her red-rimmed eyes. This baby was ruining everything. Q had figured on a few more months with the Cheerios. She wasn't even showing yet and the doctor had assured her it was fine. That quiver was a one-time thing she passed off as exhaustion from glee. Quinn wipes away an errant tear and shoves the sunglasses back on her face.

"Get out of my way," she barks to a few JV squad cheerleaders. They part, clearly not aware yet that she has no juice anymore.

Off the squad, not captain, not a Cheerio, not a cheerleader… Quinn is nothing without her place as Cheerios captain. If her popularity was falling before, it will be reduced to nothing now. She won't be surprised if she loses Finn, Santana, Brittany, Puck, the other cheerleaders and football players. She can't bear the idea of telling them, but she can't stand the idea of them hearing it from anyone else.

"Brittany, Santana come on," she yells out at them during passing period. People still part and the girls listen, B willingly, S grudgingly.

"What? Santana snaps, "We have like 5 minutes Q. Can't this wait until practice."

"Which practice? Glee or Cheerios?" Britt asks confused.

"Not here," Quinn hisses, dragging them into an empty classroom.

For someone acting so bossy, Quinn quickly loses her nerve.

"As much as I don't want to go to Spanish," Santana drawls, "Let's move this along," she motions with her hand.

Quinn twirls her cross and bites her lip.

"It's over," she finally says, "everything".

Santana and Brittany exchange looks, Q tends to be a bit of an over-exaggerator, but considering everything lately…

"I've been kicked off the squad," Quinn blurts out.

Santana sighs and shakes her head, "Sue is just mad her dance partner is using her. She'll reinstate you next week".

"I don't think so," Quinn says hoarsely, "you didn't see her face. I've never seen her so mad at me".

Britt frowns, "Don't cry Quinn," she whispers, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Quinn snuggles into her side, "I'll admit it, it doesn't matter now anyway... I think I did get special treatment. There was always this look in her eyes…but today it was completely gone. It's over".

"I don't wanna be totally harsh. But you knew this was coming didn't you?" Santana asks, "You couldn't possibly believe we would be hauling your whale-ass to the top of the pyramid 6 months from now".

Quinn shakes her head, "I didn't think it would happen so soon," she snipes.

Santana is coming from a place of love; she's always defensively mean.

She sends back a glare then wraps her up in a tight hug, "We will be the same no matter what," San whispers, pressing a kiss into Quinn's hair. She then pulls away and slides into Brittany's lap.

Brittany leans in and murmurs, "I'm proud of you San" softly so Q can't hear.

Quinn is wondering if she means it. Watching Santana suddenly bolt away giggling, "No fair tickling". Brittany is laughing too, her hand on Quinn's shoulder but her attention on Santana.

"Time to bounce," Santana says in a silly voice, grabbing her backpack, "One more late slip and I've got detention".

Brittany waves her out and grabs her bag, "You okay Q?"

Quinn nods and then shrugs, "I will be" she lies, leaving with B.

* * *

Quinn is still out of uniform in the choir room, there have been plenty of rumors why and by now everyone knows of the slushy mishap. She's in the baby doll dress that was in her car so she could change and meet her parents for dinner after practice. The thought of telling them she's off the squad makes her nauseous and she just twirls her straw in the slushy cup instead of sipping on it.

Mr. Shue brings her out of her head asking, "You okay, Quinn?"

Seriously, "Do I look okay? I'm devastated. Now that I'm off the Cheerios, I'll start every day with a Slushie facial". And that's just the beginning; school will be miserable but home will be worse.

People shoot her concerned looks.

"That's okay if that happens, Quinn, because there are 11 of your friends right here... who are gonna be more than happy to help clean you off," Mr. Shue enthuses.

"Yeah. Whoo!" various glee clubbers cheer, eager to show their support.

As awful as everything is, she can't help but smile. All she has ever wanted are friends, and it seems that in Glee she's got eleven of them. With that she takes a sip of the grape slushy. It's sweet and cold, just like her. Surrounded by eleven friends she can't help but laugh as they toss their slushies at Mr. Shue. Hers is still pretty full. If it's the last slushy she ever gives, it was a good one.

* * *

**A/N: So this was a bit different style wise. I'd love to know if you thought, if flowed okay... Do you like the little "add ons" to episode scenes, "Outtakes" which would be things like the sleepover that didn't happen in canon, a combination...? Also who would you like the story to focus on more Santana, Quinn, Brittana, the Unholy Trinity friendship...? Thanks for reading! **


	12. Viva la Vida

**Chapter Twelve: Viva La Vida**

* * *

Quinn is standing in the bedroom, her hair pulled up in a mock imitation of what her mother wants it to look like for the dance.

"Sweetie, I'm so proud of you. The Chastity Ball is so important to your father," Judy says as Quinn turns so she can zip it up.

It is _so_ very important to her father; the reminder makes her throat ache. Quinn catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror, this doesn't hide the growing baby bump well. _God, I miss the firm support of my polyester Cheerios uniform! The control panel hid my baby bump perfectly_. Her mother frowns when the zipper to her Chastity Ball dress stops zipping.

She tugs it down and tries again, like it might be caught on the fabric, "That's odd. We had this custom-made a month ago".

Quinn can still remember the day with perfect clarity. Her mother made most decisions regarding the dress like the capped ruffle sleeves, and it had to be white for the Ball, but she still got some input, like choosing the white eyelet lace fabric. Her mother had been so happy, beaming at Quinn in the mirror. They went out for lunch afterward and she didn't say one word about Quinn eating real food instead of waiting for a Sue Sylvester shake.

She doesn't want to see the look change, so she lies; "I had a really big lunch today at school, really big tacos".

Quinn struggles to keep her face smooth, _like she would ever eat tacos_. Her mother's hands come up to hug her shoulders. Quinn is struck by how much they look alike, the same heart shaped faces, high cheeks bones, blond hair, and big smiles. Then her mother pulls out the measuring tape and wraps it around her waist. For a brief moment Quinn feels like she can't breathe.

"No worries, sweetie. I'll just take it down to the tailor tomorrow. We'll let it out a little bit. The problem here, honey, is, you know, I just don't think you've been getting enough exercise ever since you quit the Cheerios. Am I right?" her mother continues.

Quinn sighs in relief, clinging to the excuse "Yeah. Yeah. That's right," _thank god her mom was just going to ignore it_. That's what they always did. It was familiar; she could handle this.

"I mean, you used to spend hours every day doing backflips and high kicks, and now, I mean, now you spend all your free time sitting on a stool in the dark singing show tunes. Do you know how many calories you burn singing? Hmm? Not very many," Judy preaches.

This is okay, the subtle nudges about calorie intake and exercise; this is how it's always been, the slightly disapproving look and maternal hand on the chin so Quinn has to look her in the eyes.

"Judy! Glenn Beck is on!" her dad says before gasping "Oh! Wait. Hold on. Hold on". He playfully covers his eyes, laughing, "Oh, I don't want to see!"

Quinn lets herself pretend for a moment, she's daddy's little girl, his number one since Rose left for college, "Daddy, it's not like we're getting married," she teases.

"I don't want– oh. Oh, look at you," he says kissing her cheek.

"Speaking of getting married, how's that boy you've been dating?" he asks.

The look of awe in his eyes made her heart swell with pride. All the dieting, ballet, Cheerios, part of it was to be able to look in the mirror and like herself. But a big part of it was for this look of approval. _That boy, Finn, right_.

"Yeah. Yeah. He's not, uh, pressuring you at all, is he?" her mother inserts herself into the conversation.

"No! No, he's a gentleman," Quinn defends; _Finn was, unlike her, he still had his virginity and everything_.

"I'm glad to hear that. Mm-hmm. That's why I'm inviting him over for dinner on Sunday" her dad responds.

Quinn starts to freak out internally and misses what they say afterward. Now she's got to make sure Finn doesn't screw this up and her parents cut down on the alcohol. They both leave while Quinn is coming out of her daze. She reaches around to undo the zipper with some wiggling and maneuvering. As she slips out of the white dress Quinn remembers watching Rosalie get all dressed up when she was still in 6th grade.

_She remembers thinking she'd never get to feel that beautiful. She had watched her sister get ready in the bathroom, her eye pressed in the slit of the barely open door. Rose had shrieked and thrown a hissy fit when she saw her. Lucy had snuck in to stare at the dress hanging in Rose's closet weeks before but hadn't touched it. It was two weeks after the Ball that she'd picked it up and held it out in front of her, dancing in front of the mirror before bursting into tears. She had been kidding herself. This would never fit her._

And she had been right, the dress didn't fit and just like last time it was all her fault. A lack of self-discipline her mother would say, her sister "because you're a freak", and her daddy, worst of all, disapproving silence. She ripped off the dress and threw it crumpled on her bed. It would wrinkle but she didn't really care. The tailor could let out the dress but it wouldn't work indefinitely and she didn't know how long her mom would go on pretending to her father.

* * *

Her day just gets worse at school. She's late already, because she'd dressed in her Cheerios uniform out of habit, made it halfway down the stairs before she remembered, and had to change. Then she runs into Finn. All she wants to do is cry, _damn these hormones_, curl up against him and tell him about Sunday dinner, have him promise it will be alright. Instead he corners her at her locker, all nervous. His leg is jiggling, making _her_ nervous, and he looks uncertain.

"Spit it out," she says, pushing him aside to reach her books.

"I didn't mean to," he hedges, "it just came out".

_She doesn't have time for this_.

"My mom knows about the baby," he finally says hurriedly.

_No, no, no, this cannot be happening today of all days. _

"I can't believe you told your mom. What if she tells my mom?" Quinn says her voice rising in pitch and her heart racing.

"No, she's not," Finn tries to placate her.

"Half the school knows. Your mom knows. Who else do you want to tell? Huh?" she hisses, thoroughly pissed off.

"But she's not going to tell anybody," Finn promises.

"You're wrong, I'm right. I'm smart, you're dumb," Quinn points corning him against the wall.

Her mom is willing to pretend for now and she'll take it. If she finds out from Finn's mom, her mom will have to act. She won't be able to ignore it anymore and she will tell daddy.

The panic is starting to overwhelm her, "No, you're wrong, I'm right. I'm right, okay?" she yells, walking away from him and down the hall.

Quinn will not let Finn and his dumb mouth take away any more precious moments she has left as daddy's little girl. He won't ruin the Chastity Ball for her, an event she has looked forward to for months, for years. Just because he's a momma's boy and spilled the beans doesn't mean he gets to ruin her life too. Not again.

* * *

All to soon it's Sunday and at dinner her heart is pounding. _Please don't screw this up Finn_, she thinks, shooting him a small smile, so far so good. _This might be okay_.

"I'd like to propose a toast," her dad says.

Quinn responds on reflex, "Daddy, no," shaking her head and smiling.

"Russell and his famous toasts," her mom explains, smirking.

It's an inside joke, something just between them.

"The Fabrays are a tight-knit family. I have been blessed with a loving wife, two remarkable daughters. My first married a wonderful Christian man who owns his own chain of UPS stores. My second daughter, little Quinnie, we are just so proud of her" her dads rambles on, "Captain of the Cheerios", _guess mom hasn't told him she quit yet_, "President of the Celibacy Club" Quinn forces herself to smile like everything is fine, "I got a little peek at the dress. I'm certain she's a shoo-in for princess".

Quinn smiles, settling her folded hands in her lap.

"She is," her mother agrees.

Quinn is impressed; they are playing very nice tonight.

"But tonight we are very glad to welcome her new friend–quarterback, no less," he continues.

_Quarterback_, the main basis of her attraction to Finn, _knowing her parents would be proud, her sister jealous_.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Uh… too much pop," Finn rambles.

_Or you know, an idiot_.

"Oh, wait, it's right through the kitchen, sweetheart", her mom reminds him like she didn't tell him when he arrived.

"He wears a helmet when he plays, right?" her dad asks slightly joking, slightly concerned.

Quinn plasters on a smile "He's just intimidated by you, Daddy" she coos thinking of new ways to kill Finn.

"That's my kitchen radio," her mom points out the obvious upon his return.

"Yeah, I need to borrow it," Finn answers.

"Finn, what's this?" Quinn hisses, this was not part of the twenty-minute lecture she had given him prior to dinner.

"Well, we have this assignment in Glee Club to sing a ballad. They're all about expressing the things you can't find any other way to say," he explains.

Her parents look like they are thinking maybe this kid is crazy, but maybe this will be a sweet love song.

Quinn however gets it immediately, Finn isn't hard to read, "Oh, God, Finn, don't. Please, don't," her voice trembles, begging.

He thinks this will go over like with his mom, some anger, some tears, then a hug and advice. She had made it clear that this wasn't an option.

"No, I need to do this for both of us," Finn insists.

But maybe she should have expanded on why, it was hard for her to open up though. The last time she had, the boy had impregnated her and smashed her heart to bits.

He looks confident and pointedly ignores her glares. Her parents don't know the song and smile at the start of the music. Though her dad looks a bit annoyed at the whole thing. She's frozen in disbelief and anger. He was actually going to go through with this. Quinn doesn't know why she didn't spring up and turn the cd off, break it if that's what it took.

Her mom is nodding along and smiling, her dad looks like he's trying not to laugh, fingers pressed to his mouth; she's mortified. Quinn sees the moment her mom suddenly "get's it" the smile falling off her face. Q bites her lip; her mom already knew the charade, if they can just keep her dad in the dark. Tears spring to her eyes, hormones she tells herself, it's not that this is almost over.

Then she smiles, because Finn is singing just to her, looking at her with mooning eyes just like he always looks at Rachel, and in that moment she has everything she ever wanted. It's embarrassing, but it's an all out love ballad to her, and only her, it's like everything else has faded away.

Then she sees her parents exchanging looks. Quinn keeps smiling, so hard her face hurts _come on daddy, just keep thinking he's an idiot who picked a dumb song_. But instead he reaches out and stops the music, glaring up at Finn.

They move into the living room. Finn sits beside her on the couch and tries to put his arm around her. Quinn knocks it off.

"There must be some sort of mistake here. Quinnie, we raised you right," her mom says nervously.

"You…you did. We didn't even have sex…" Finn stammers. _Sweet innocent, naïve Finn_.

"I'm sorry. Can we just stop with the lying, please?" her mom requests, giving one of her icy Fabray glares.

Quinn is looking down at her lap with red-rimmed eyes; she can't bare to look them in the eyes.

"When you were about five years old, I took you and your sister down to an Indians game. All the other dads brought their sons, but my two girls were enough for me" her dad starts.

Quinn can remember the game. She had been so excited to spend time with her daddy. She had on an Indians cheerleading uniform, and the skirt flew out when she twirled. She was the beloved baby, Lucy. He called her his prettiest, sweetest princess.

"Daddy," she whispers tears starting to run down her cheeks, she would do anything to get that title back.

"Your sister made it through the whole game, but you fell asleep in my lap," he continues.

Her mom is crying now too.

Quinn remembers being cold, wanting to see better, and crawling into his arms. He had picked her up and covered her with his sweatshirt. Quinn lets out a sob, remembering the gentle way he held her and the smell of his aftershave.

"I kept hoping nothing exciting would happen, 'cause I didn't want the crowd to get too loud…wake you up," he explained.

Her dad looked like he was going to cry. Quinn hated this, this pit of longing for that day, missing him already when he was ten feet away. Rose had been petulant on the way home. The fourth grader had been upset because Daddy had shushed her to let Lucy sleep.

"Didn't matter. You stayed asleep in my arms till the game ended," he concluded. The story was over but his face was also closed off. Like that one story was a goodbye.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry," Quinn cries.

She is sorry. _Sorry that she didn't keep her vow to God, sorry she was lying to Finn, sorry she was ignoring Puck, sorry she hadn't begged her mom for help, sorry she wasn't a better daughter, but mostly sorry that she had cause the love in his eyes to turn to disappointment_.

Russell sighs and braces himself, "You need to leave".

"Wait. Please, Daddy can we talk about this? Finn is a good guy. He loves me," Quinn rambles, clutching Finn's arm, she can't handle being alone right now. If he leaves, she'll be told to go to her room for who knows how long.

"You, too. Get out of my house," he orders.

Her mom looks surprised at his. Quinn is floored; it is taking everything in her to keep breathing.

"You can't do that. She didn't do anything wrong. Please, Mrs. Fabray, do something," Finn defends her.

He's defending her; it's all backwards, and messed up. Something in her breaks, "Don't bother, Finn," she's resigned, "If she wanted to do something, she would've when she found out that I was pregnant".

"You knew?" Russell reproaches.

"I– no. She didn't tell me anything," Judy half-lies.

Quinn is ramping up now, "But you knew. And I needed you," she accuses.

"I needed my mom," her voice breaks, "And you were so scared of what he would do if he found out you just pushed it aside like we do every bad feeling in this house".

At one point that's what she had wanted. After all she had been taught, "If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist".

If she could pretend then this doesn't exist either.

He roars at her red faced, "Now do not turn this on us! You are the disappointment here!"

"Why?" Quinn says, words getting caught in her throat, "Because I'm not a little girl anymore? Because I made a mistake?"

He seems honestly astonished that she isn't agreeing, "Who are you? I don't recognize you at all".

"I'm your daughter, who loves you. And who knows this must be really hard for you, but I just need my daddy to hold me, and tell me that it's going to be okay," she says honestly.

That's all she wants, for both of them to hug her and help her put the pieces back together. For him to fix it like he did with their busted kites and skinned knees. For her mom to promise to buy maternity clothes and itty-bitty designer baby outfits. For them to promise to be there, support her, and love her no matter what. It's all she's ever wanted.

He walks toward her and considers her for a moment.

"Please," she begs.

And then he walks away, cutting her to the core. And she can't stop the sobbing.

"Judy!" her father calls and she leaves too.

Finn stands there but doesn't touch her. And she can't stop crying, _why is she still crying, why does this hurt so much when she was expecting it_, hoping against hope it wouldn't end like this, but expecting it all the same. _No one ever really wants her_.

* * *

Finn drags her to his house, promising his mom would be cool. Quinn sets her red Cheerios bag in the foyer. It's filled with as much clothes as she could fit in during the 15 minutes she took to pack. She follows Finn through the clean, but tiny house toward the basement and rumbling washing machine. Quinn's been here before, cuddled on the couch with Finn, but this is different.

She's standing behind him on the stairs and can hear his mom say, "Honey, how many times have I told you, you gotta turn these T-shirts right side out before you…". It's a kind of normal she's never had.

"Um… Mom, Quinn's parents threw her out. Could she stay here for a couple of days?" Finn asks, with no tact at all.

Quinn is hugging herself, running through options, Santana, Brittany, Puck, other Cheerios, a hotel on Terri's dime, Mr. Shue's house, Sue. She is trying to ignore their conversation, pretend that it doesn't matter.

"Yeah, of course she can. Honey, you can stay here as long as you want," Carol offers.

Quinn feels, she doesn't know exactly, still drained and upset, but maybe just a bit relieved.

She spends the night in Finn's bed. His room still has the same baseball theme from his childhood. The same racecar sheets and little league trophies for participation. It's dark and quiet. Finn is sleeping on the couch downstairs in the living room. Quinn feels so lonely but can't bring herself to sneak downstairs. She can't afford to upset his mother. She does text the other members of Unholy Trinity though. Then she waits, staring out at the streetlights. Thinking about how this neighborhood is better than Puck's but worse than hers, this baby is going to have more than Finn or Puck ever did, even on Mr. Shue's teacher's salary. _Not tonight, _both of them reply. Only then does she allow her tears to fall. This baby will have a dad who will love it no matter what, unlike her own father, unconditional love. Quinn curls up in a tight ball, alone, how it has always been. It makes her feel like the outcast she was for most her childhood. _No parents, no friends, no one_. It isn't until the next day that she pulls herself together. _She's Quinn Fabray, HBIC and popular, she can handle this. _

* * *

Quinn is sitting in the hard plastic choir room chair; _thank god it's the end of the day_. She has no idea what's going on, but Brittany sneaks her a thumbs up sign. She adjusts her yellow headband, which matches her shirt perfectly, and Finn walks in. She shrugs in response to his question; _no she doesn't know what's going on_.

"What are you going to sing?" Finn asks. She thinks maybe he has learned his lesson on the whole surprise song thing.

Within the first hums, she's smiling. It's a nice change from the tears she shed all night long. They are all singing and genuine.

Santana and Brittany play it up, the facial expressions and pointing, and she actually laughs.

San can lie all she wants, Quinn knows she likes this. It isn't just about the football players or Sue anymore and Quinn likes it too, this rag-tag gang of outcasts and popular kids that has become like her family. Finn is clutching her hand equally delighted, he has always been the leader of this pack.

Then Puck catches her eyes, he smiles and she can feel it all the way in her bones. A sort of warmth like lying in the sun, he makes her feel like it will all be okay. Even though she just spent the night in Finn's bed, with faded racecar sheets while he slept downstairs.

Mercedes pulls them up to join in. Quinn smiles and starts to dance. Santana sidles up beside her and wraps her arm around her with a smile. The smile stays in place and she doesn't miss a beat singing while she looks Quinn over. But for now Quinn is fine, with Mercedes on one side and San on the other she doesn't feel anything but happiness. Britt launches herself at Quinn hugging her and then picking her up off her feet, giggling. Quinn smiles, clinging to her and laughing.

Somehow they are all holding on to each other, Mercedes, herself, Brittany, Santana, Puck, Finn, Mike, Tina, Artie, Kurt and Rachel. It's one massive half circle that dissolves into a group hug when the song ends.

Then they start to pack up to leave school for practices and home. Finn stays back beside her, Puck is slow to pack up too, as are Santana, Brittany, and Mercedes.

"You okay?" Mercedes asks, looking from her to Finn, to Puck. Quinn nods, and she leaves.

"See you later," Quinn tells Finn kissing him softly and swiftly. He leaves for practice taking Puck with him, though Puck sends her a lingering gaze as they exit. She communicates that she's fine, knowing he will ditch practice and come back otherwise.

That leaves her with Santana and Brittany.

Brit hugs her and looks her over, "Good?" she asks.

Quinn nods, "Don't be late to tutoring".

Quinn had helped Finn and Brittany in math earlier, the extra tutoring would look great on her college applications and she had finished early.

Brittany picks up her backpack, "Thanks for the math help yesterday," she says moving toward the door.

"San?" she hesitates.

"Go on," Santana nods, "Maybe I'll come by later, like for dinner. I'll text you".

Quinn's lip wobbles when they are alone.

"Wanna go for a drive?" Santana asks offering a hand and hauling her out of her chair.

Quinn nods, _anything to get out of here, to get away_.

Santana clicks unlock and gets behind the wheel of her black BMW.

She rolls down the window, "Move it or lose it Quinn," turning on the ignition.

Quinn rolls her eyes; _San wouldn't actually leave_, and got in.

* * *

After about 15 minutes of aimless driving Santana cracks the silence.

"I'm sorry," she says staring resolutely at the road, "That neither of our houses were options".

Quinn continues staring out the window but sneaks a peek at her. It had hurt when she had group texted them and they both replied "not tonight". It was another rejection she wasn't prepared for.

"My parents were actually home. They know yours. We go to the same church. They have spent so much time trying to get on the inside. My mom and dad like you, Q. But your parents, they are intimidating, and they run all the church boards. And I haven't told them about, you and you know, yet. And Finn is the dad. If you need a break, like a sleepover or something, that's fine. But…" Santana trails off.

She doesn't know how long she'll have her parents' love either. Not if it ever comes out that she likes plenty of guys, but she loves Brittany best. That will be the end of her relationship with her parents. She kind of thinks it's inevitable, but in the distant, distant future. She can't give up their love for this, for Quinn, knowing she could still have a few more years of it.

Quinn nods, and Santana thinks she catches what isn't said but is coursing through her head.

And she can tell what's running through Q's "I love you Quinn, you're like a sister. You know. But they're my parents," Santana stops, doesn't continue with _and I love them more_.

"If you ever are desperate, come over, okay," she says pulling the car over.

She looks in Quinn's hazel eyes, "If you really need help, then we'll work it out. No matter what my parents think. You are not alone Quinn Fabray," she grits out, staring at Quinn's teary eyes.

She wrenches her gaze away, "But for now, Finn's house is okay. His mom is nice. They will give you a bed and food and…" Santana tries to convince herself this is the right thing. It was easier last night when she was preoccupied.

"It's fine, Santana," Quinn cuts in flatly.

Quinn knows she shouldn't ask but does anyway, "Brittany?"

Her mom lets Brittany run wild, why she would refuse… _Quinn must be really undesirable_.

Santana frowns, "Yeah," she says avoiding the issue, "I wasn't even home last night. I".

Santana is trying to decide if she should let Q in. _Brit won't be pleased, but will she be upset?_

Santana doesn't think so. Brit's brought it up before but San has convinced her not to share. It was private, nobody else's business. And if for some reason their friendship went south, Q shouldn't have that kind of ammo against B. She can hear Brit's voice in her head, _Come on S, tell her already_. This isn't her secret to share, but Q should have known ages ago. She sends off a quick text to Brittany. Regardless of what she thinks, she's not revealing this without permission.

"You know how we don't sleep over at Brittany's house," she starts.

Her phone pings, _Yes. Better you than me. 3 B_

Quinn nods looking confused. Santana's has no parents; it's the natural choice. Quinn is occasionally second if need be, because hers is biggest. Brittany has two sisters so they don't go there. Santana sighs, she's doing this all wrong.

_You sure? xo S_

_Yes._ 3 B

"Brit's mom is bipolar. Usually it's no big deal, she's on meds and stuff. But sometimes she forgets, or decides she feels better and doesn't want to take them," Santana says.

"When we were little, they didn't have it as sorted out yet. Brit and I thought it was fun, her mom's off the wall ideas about chocolate pudding slip and slide in the kitchen, giant forts throughout the first floor that would stay up for weeks, sliding down the stairs on mattresses, dressing up and pretending to be royalty in public, shopping sprees which must have cost thousands, finger painting on the living room walls. It was stuff we'd never do at my house. And then it wouldn't be," Santana's voice trailed off.

"She'd get…mad, like really angry and Bridget would tell us to go into Brit's room now. She'd throw things and yell right in your face, but she wouldn't hurt us. We'd run upstairs and Brittany would hide in her closet. Bridget would come in and slam the door, locking it. Then she'd pull us into her lap, in the tiny closet, even though she was only 3 years older. I think it made her grow up fast. And she would sing to us, dumb songs, you know, ones she'd make up in her head, until it started," Santana doesn't even realize she's crying.

"You can stop," Quinn offers, looking worried.

Santana presses on monotone like she's entranced, "She'd start crying, sobbing so hard she couldn't catch her breath. So sad, and nothing could make it better,"

Santana is curled up in the seat now.

"We'd go down and the place would be a mess, and she'd just be crying her eyes out. Bridget would start to clean up. She was responsible; she kept us safe. She learned how to be a grownup during the manic phases. It wasn't always mixed episodes; she could be up for weeks. Immersed in crazy ideas, insomnia, and giddiness. Brit's dad travelled a lot for business overseas and Bridget kind of just took over as the adult. We could go along with the fun and know Bridget would say no if it was a bad idea," Santana swallows hard.

"But during the depression, when all she could do was cry or lay there practically catatonic…Brittany would sit with her for hours. She would brush her hair, sing her songs, whisper 'I love you' repeatedly, and hug her over and over. Brit isn't so good with school stuff, she's dyslexic, Bridget was busy with other things, her dad was gone, her mom, well…But she is really good at comforting, at the emotional, messy people stuff. Her mom put it all on display and she absorbed it. She hates when people are sad. She's friends with everybody so no one feels left out," Santana's lips quirk upward, "She's the best".

Quinn reaches out to touch her shoulder and Santana leans against her.

"Her mom had another episode. Her dad took her to the hospital. Bridget graduated last year, she's a year younger than yours right?"

Quinn nods.

"So we were babysitting Bailey last night. She's the same age as Ariella, 1st grade. She doesn't remember her mom ever being, like that. She was so scared, her eyes were huge. We played like 16 games of candy land, fed her 3 popsicles, and watched 3 Disney movies before she fell asleep," Santana says tiredly.

Quinn gives her a look.

"Yeah, yeah, popsicles might not have been the best idea. But Brittany gave her the first one. And they calmed her down, kind of, made her less sad anyway. And…more hyper. Her mom isn't always like this. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Once they figured out her meds, when she's on them, she's normal, leveled out," San sighs, "If you know, she keeps taking them".

Quinn reaches up and takes out Santana's ponytail. Santana shakes her head, letting her hair tumble loose.

"So it's just not an option right now," she concludes, flicking on the radio.

Quinn doesn't know what to say, so she just nods. She doesn't know how they could have kept this from her. But if it's been that long that Bailey doesn't remember, that would place it before they met again at camp. She has secrets that they don't know either.

The radio station switches back from commercial. _I used to rule the world. Seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning I sleep alone. Sweep the streets I used to own. _She thinks this would have made a decent ballad for her to sing. If the story fits...

"Oh Santana," she sighs, "How did it all end up so screwed up…Aren't we supposed to be the ones who have everything?"

Santana suddenly hugs her tight. She isn't usually prone to displays of affection. "As long as we have each other, the Unholy Trinity, we do have everything".

* * *

A/N: Sorry it's been a while. Hope you liked this one. The next chapter is pretty much done. So let me know if you're still reading. I hope to have it up soon!


	13. Hers First

Chapter Thirteen: Hers First

* * *

She misses him more than she thought she would. They have an off again on again off again on relationship. But this is the longest they have been off, ever. And even when their relationship was off their friendship wasn't supposed to be. Her earliest memories, the ones she can still only remember in Spanish include him. He's been there before Brittany and it's hard for her to think of a time when she wasn't BFFs with the blond.

* * *

He's wild, crazy, totally without fear. He climbs to the top of the tower and hangs off the monkey bars upside down. He says things she doesn't understand and somehow goads her into joining him.

Heart pounding she follows him up the ladder to the top, never taking her eyes off of him, copying exactly. He looks back every so often, making sure she's still coming. At the top he says something happily and then whoops out loud, yelling in a way that she understands without words. She follows suit and then they race each other down the slide, communicating with fingers held out, counting down, three, two, one.

She tries to hang like him on the monkey bars but slips and crashes into him as he tries to catch her. Her arm hurts a bit but the pain vanishes as he shoves her off and yells her favorite word of all "Chase!" And then they are off, she's running as fast as possible to catch him and finally snares him around swings.

"Chase!" she says, slightly fumbling the pronunciation.

And suddenly she's fearless, darting around to avoid his grasp, climbing up rock walls and sliding down poles. Chase, chase, chase, chase, chase, they run in circles alternating who is pursuing who. And then they collapse on the grass exhausted, side by side.

A ice cream truck's song can be heard and both kids are eager. Santana has 2 quarters and Noah has 3. The 5 year olds are sweaty with woodchips clinging to their clothing, grass stains and dirt, and hopeful faces.

Noah takes charge, "What can this many buy?" he asks holding up the change.

The man looks at his menu, points to the ones costing $1.50, nothing costs 5 quarters.

Noah nudges her and points to three options. Santana considers them carefully, what looks yummier, what can they split easier. A red, white, and blue rocket pop, a vanilla ice cream cup, or a spider man gumball eyed Popsicle. Noah taps the Spider Man looks at her face and taps the rocket too. Santana wants a rocket but the extra quarter is his, even if he is trying to be nice. She points to the gumball one. The man in the truck laughs and hands them the ice cream.

They sit together on the raised lip of the playground, licking it at the same time since it is melting so quickly. They each get one of the gumball eyes and Santana shows off blowing a bubble. She then points to him and he tries, failing. She continues instructing/taunting until he succeeds and they have a contest for blowing the bigger bubble. She can't remember who won.

Then his father had called "Noah". A shadow crossed his face and he scrambled to his feet.

"Bye Santana," he yelled taking off without looking back.

Santana had sat there for a moment contemplating what to do.

"Santanita, ven aqui!" one of her older cousins had called.

She rose, looked toward his house, and then went to her cousin's side.

"Tu madre va a estar enojada que tienes todo sucio en el parque," he teases her.

Santana brushes off her jean short overalls, her favorites with the Minnie Mouse applique, the best she can, but decides he's probably right.

"Silencio Julio!" she snaps, stomping along side him. At least her red shirt won't show too many marks.

"No deberías estar fuera solo de todos modos," he frowns. Santana is supposed to be at his house when her parents aren't home. They are a community and take care of their own, but they also don't just let little ones run around alone.

She shrugs, annoyed with him, the park is probably the safest area in the neighborhood. It's under the various gangs' protection, a sort of truce because it's where all their baby sisters and little brothers play. No one was at home anyway. She goes with Julio to her aunt's and is reprimanded, her mother scolds her again at dinner, but she thinks it might have been worth it anyway.

He's Noah, the little boy who makes her brave. He chases her and she chases him. They make messes, tease each other, and come back together to share popsicles. Rinse and repeat, _she isn't sure when the pattern stopped_.

"Come on, chicken!" Noah yells, "Don't be a baby".

Never mind the fact that she's the one holding his baby sister. The one they are supposed to be watching for the afternoon, Noah for free, but she's getting $5 out of this.

"What am I gonna do with her?" Santana frowns, looking at the one year old who is currently sucking on a bright red Popsicle. She's all cranky cause she's cutting a molar. In desperation the two had handed her the treat and it seemed to be working, though it was all over her face and hands now.

"Put her in the play pen," Noah says.

The play pen has clearly seen better days and looks like it's from when he was a baby.

"That thing's like 9 years old, how do I know it won't collapse?" she rolls her eyes, "I'm not getting blamed for that".

"You're just scared," he challenges.

And maybe that's a little bit true. Usually she hangs with Brittany now and while her ideas are off-the-wall they aren't usually dangerous. Maybe she is going soft.

Puck pulls up into the driveway, "Come on San".

She eyes the 4-wheeler skeptically. They shouldn't even be on it. Noah's dad has been gone for a year and a half and is behind on his child support. But he somehow managed to have that monstrosity delivered for Noah's birthday. His mom had been furious, insistent that he wouldn't get on it and they would sell it immediately. Which is why Noah was so eager to go, this might be his only chance. He didn't know yet that it would be the last gift he got, the last bit of contact he ever had with his deadbeat father.

Santana looks at the chubby cheeked baby "What do you say Ariella?" she whispers.

Noah points to something and she turns around. It's Finn walking up, Noah's _new_ buddy. All of a sudden a wave of jealousy overcomes her. Noah is going to get Finn to ride and totally ditch her with the baby, _yeah right_. She glares at him.

"What's wrong?" he asks confused, running his hand over his Mohawk, "Give Finn the kid and let's go".

Santana's anger eases off. She's about to say, _really?_, before she catches herself.

"Here Finn, don't drop her," she admonishes, shoving the baby into his arms.

Ari giggles and smacks him with a sticky hand.

Noah scoots back to let her sit in front of him. "Gas, pedals, steering, breaks, got it?" he says pointing to each in turn.

Santana nods, but she can't really hear him over her thudding heart. She manages a wide turn and gets out onto the street.

"Go on," he tells her, so she hits the gas.

It goes faster than she expected and they nearly hit a mailbox before Noah hits the breaks. Santana is petrified, and looks at him with wide eyes. Noah is a bit annoyed but the expression on her face just makes him sigh. She isn't scared of much, anything really, besides thunderstorms. He nods that she should move back and let him drive.

Santana clutches him tightly and they race back and forth down the block. Slowly she loosens her grip and starts to laugh.

"I want to drive," she says before realizing he can't hear her over the engine.

"My turn," she yells loudly.

Noah looks at her suspiciously, "Fine but don't wreck it or we will be in deep shit."

Santana flicks him in the head as they switch places, "Language Noah," she imitates his mom.

He slides behind her and puts his hands over hers to help her steer. She eases on the gas this time, slowly bringing them up to speed.

"I'll tell her it was all your fault," she laughs before going full pedal to the metal.

Her heart is racing again, but this time in excitement, she likes to go fast, and Noah will stop them from crashing. He laughs but even his eyes widen as they continue to accelerate.

"Slow down, speed demon," he shouts.

Her dark hair is secured in a ponytail but that doesn't keep it from blowing back into his face.

"Make me," she teases, grinning as they turn around in the cul-de-sac and blast past Finn and the baby.

No one else is around; most are households with two working parents and kids in summer camps. The one's that aren't have little babies and stay inside on hot, hot days like today. They are playing around, poking each other and laughing, turning around and coming back toward the house. She's slowing down to stop, but isn't quick enough, when they hit the lip of the driveway and fall.

Luckily they weren't really going as fast anymore. Noah has a skinned knee, Santana's wrist hurts a lot, but overall they are fine.

"Speed demon," he hisses, rolling the 4 wheeler back into place.

It isn't as fun anymore. Santana grabs a baby wipe, cleans Ari's face and hands, and takes her back from Finn. Her wrist aches and her eyes prick with tears that she blinks away.

"Here," she snaps handing the baby off to Noah when he walks back.

"Hey Hudson," he says taking his sister.

"Puck," Finn greets him.

All of the boys started getting serious about tackle football this summer. That's why Noah's been so busy, him and Finn are the best on the team. The coaches call the kids by their last names. So now everyone calls him Puck and he thinks he's cool.

Santana frowns cradling her wrist, this is dumb, forget the $5, she's going home. She grabs her backpack and shrugs it on, before starting to walk off. Puck and Finn have been in deep conversation about practice but he looks up when she starts to walk away.

"Where are you going San?" he asks.

She just continues walking.

"Santana!" he repeats, passing Ari to Finn.

"San!" he's running now and catches her by her wrist.

Santana yelps and pull away from him.

"Home. Okay Noah, you dummy. Finn can help you," she shouts.

Puck puts up him hands, "Yeesh, why are you so upset? And it's Puck now."

Santana glowers at him.

"You know what, if you're going to be like that just go home," Puck snaps in irritation, "Big baby".

She isn't, she swears, she was fuming and mad, and trying really hard not to cry. Her eyes fill with tears to her horror and Noah's.

"I didn't mean it," he immediately says nervously.

They tease each other without mercy, it's what they do, and suddenly she's changing the rules.

"It hurts," she sniffs displaying her wrist. He hesitates and then wraps his arms around her gingerly.

"Ice?" he offers.

Santana has started crying, and snuggles into him, proving how bad this is.

"Finn! Go call Mrs. Lopez," he yells, rubbing her back.

He's panicking now, reverting back to Finn instead of Hudson. Puck is the only nickname that will stick though high school.

"Let's go back to the house San, it'll feel better iced down". Santana clings to him but lets Noah lead them back.

"She just got back from work, she's coming now," Finn greets them stepping out of the house.

Noah sits on the picnic bench and Santana follows. Soon her mom is there, a flurry of action, kisses, owies, and a ride to the ER, a broken wrist, a cast for the rest of the summer, and her parents' worries.

But Puck remembers the in between, the way she clung to his hand when her mom moved her wrist, her begging him to come along and his refusal to leave Ariella with Finn, the way her eyes shone with pain as she bit her lip and the doctor realigned her bone, signing the bright red cast and taking up half the space, "Santana, Sorry. But at least you have a good story. It's your fault anyway speed demon. Though I don't think my mom will believe that. Hope it heals fast. ('Cause we have a lot more to do this summer). –Puck".

She spent a lot of time indoors forcing him to watch movies, but he made her play video games too. Normally she was pretty good, but with one hand he was beating her with ease. And occasionally he would push her on the swings.

His mother had been furious and the 4 wheeler was gone the next day. He still feels guilty sometimes when he thinks about it. It was his fault for suggesting the ride and goading her into it, she was the one driving too fast, but he knew better and didn't make her slow down. And he was talking to Finn when she was in pain.

Somehow she knows these things. It's the end of summer and they are roasting s'mores.

"It's okay," she says out of the blue, pulling a gooey marshmallow off her stick.

Brittany doesn't come around here, Finn has a cold, in the summer, I mean really.

"It wasn't your fault and it doesn't hurt now," San continues.

He is silent, but hands her the s'more he just made. She looks at him, and he _can't read her_ for the first time.

"Thanks," she says biting into the treat, "Thanks, Puck".

* * *

Noah becomes Puck and it feels like everything is changing. He's into football and his friend Finn has become his new best buddy. She's dropped ballet in favor of gymnastics but still hangs out with Britt all the time. They learn that they will protect each other and have each other's backs. Only for her to move to Lima Heights the following summer and switch schools. A year later and they are back together for middle school, but the time apart changes them. Her new fancy house and bedroom, his same old little house that used to be 2 blocks from hers. But they still have gangster movie marathons, I double dare you taunts, and each other. _The more things change, the more they stay the same._

* * *

Quinn is a nervous wreck before her third date with Finn.

"I promised him a double date and Brittany backed out. She forgot she had a dance competition. Of course she couldn't have told me Monday," she's rambling.

Santana is stretched out across Quinn's queen-sized bed. She thought she was coming to help her pick clothes not listen to some therapy session.

"Just ask another Cheerio, you're the captain," she shrugs, pointing to a hanger.

Quinn takes it out and holds it up against herself, posing in the mirror.

"Want to go on a date tonight?" she asks desperation tingeing the lighthearted words.

"I didn't mean me," Santana shakes her head, "Not on what is basically a blind date".

"Come on," Quinn says, "What else are you going to do tonight? Brittany won't be here".

Santana hesitates.

"It's another football player," Quinn sweetens the deal. That's as much as she's gotten out of Finn.

"Well, if you don't want to," Quinn drags out, reaching for her phone slowly.

"I'll go," Santana quickly replies, "Only because you need a favor. You'll owe me chica".

She's been spending too much time with Brittany, people are starting to wonder, and so is she. Thinking about kissing your best friend isn't normal and she needs to get over it quickly.

"Thanks, _chica_" Quinn teases.

Santana presses a dress into her hands, "Go change or we'll be late".

Quinn looks it over critically, then nods disappearing into her adjoining bathroom. The door clicks shut and her voice is muffled, "Borrow whatever you want, not white because you'd probably spill on it. Not the new one I got last weekend either, I haven't even worn it yet. Maybe I should try that one on…Not the yellow one either, I wore it last weekend and if people thought we had matching…"

Santana has been doing her makeup at Quinn's vanity. Now she flops down on the bed and tunes Q's speech out. Eventually Quinn walks out, spinning around to show off the dress's bottom.

"So what do you… Santana! Hurry up and change, we are going to be so late," she yells.

Quinn has grabbed her wrist and is attempting to tug her off the bed.

Reluctantly Santana sits up, "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Santana is wearing skin tight jeans and a red shirt with a deep v neckline, it's kind of her go-to for a 1st date, tight and low-cut.

"Come on, go put something nicer," Quinn frowns, shrugging into a sweater.

Santana isn't the tomboy she was as a little girl, but she didn't go dressing up for just anyone. The second date she'd let her hair down from the regulation pony, for the third a make out session with Brit, and the 4th she'd dress up if it got that far, all that mattered were the free meals she got out of it anyway. Most of the time it fizzled out before then. Matt had made the cut in middle school. She had dated him for a few months after Brittany started dating Mike. After that it had been a parade of guys.

Quinn looks like she's going to have a coronary though, cajoling and threatening her, _I'll make you babysit the freshman for a week_, so Santana reluctantly changes into a red lace dress that's probably the most revealing thing Quinn owns. Q offers her nice jewelry to wear, diamond studs and a Tiffany necklace if she leaves her hair down. Quinn is many things but sharing is not usually one of them, so Santana jumps at the chance.

At the restaurant Santana's mood has brightened.

"You could have led with, we're eating at Breadsticks," she smiles, even if they are a bit overdressed.

Quinn rolls her eyes and shoves Santana so she almost ends up stumbling into an empty booth.

"Hey Quinn," Finn says nervously.

Q suddenly turns all angelic and sweet, "Hi Finn" batting her eyes like she didn't just trip S.

"I brought Santana," Quinn points, as Santana scrambles to stand up and fix her clothing, "She's promised to be on her best behavior."

"Puck," Finn answers motioning over his shoulder with his thumb, "And I got no such promise".

Quinn blushes before forcing herself to remember, she's here for Finn, NOT Puck.

Santana looks cross and Quinn pinches her, "Be good".

"Hey," Puck greets, reaching his hand out for a handshake, clearly not having looked at who it is.

Santana shoves past him and stomps toward their table. Puck is speechless for a moment, he can't decide if it's the shock that San blew past him, or the way she looks all dressed up. He makes it a point not to go to school dances so the last time he saw her all fancy was probably his Bar Mitzvah a year ago.

"You look nice," Puck offers, catching her eye as they all sit down.

She purses her lips.

"Or you know, whatever," he concludes falling silent and turning helplessly toward Finn.

They fall into silence and listen to Quinn and Finn talk about school. _God this was boring_. Finally, thankfully, the breadsticks appeared. Santana grabs 2 so she can have a reason not to talk. Puck makes a dumb joke about how she likes to eat way too many breadsticks and they start to fall into their old rhythm. He's always teasing her about being too skinny but somehow eating all the bread.

Of course Finn has to take it the wrong way and defend her honor or whatever. Finn is red and stumbling over his words but insisting that Puck shouldn't talk that way. The rest of them are really confused until suddenly she gets it. And a silly joke suddenly becomes awkward.

"God no," Puck yells, "I meant the food," he gestures to the basket of breadsticks. Not anything, I mean, you know," words fail so he settles for gesturing to his lap, trying to laugh it off but looking mortified.

Quinn still looks perplexed, the poor innocent girl.

"Blowjobs," Santana says taking a small measure of delight in the shock on Quinn's face, "Finn thought Puck was talking about blowjobs".

Quinn is horrified and remembering she just had her first kiss Santana feels a little bad.

Quinn is red, people are staring, and Finn looks sheepish. Santana meets Puck's eyes and they both dissolving into inexplicable laughter. It gets better after that, Puck and Santana mock the other two and it all just fits. At the end of the night, Puck says they should do this again sometime, and Santana, much to her surprise, agrees.

* * *

They have ups and downs. Best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend aren't an easy transition. He jokes around more than she'd like, and she spends a lot of time with Brittany. He's immature and a delinquent; she's bossy and has a wicked temper. They have football practice and the Cheerios. She lives in Lima Heights now and he's still in Lima Heights Adjacent. But they also have a friendship to fall back on; all teasing has that friendly undercurrent. He's got her back and she's got his, just like they have forever.

He keeps tabs on her, especially when she goes to see her grandma and comes back into _that_ part of town. She forces him to go to a tutor, but will sometimes do his homework if he's had a long day. She plays with Ariella and talks to her every time she's over. He stays with her at night when both her parents are gone and Brittany's parents won't let her come over for the 2nd sleepover in a row. She comforts him on Father's Day and he holds her when it's storming.

He gets the wheelbarrow they take to Breadsticks and she bullies the manager into filling it. And as much as it annoys him, Puck lets her be close to Brittany. He pushes the barrow all the way to her house and the three of them eat until they might burst, or until Mr. Tubbington licks one.

Over time the two of them find a balance too. Puck treats Britt like another little sister and B acts like he's an obnoxious older brother, in private. In public they let each other have time with Santana like they've got joint custody. Sometimes it bugs her, but mostly it makes her happy that they both want to spend time with her and care enough to know she needs time with both of them.

Puck tolerates Brittany, even when it seems like they are closer that BFFs should be. What does he know, and every time he looks at Quinn he still gets butterflies, so fair's fair. He really honestly does love Santana, but…Quinn looks at him sometimes. When Britt and San and engrossed in discussion and Finn is oblivious. Quinn looks at him and she really sees him. And she gives a soft half-smile that makes him feel like everything is falling into place.

Then the bell rings, Finn, trained monkey that he is, picks up Quinn's books. Santana drops her linked pinky with Britt and comes over to kiss him. She pulls away, her brown eyes sparkling. And he loves this too. He loves this passionate, fiery Latina whose work her way into his heart over the past eleven years. He doesn't know what to do. So he just lets the tide of high school politics, drama, and love tug him along.

* * *

Santana is cuddled into his arm on the couch looking at him sleepily, messy dark hair, plaid snuggly old pajamas she'd never let anyone else see her in.

It's finally stopped thundering at 4am and she's falling asleep, "Night Noah". He sees the little girl he chased, the daredevil preteen tomboy, the beautiful woman she's becoming.

"Night San," he presses a kiss onto her forehead. It's just them, cocooned in a blanket, alone in the basement. And he loves her, and that's enough for now.

* * *

How does it go from that to this? From breaking up with him because he refused to pay for her movie ticket, _not unless we go to the action movie San_, to yelling about his credit score, to finding out he's Quinn's baby daddy, _they have always liked each other sure, but he was hers first_, to being "off" for weeks. She's still Santana and he's still Puck, so what changed?


	14. Santana, Snix, and Sexts

**Chapter 14: Santana, Snix, and Sexts**

* * *

She was trying really hard to be okay with Puck and Quinn. She could push her feelings down when Q was crying in front of her or when B was wrapped around her lounging on the couch. It was when she sat down to play Call of Duty and couldn't invite him over, when she had a crappy day and just wants to make fun of reality show contestants with him and ignore her feelings, and instead Britt chirps "Don't be mean to them San" "What's wrong?" And when her world is falling apart and she needs the one solid thing that's been there all along, but she can't call him, because he isn't supposed to be hers anymore.

_How can he not be hers when he's grounded her for the past eleven years? Why the hell is she letting Quinn destroy something that's been hers for way longer than it's been Q's? Like he would ever really choose Quinn over her._

San bites her lip; she could ask him over. She knows he's supposed to babysit with Q tonight. Quinn told her all starry eyed.

_Does maintaining one relationship make her a really crappy friend? Maybe she shouldn't straight up ask him to hang out. It would mean getting into the reasons why and she needs to do that face to face and can't at school. It would kill Quinn. Maybe she can just text him. But for someone everyone calls dumb he's pretty good at reading between the lines. She never just randomly texts him and can't start now. Sext! She can sext him. That would be typical banter. That would be her way of making up, apologizing without saying sorry. And he'll sext her back instead of paying attention to Quinn._ And she'll know she matters most, that at least to him she isn't second best. So then she can drop it. The texts start out sexy and get dirtier over time.

* * *

She's alone in her big house. Her parents are out at some fundraiser, or town meeting, or the hotel bar, or something. They're never home anyway. Britt is covering for another dance teacher who is out sick, teaching her favorites, the itty-bitty four and five year olds. Quinn is with Puck. Puck is with Quinn.

So she popped some popcorn, thought she heard a noise and hightailed it to the movie room. The media room had curtains on the wall to aid the surround sound system and threw shadows that creeped her out. As she headed up to her room, turning on lights along the way, she thought, _God Puck would call her wuss right now_. But she was used to her parents or at least her mom being home during the week and one of the three (B, Q, Puck) on the weekend. Her room is safe, the light from her lamp bathing the room and memories of past sleepovers buoying her.

She shouldn't sext him, she knows this, Santana sighs sprawling on her king size bed. If she wanted to, she could group text the Cheerios and have an invite to _the_ party and six offers for rides, or demand they come here and have the whole squad in her living room in 15 minutes, _minus Q and Brit_. She could snap her fingers and have any guy she wanted, _except Puck_.

Santana sighs again. This sucks.

She's the second choice for Sue who appointed Quinn head Cheerio and San sidekick. Because Quinn could last longest on top of the pyramid and got the cheerleaders to obey her orders first, Santana had hesitated, hearing Britt's voice, "Don't be mean" in her head before following through.

Second choice to the school that chose Quinn as their Queen because she ruled through apparent kindness and behind the scenes threats instead of an attitude and anger issues.

To her parents who have made it clear that work is their priority and she's an afterthought.

Second choice for Britt, whose coming closer and closer to choosing a dumb guy that she wouldn't have to hide, instead of a girl who refuses to be pried out of the closet.

For Quinn, who is vocal about her preference for Brittany's non-bitchy company instead of hers. Not that she can really blame her, Britt would be her first choice too.

But not to Puck, who would always choose her over dopey Finn and sweet Brittany. She rivaled Ariella in commanding his devotion, beating out even his own mom. He was the one she could tell all her problems to knowing he would beat up the bullies, chase away the hurt, and protect her at all costs. He put up with her shit and gave it right back. He was her best friend and pretty hot.

Santana can feel hot tears rushing to escape her eyes. _He won't choose Quinn. He won't. He won't. Right?_ She presses send and stares up at the ceiling. _Is this fair? Would she pick him over Britt if it came down to it? She won't ever have to choose, right?_ Because she hates to admit it but Britt needs her more, in a way that's aching and sure.

Puck breaks down and texts her back after the third sext. They continue in a nice rhythm building until around 10. _See you in school_, he texts her when their last round of salacious texts finish. _Sure, xoxo Snix_. She yawns and plugs her phone into its charger.

He chose her. But as she changes into pajamas and climbs back into bed, she gets a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. _Quinn, dios mio, what has she done_?! _Did he really choose her anyway? They were supposed to be hanging out and looking sad outside a convenience store until someone bought them beer, then it was going to be a night of superhero movies, until he bailed. Quinn is going to be devastated and Brittany is going to be pissed. It really is their fault for messing up the weekly sleepover, making her make plans with Puck, making him break them. That's not how they are going to see it. _Santana can feel her vision start to tunnel and get fuzzy at the peripherals. As her breathing speeds up, she hits one on speed dial.

"San," Britt answers her voice laced with sleep.

Santana can picture her, rubbing her eyes and pulling Lord Tubbington into a hug.

"Santana," Brittany repeats sounding worried.

"B," Santana chokes out.

Brittany rushes to put shoes on, "San, are you okay?" she asks, tiptoeing down the stairs and sneaking out of the house. She doesn't have her license yet, but she's a fast runner and Santana's only a few streets over.

"Tana I'll be right there, deep breaths. Okay? Match me," she says breaking into a run.

"I need you B," Santana whimpers, managing to have calmed her rising anxiety. "I think I really, really screwed up," she whispers.

And then Brittany is there, letting herself in the backdoor with the key she has on a necklace. One that she used to wear all the time when she was little and would lose it otherwise, now Britt keeps it on the long chain so its easier to find in her full backpack.

"I'm here," she says, kicking off her shoes and pushing the bedroom door closed.

Santana is thinking rationally now_, how could she possible tell B what she's done? Brittany will be mad she messed with Q, upset that she needed Puck that she chose him. She doesn't get that it wasn't a choice at all._ It was a no one is here, all alone, I need you habit. San sighs and buries her face in Brittany's neck.

"It's okay," Brittany repeats. She can feel Santana trembling in her hug.

"Whatever it is, we can fix it," she promises pulling back and brushing the hair off of Santana's face. She's surprised to find Santana isn't crying.

"Best friends, no matter what," Santana says flatly, trying to make it seem like the response won't matter.

Brittany frown in concentration, _what did she do that was so bad? This was worse than the time she was mean to Lord Tubbington. This was their parents are awful, grownup level bad_.

Santana can feel her heart dropping, waiting on Britt's response.

"That's what it means," Brittany says breaking out of her thoughts, "Best friends forever." She presses a kiss to the crown of Santana's head.

"That means forever and ever and ever. No matter what mean thing you do or dumb thing I say," she continues.

Santana cuts her off, her eyes flashing, "You are not dumb Brittany Susan Pierce". Right now, saying all the rights words, Brittany is the smartest person she knows.

"Ok," Brittany acquiesces, not in the mood to argue, it's a little lie, the agreement; the one thing Santana tells her that she never quite believes.

"You aren't really mean," she adds, reflecting on her words, "You're a big softie". Santana growls playfully. So cute that Brittany wants to kiss her, so she does, briefly.

"You're the best person I know, my favorite person in the world," Britt breaks off, Santana isn't ready to hear more, not _I love you_. But she might be one day, so for now she can wait.

Santana gives a small grin at the statement. "Me too," she yawns, "It's late, I'm tired". She settles down cuddling against Brittany.

"You're the one who woke me up," Britt reminds her, poking her gently.

Santana shows a split second expression of regret.

"I'm glad you did," Brittany says softly, "You always can, wherever, for whatever reason".

Santana curls against her, "Same carina," her eyelids drooping sleepily.

"Good night," they say at the same time, "Jinx you owe me a soda," they laugh, "double jinx," "jinx again".

"I give," Santana giggles, "I'll bring you an orange pop at lunch but you need to hide it from Sue".

Britt nods and they quiet down, eventually falling asleep. San is so distracting that Brittany forgets to press her for answers.

* * *

She wakes up sleepy, but content. Brittany is wrapped around her like she's a teddy bear. San hears noise from downstairs so her parents must be home. They adore Britt. Though they don't like quite how often she's here. Brittany's parents like her to be around anyway though, so it's mostly fine. San wiggles out of B's arms and kisses her nose, before heading downstairs.

"Hey Mija," her mom smiles, offering her a cup of fresh coffee.

Santana takes it silently and dumps in 2 sugars. What can she say, she's grumpy in the morning.

"Did you have a good night?" her dad asks.

"Si, Papi," Santana replies, avoiding eye contact, "Brittany…"

"You left me in your room," Britt pouts, as she enters the kitchen.

"Slept over," Santana concludes.

"Hola, Mr. and Mrs. Lopez," Brittany smiles, pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

"Hello Brittany," "Good morning Brittany," they answer in turn.

"How was Cheerios practice girls?" Mr. Lopez asks.

"Good," they reply at the same time. "Jinx," Britt mouths silently.

"And Glee?" her mom asks.

"It was really fun! Another school came and used our auditorium, they were good. But now we get to sing Hair and Crazy in Love mashed up and Mr. Shue asked me to demonstrate hairography," Brittany answers enthusiastically, taking the piece of toast Mrs. Lopez offers.

They look confused and Santana tries to explain, "A mash-up is when we sing two different songs that we put together remember".

At their nods she continues, bragging now, "Brittany was in charge of teaching everyone the dance".

Her parents congratulate Brittany. B smiles proudly. She really is good at this, but all Santana can think about is when she called the hairography "cool epilepsy". She got some looks of confusion, whether it was for the description or the use of the term, Santana isn't sure.

She can remember being in second grade and going to the hospital to get Brittany's ankle checked out, a possible sprain. There was a man having a seizure as they brought him in on a gurney. Brittany's eyes had grown huge in terror. But Santana's dad was the one who brought them in and told them the man had epilepsy, which made the man have seizures like that. Santana had leaned over to Brittany and whispered, "close your eyes", squeezing her hand tight, "Or pretend he's dancing." Evidently the term had stuck, and she had used it in the way only Brittany could.

* * *

After breakfast they head to cheer practice, she's the boss now. Sunday is church but for some reason Quinn is giving her the silent treatment, whatever. All too soon the weekend is over and Monday comes around.

Quinn has been texting the group chat giving a minute-by-minute description of her night of babysitting. _Really! Radio silence for two days and now this!_ It makes her want to gag, yell, and cry.

Quinn's most recent text pings, _Then we stared into each other's eyes on the front steps. He just gets me, you know? _

Yes, Santana does know. Because he was hers before he was ever Quinn's. _Shut up! _She texts back angrily without really thinking.

For some reason, Quinn takes this as an invitation to start expanding on her feelings for him.

Quinn laughs at Santana's sarcastic text. She can picture her imitating a Valley girl accent, and continues.

Santana starts to think of how her babysitting usually goes. The children are probably asleep around 10, so Puck no longer wants a fun time, the distractions are over and he can concentrate on Quinn. He ends their sexting. Without the brats to worry about, he can talk to Quinn and pretend to be all mushy. He picked having the best of both. The backstabber. So she ruins it for him in a fit of rage. She was trying to suck it up, she felt guilty after last night. But Quinn knew how to push all her buttons.

She slams Quinn's locker shut, "Keep your paws off my man. Clear?" she scoffs full of attitude.

"Who's your man?" Quinn asks, faking innocence.

"Don't play stupid tubbers," Santana snipes, trying to keep the fight from escalating using a nice-ish nickname, "Oh, and for the record asking someone to babysit with you is super 90s". _God, Quinn was so boring and predictable, babysitting really? _

"I happen to know Puck cares about me," Quinn replies, trying to keep her voice level, while throwing it in Santana's face. The _more than he cares about you_, is implied.

"Oh wake up!" Santana hisses getting into Quinn's face, "While you two were babysitting, Puck and I were sexting". She wants to hurt Quinn now, turn the knife, watch that serene stupid smile fall off her face. But deep down, she also wants Q to know that Puck won't commit. Quinn will be stuck in this town, they both will, and he'll cheat on her.

"Sexting?" Quinn asks confused. _Santana comes up with the weirdest phrases sometimes_.

"Sexy texting. Seriously, what era are you from?" she says exacerbated, _clearly Quinn needs quite a bit of help still before she understands high school lingo. She is such a goody-two-shoes. _

"While you two were playing house, Puck and I were trading super hot texts," she sneers watching Quinn's face break and then toughen back up.

"Why don't you check his cell phone? 'Cause my sexts are too hot to erase," she says looking Quinn up and down before pursing her lips and turning to leave.

Quinn stares after her with a look of distain.

* * *

Santana heads to glee during lunch, hoping Brittany hasn't heard about her showdown with Quinn. Another school is visiting so Mr. Shue told them to head to the choir room during their brief break. McKinley's glee club goes first demonstrating hairography. The dance is fun, right up their alley. It lets B show off her skills that everyone seems to forget and it's different from usual. Honestly, it lets her show off what she's learned too. Her hair is down from its usual pony, Sue believes that it detracts from showing off their cheer talent, but it makes her happy. Brittany seems content still and for a little while Santana can pretend her fight with Quinn has just a bad dream. The performance is high energy, fun, and the group ends ecstatic.

Then they take their seats to let the other group perform. Santana ends up between the Changs when Havenbrook visits, better them than Man Hands. She feels bad for Brittany who is stuck between her and Kurt. _Gag me_. Mercedes starts singing along and pulls S from her thoughts. Artie joins in, then they all start to oooo softly. The glee club files in on stage and starts copying hand signs. This is kind of fun, too, though she would never admit it, Santana has a knack for languages (Spanish, Dutch, French, and English of course, for now).

During actual glee practice after school, they sing "True Colors". Santana doesn't really want to think about her true colors, though this green t-shirt is definitely not her color. The Snix side she showed today wasn't all that nice. Green is the color of envy after all. But Quinn is back with Finn, their cutesy rhyming names. She's sitting between Brittany and Puck; this is how it is supposed to be. With them by her side, she can't be anything but satisfied.

* * *

**A/N: Next up, Quinn's side of the day. **


	15. She Still Feels Butterflies

**Chapter 15: She Still Feels Butterflies**

* * *

Quinn can't believe she's giving Puck another chance. But when she's alone at Finn's house because he's at football practice and his mom is at work, her mind drifts back to baking with Puck.

* * *

She has always loved baking, the precision of recipes, the knowledge that it will turn out right every single time. Even the hard ones like the temperamental soufflé which can sink, meringues with the egg whites which must be beaten just enough, can be mastered. Her love of baking along with arts and crafts, prompts her mother to say she will fit perfectly in a sorority and later as a wife.

Quinn can picture making cupcakes surrounded by a group of giggly girls. Her hair is up in a messy bun, but her outfit is spotless as they praise her expert frosting techniques. So different from Brittany and Santana, Britt who swoops her finger through the icing, Santana who steals tastes of the batter, even though there are raw eggs in there.

And later, she can picture herself in a 50s housewife style outfit, the dress, heels, pearls, and apron. A sweet five year old begging for a taste, she'd acquiesce of course, using a small spoon to take a bit of the frosting, "we have to wait until after dinner when your father gets home". For so long that's how she's pictured her life, it was unobtainable for a while but now; there was nothing to stop her from going to a good school and finding that husband. Except this pregnancy, which would trap her in Lima for 18 years. And a yearning for something more.

But when baking with Puck, staying here didn't seem like that much of a life sentence. It was fun, real; not picture perfect but falling apart like her parents' marriage. Here with him, might be better than out there with someone else. A little girl with her blond hair, his sister's curls, and his fearless attitude, messy hands, and a full heart.

He had come over all excited over $18, which was more than Finn had given her. For "our kid" he had claimed, the kid that he proclaimed "would be awesome with a Mohawk". She couldn't stop herself from correcting "my kid", my body, my choice, and my responsibility, if she chooses wrong it all falls on her. That is why she'll swear its Finn's, even if she has to turn away to stop Puck from seeing the smile tugging at her lips.

His face had fallen, crumpled then brightened again at the idea of the baby sharing his hairstyle.

He made her smile, unacceptable, so she had sassed back affectionately, "You're such an egghead".

He was touching her shoulder, giving her butterflies, "I'm not".

Staring into his eyes, she knows he isn't, not deep down. But this is getting too serious, too fast so she reaches over and cracks an egg on his head.

His surprise makes her grin widen. He retaliates with flour, thankfully from the package and not what she has already measured. So she tosses cocoa powder and a laugh at him. She loses track of who throws what, at one point he does toss her perfectly measured flour, but in that moment it doesn't matter. Because she can picture a life with him, full of laughter and jokes, knowing he's tried his best even as he forgets her birthday and brings flowers two days late with a sad puppy dog face, when he needs to be reminded of their anniversary outright and not just prompted.

Puck's arms are around her in an almost hug as he starts to pick her up then sets her down as she whips an ingredient at him. Because he'd write her songs, join her for lunch just because, love their daughter as much as she would, choose her and not mope after Rachel.

She's completely covered in sugar, flour, and cocoa powder. He's wiping off her face with his thumb, she's pretty sure he's about to kiss her. She isn't pulling away, when Finn barges in, "What the hell!"

Quinn's still slightly dazed as she smiles and replies, "We're baking," shooting Puck a glance.

"I can see that," Finn replied dryly.

"I'm gonna go change," Puck says brushing past them.

Quinn placates her boyfriend and tries to clean up.

* * *

Puck stole from the cupcake fund after baking, goodness knows how many cupcakes, over 100, for her. Sure, she knows they were laced with marijuana. She was warned before she ate one, though it was amusing to watch Santana pig out and get a messy red frosting stained face. He returned the money for her as well. Puck would be a good man, a good husband and father. Definitely not a Lima loser, he was cleverer than Finn, but didn't try as hard. She can picture the look on his face as she rolled away with Finn, _what if she chose wrong?_

Quinn pushed away her feelings like she was taught, only allowing little bubbles to appear in her mind. Terri wanted a baby so badly. Maybe Quinn would be better at hugging and kissing her, but Mrs. Schue could get her into the right preschool, buy her cute outfits, the latest toy, she would never want for anything. Puck would love her so much, but Mr. Schue would make a really great dad, supportive, encouraging, and kind.

She was all set, mostly, when Puck had come up to her with that book, How To Raise a Baby On $5 a Day, and no pressure. After that she told Kendra she wanted to keep her baby. Quinn figured it would be easier to tell her than Mrs. Schue, but she repeats it again. They were not pleased. She still wasn't 100% sure after their talk, she didn't confide in anyone else about her change in plans. _I'm keeping my baby_, she says over and over in her head, _I'm keeping my baby_, like maybe soon she'll believe it.

* * *

So after distracting Finn with Rachel, she was now going to be babysitting with Puck. Asking him was all nerves jumping "You wanna maybe babysit with me?"

His response soothed her, "Sure mama, when and where?"

It interfered with her Friday night sleepover, but Britt had cancelled first and she wasn't going to morning Cheerios practice anyway. _Poor Santana_, she thought briefly before being whisked away by thoughts of babysitting 3 hyperactive young boys and butterflies courtesy of Noah Puckerman.

As soon as she sees them, Quinn tells them her babysitting news. They don't react how she expected. Brittany warily casts a glance at Santana and bites her lip nervously.

Santana doesn't respond happily or explode in anger; she just puts up a fake smile, "Great, Quinn," and takes off, "Homework," she tosses out as an excuse.

Brittany gives her a weak smile, "That went better than expected".

Quinn looks at her perplexed.

"Everyone knows Puck is her man and she doesn't share," Brittany says with a shrug, "But maybe..."

Quinn smiles and finished the thought in a whisper, "Maybe she doesn't care because she has you. And you've always been hers".

Brittany lights up. Quinn starts walking toward their lunch table but Britt shakes her head.

"Even if she's not mad at you, San will be upset that she's all alone Friday night," B says taking a step toward the door, "If I can, I'll get us to come back in a few minutes".

They don't return, and Quinn has a choice, sit alone, with the junior varsity Cheerios, or the Glee Club. Alone she'll look like a loser, with JV and everyone will know it's because she doesn't have the popularity to sit with Varsity, and with the Gleeks her remaining popularity will plummet. Puck sees her and starts to walk over, it's sweet, but she shakes her head. They don't need to make a big scene in front of the entire cafeteria. So he's diverts his course toward the jocks. Finn waves her over, and she ends up between them anyway. Finn putting up with whipping sounds from the rest of the football team and Puck putting up with Finn.

Santana returns to spend time with her and Britt the rest of the week. But she sits there in stormy silence, frowning at Brittany when she thinks Quinn can't see. Likewise, when she thinks Quinn can't hear, Brittany hisses at Santana, "Stop pouting", "I'll see you Saturday and you'll see Quinn Sunday", "It's just one night". B deals out the tough love, though she feels guilty about messing up their tradition. Santana will manage a grimace that looks kind of like a smile. And Brittany will smile back and link their pinkies.

Santana is quiet as Quinn rambles on about her babysitting gig. She knows she should shut up, but she can't, "He brought me a book 'How to Raise a Baby on $5 a Day', and he's coming with me to babysit tonight. What if he's awful with kids? And realizes he doesn't want to be a dad. Of course he won't want to after this. I don't know why I asked him. I'm with Finn and Puck's going to hate this".

Brittany shakes her head, "It will be fine. You know how to babysit".

Santana looks like she wants to say something. Usually Santana is the one to talk her down, snap her out of her nervous moods. Instead she just takes a deep aggravated breath and barely manages not to roll her eyes.

Ten minutes of babbling later she snaps, "Quinn shut up, stop obsessing, it'll be fine or it won't but that's on him".

Quinn looks at her wide-eyed.

Softly Santana adds, "If I was betting, I'd be betting on him doing well".

"San," she says reaching out, but before she can touch her shoulder Santana is storming away again.

Britt frowns but lets her walk away. "This is getting old," she says watching Santana leave, "You'll be a good babysitter. Puck's good with Ari. You'll have fun".

Quinn nods, gathering her things, "Thanks B. You better get going so you're not late to practice".

* * *

Quinn returns Finn's home, walks in and waves to his mom who is lounging in front of the TV. Her mother would already be on her third glass of Riesling. Red wine with dinner and the holy sacrament, white every other night of the week.

She goes into the guest room, hers for now. After that first night, when Mrs. Hudson realized this would be a more permanent arrangement, she cleaned out the room for her. Quinn rummages through her boxes, she had the rest of her stuff now, for her babysitting kit.

A few newer kids movies, coloring books, stickers and such in a shoebox Bailey had decorated. She spends about an hour changing in and out of outfits before settling on her raspberry pink shirt and black pants. Usually she wears dresses, but with three little boys she has a feeling this is better. After refreshing her makeup, she pulls her hair half up with two skinny braids.

Quinn feels a little guilty waving goodbye to Finn's mom, "Off to babysit", but she _is_ letting him hang with Rachel.

* * *

The boys are terrors when she gets there.

"They just had a few pixie sticks and some brownies," Kendra says shoving a boy at her. Phil looks apologetic but walks out.

"No problem, Mrs. Giardi," she answers forcing a smile.

Puck walks in 10 minutes late, looks at her face and pulls the boy into the next room. They lose control quickly when Puck agrees to be the bad guys to the triplets' cowboys. He's distracted, texting someone. "Mike," he claims. She doesn't believe him, doesn't push him. He hits her hand, holds it briefly, and undoes the knot.

Then, thankfully the kids quiet down as he plays and she sings. It's awkward at first. The boys are staring at her expecting something great. But smiling at Puck she begins to relax. The dancing becomes less like segments of choreography and more like she's fooling around. Puck picked the song and she considers it in the back of her mind, "I'm keeping my baby".

After that the boys will do anything for a song. Puck plays Yellow Submarine as they take a bath and play with bath toys. After changing into pajamas the triplets settle into bed for the promise of a story and one last song. Quinn reads to them and then sings along as Puck plays Stay Awake from Mary Poppins. One by one their heads droop until they are all fast asleep. Puck and Quinn quietly sneak out of the room.

"Quite the repertoire of songs Puckerman," Quinn says sitting properly on the couch.

Puck slouches beside her and thinks_, repertoire, I know that word from somewhere_. He flashes back to Rachel standing in front of the Glee club, "I have an extensive repertoire. I know nearly every song from every musical ever made". It must mean like a lot or a wide variety.

"That's what having a little sister does," he shrugs.

He sends off one last text and puts his full attention on her. They talk, like really talk, about glee club, her family, the baby, football, his family, the future... She thought he'd be distracted and awful; send her running back to Finn. But he was awesome, they could do this. Terri and her sister were amazed to find the boys sleeping together in the king bed. She can't help the smile pulling at the edge of her lips, as they walk out the door, chatting quietly. _We can do this._

* * *

She's starry eyed and happy all weekend. Saturday she powers through her homework, picturing each problem bringing her closer to a diploma, the diploma to a job, and a job to her perfect life. She's trying to keep the lingering happy feeling. So Sunday Quinn blocks out everything but the priest at church. She ignores the stares, her parents' glares, and even Santana. She can't listen to her and not hear everyone else. Plus San is sitting with her parents and casa Lopez is not pregnancy friendly. Q thinks the church will get better as time goes on. Catholics are anti-abortion so hopefully when the promise of a new baby is more evident they will be supportive. Their church is big on babies and kids.

At school on Monday, Quinn is in a great mood. Mercedes even asks her, "What took the bitch out of you?" partially kidding. She can't help from bubbling over in the Unholy Trinity group chat, multiple times. Britt is sweet and excited, _I told you it would work_ out and_ you'll be great parents_. Santana doesn't answer besides her quick _Shut up! _so Q figures she's stuck in class.

Until Santana slams her locker shut. Quinn tries not to jump, startled.

"Keep your paws off my man. Clear?" Santana snaps at her.

"Who's your man?" Quinn asks, confused as to why Santana suddenly has a temper. It's not a major surprise though; the girl has major mood swings.

"Don't play stupid tubbers," Santana hisses. "Oh, and for the record asking someone to babysit with you is super 90s".

_Puck, she's mad about Puck. Why now and not all weekend? And that stupid nickname. She's pregnant, not fat, not like before. She'll lose the weight. And what is wrong with the 90s?_

Santana pushes all the right buttons.

"I happen to know Puck cares about me," Quinn answers. Santana needs to learn sometime. She isn't Puck's number one anymore. Quinn is coming first and her life is falling into place. She'll take over the Cheerios again next year with Puck and an adorable baby at her side. Taking Santana down a peg, trying to keep her voice level, while throwing it in her face.

"Oh wake up!" Santana hisses, getting much to close to Quinn's face for her liking, "While you two were babysitting, Puck and I were sexting".

"Sexting?" she asks confused. _Santana comes up with the weirdest phrases sometimes_. _Is that like special texting?_

"Sexy texting. Seriously, what era are you from?" Santana snaps in annoyance.

"While you two were playing house, Puck and I were trading super hot texts," she smirks.

Quinn can't help the hurt from flashing across her face. It wasn't Mike, she had known that. But why couldn't it have been Finn, or checking the football game's score, or anything else. She straightens out her expression, _don't break, not here in public_.

"Why don't you check his cell phone? 'Cause my sexts are too hot to erase," Santana continues.

It hurts. The fact that Quinn is certain she's telling the truth. San is harsh to the point of mean but nearly always honest. It isn't just their relationship. It's losing the baby, the idea of raising her; she could never do it alone. She can't do it with Puck, not if he's got girls on the side. Anger bleaches into the hurt, at Santana for telling her in the middle of the hallway, maybe for telling her at all, and mostly at Puck. For teasing a fantasy, making it so irresistible she almost believed in it too.

She clings to the rage and storms over to Puck's locker and snatches his phone.

"Hey babe. Um…You really don't wanna do that," Pucks rambles guiltily as she clicks to his recent texts and hits Santana's name. She's got those crazy eyes, the pursed lips, and a furrowed brow, a state he's coming to recognize and call "Loopy Quinn".

"You lied to me," is all she can manage in shock, holding up the proof in his face.

"I'm sorry. I tried to resist Santana. I did. But I'm young and girls have this power over me. But, hey, it's all good," Puck shrugs, hoping she'll laugh it off. He tried to resist, but honestly he didn't think San was just doing it for the sexts, so he gave in.

"It's definitely not all good. I thought you wanted to be with me," Quinn rages, hurt trickling in at the end. _This was stupid, following her heart_.

"I do. Like, a lot," Puck replies, he does. He likes her to the point of love, to the point of wanting a family one moment, and being terrified of screwing it up, turning into his father, having this all go south the next.

So he covers it up with "But you haven't given it up to me since the night I knocked you up, and baby, I'm a dude. I have needs". He knows that will turn Quinn off, the sex, the non-exclusiveness. He needs to be there for Santana, the one person he hasn't completely screwed up with yet.

"So, you expect to raise a baby with me and text dirty messages to every other girl at this school if I don't give it up to you every day?" Quinn asks horrified.

"No. Just the hot girls," Pucks tries to joke, falling flat. Better not to single her out, the girls need each other.

"Look, I'm going to be a good dad, but I'm not going to stop being me to do it," he backpedals, he wants this baby, wants Q, most of the time. But he can't stop being him, lewd comments, guitar playing, and being there for Santana, Ariella, and his mom.

As Quinn walks away, her yellow dress swirling, a white sweater tugged close, he doesn't just want to be himself, Puck wants to be better.

Quinn is teary eyed as she walks away, the anger giving way to pain. _It's settled_, she puts it out of her mind and heads to Honors English.

* * *

Telling Mrs. Schuester, "You can have her," breaks her heart. There are no tears though; it's time someone put this baby first. The baby needs a good dad. She needs more, more than Quinn ever had. And Mr. Schue will be a good dad, one of the best. Still she asks for reassurance from his wife, this baby needs the best home possible, needs the most love possible.

When Mr. Schue comes in she feels like she's intruding, "I was just leaving, so".

She gets up and can't help pausing in front of him. Glancing at Terri, she still steps forwards. He will be a good dad, she promises, hugging Mr. Schue. She's teary-eyed now and feels like she's about to come apart. His arms come up to hug her in surprise. She rests her check against his brown leather coat, takes a moment, takes a breath. He's a good hugger, strong and present. He'll make a good dad.

She draws back trying not to cry, not to picture him cradling her baby girl, being the man she'll call daddy. It hurts, thinking about giving her up, about Puck failing her.

"Later Mr. Schue," she manages rushing out, grabbing her coat off the chair.

Images fly by, of him hugging a toddler after her first steps, a little girl after a dance recital, a pre-teen before bed, a teenager who looks remarkably like herself after a bad day. A girl needs her father, Quinn knows this, she thinks about her dad all the time, even after being kicked out. A girl always needs her daddy.

* * *

She can't stop crying that night. All she wants is to be reassured she made the right decision. She'd settle for being wrapped in Finn's arms. But his door is down the hall and probably locked.

In school she talks herself in and out of it. Finally she finds him. "Hi". "Hi".

"Can we be in love again?" she says softly.

"I have to tell you something first," Finn replies nervously, "I uh want us to be honest with each other no matter what".

She's hoping it's not that bad.

"You can tell me anything," she promises. _Nothing can be as bad as what she's done to him._

"Cool uh it's not really even that big a deal. I mean I didn't actually do anything. But the other night when you were babysitting," he rambles.

P_lease don't say you kissed her. Please don't say you kissed her._

"I kind of went over to Rachel's house," he continues.

_Remember this was your plan_ she thinks, even as a hurt sigh slips out.

"But nothing happened. I… Just was worked up about us fighting and then she put on this really weird cat woman suit, and so I think something could have happened, but it didn't. Because I only want to be with you."

"It's all right. Thank you for being honest with me," Quinn says. Like each word didn't break her heart, like she didn't deserve the pain, _I only want to be with you_. She's such a hypocrite, she can't be honest or she'll lose him for good, and she can't handle that right now.

"I love you Quinn," he says in a rush, pulling her into a hug.

"I love you too," she breathes. Looking upward, lying is a sin. But this is true, she loves him, _her first kiss, her first boyfriend, her safety net_, but not the way she loves Puck.

They walk down the hallway wrapped up in each other's arms, talking about plans for after school, smiling. He makes her feel safe. Puck didn't work out, but this could, after all when she looks at him she still feels butterflies.


	16. Just Smile

**Chapter 16: Just Smile**

* * *

Of course God would make Santana left-handed and Brittany right-handed. So they could sit across from her, pinkies linked defacing old yearbooks. Rubbing their happiness in her face. Santana had apologized, or as close to it as Quinn figured she'd get. But it was clear they had to keep their distance and be strategic at school or risk slushee facials themselves. She thinks Santana would risk it if she wasn't protecting Britt and Brittany wouldn't mind if it didn't upset Santana. But that's not how it worked, so she sees them in class, glee, celibacy club, what a joke, but not at lunch or in the halls. Quinn understood, but that didn't mean it wasn't lonely.

Santana thought Quinn seemed more down today than usual and suggested leaving for lunch and taking her with them. Britt had nodded and then added that they should go to the library since no one in McKinley really studied and they could color the yearbooks. They had each come up suddenly, grabbed Quinn's arm and dragged her off. Santana thought this could be a more permanent solution. Lying about a class, or going off campus, or practice and then heading to meet Q.

Quinn looks at their pinkies again and sighs. There is some cutesy story behind it that Brittany's told her before and of course Santana would never go for handholding.

Santana laughs, nudging Brittany "Oh, that's got the whole flag". Brittany smiles back and adds a bit more detail.

Quinn looks at them wistfully, in their matching Cheerios uniforms, happy to deface yearbooks know their photos would never be touched. They twirl their ponytails in unison and Quinn looks away. _I miss my cheerios uniform. It made me feel safe, contained. Even when I was feeling left out, at least I looked like I was a part of something_. She used to match them; she used to look like she fit. Even if they always had a special bubble, she looked like she was part of the group.

Santana catches her eye and flips the book pointing to Britt's pink sharpie job on Rachel. Quinn forces a laugh, her hand coming up to her necklace, she turns it into a neck rub instead. Why does she suddenly miss them when they are five feet away? It feels like an unsurpassable gulf.

At the bell, Brittany scrambles out quickly, her next class is on the other side of the building. Santana grabs her bag, rises, and looks around. Then she makes her way around the table, next to Quinn. One arm is still holding a yearbook, the other wraps around Quinn's shoulders.

"Don't look so sad Q," she says kissing her on her right temple.

Quinn's lip wavers.

"You have study hall right?" Santana asks, not waiting for an answer, "Draw a good one," she demands dropping the yearbook in front of her.

Quinn takes it.

San purses her lips, then the warning bell rings, so she waves goodbye. Walking to class she thinks about how easy it is to show affection to Quinn, of course she looked around to make sure no one was there first, but even if they were it didn't mean anything. It used to be that easy with Brittany. But now each touch was a promise for later, each smile meant more, and she didn't know what to do with it.

Quinn remains sitting at the table. Santana and Britt took the sharpies, so Quinn just flips the Thunderclap open instead.

_I want my kids to be able to look back at these books and see who I was, make them proud._ She thinks, staring at the first photo. Quinn's at the center, the pom-poms forming a McKinley M so only the Unholy Trinity's faces are visible. She was a star, a somebody, someone who commanded respect.

_Not the bastard one I'm carrying now, of course, the ones I'll have when I'm married and ready._ She lies to herself. Of course she wants her children to look back and be proud. But if this baby ever starts looking for her, she wants to her to find Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader. The girl who is pulling faces with Brittany in the candid section. The girl who is on top of the pyramid and has a title proclaiming her captain. A girl who is interesting enough for her child to keep looking, to seek her out.

She stares down at the picture of her and Sue. _I might not look like the head cheerleader anymore, but I'm still her on the inside._ She wants to be the HBIC that made Sue proud. As screwed up as their coach is, her coach was, she corrects herself, she cared. Sue showed it in the worst of ways, but to her, Quinn mattered. And that's more than she can say about her parents. In the picture they look alike, blond hair, light eyes, big smiles. How dare Sue cast her aside! After all she's done to make the squad look good, to make Sue look good.

_I'm done playing the victim. When that cheerleading picture is taken for the yearbook, I'm going to be in it and back on the squad, whether Sue Sylvester likes it or not. _She decides slamming book shut and gathering her determination.

* * *

"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity," Rachel says following her in the hallway. "No way," Brittany replies quickly, much more interested in meeting up with Santana than putting up with Rachel. "Why not?" she asks. "Because I don't want to be in a picture with you, it get defaced," Brittany states, deciding being blunt will end this conversation quickest. "No it won't," Rachel counters. Brittany tries hard not to roll her eyes, "Yes it will. I'll be the one doing it".

Brittany started the annual defacing of yearbooks for their grade. She has always loved coloring. Rarely inside the lines and often making blue grass and purple skies because where's the fun in copying what already exists. None of them are artists by any means. Quinn is a whiz with a camera digital or in the creepy dark room that reminds her of horror movies. Santana is the best at caricatures, cute ones of B posing in class, nasty ones of Rachel on the bathroom stall, ones etched into the desk during detention. In contrast, Brittany is the best at defacing yearbooks. She knows what to draw to get the laughs from the football team, the other Cheerios, her best friends. None of them can draw, not more than the man in hangman, but maybe they are artists.

* * *

When they get to the mattress store, it feels like the first time Q's been happy in days. Kurt is fixing her makeup and Finn is smiling at her. They run lines and she looks expectantly at Finn. His "Ah me," is about as fake as she figured it would be. "We just lost our jobs," Puck begins, pausing to look at his script, "at the factory". "And we can't get a good night's sleep," he concludes acting depressed. Quinn can't stop her small smile, he's overacting and awful, but he's trying. As Rachel begins her chipper monologue the smile fades, because first, Rachel is annoying, and second, this script is stupid.

Rachel picks "Jump" as she re-vamps the commercial and the whole club is excited. Brittany gets to show of with flips, tucks, and splits. Santana can't stop smiling watching her and Brittany's grin widens every time they catch each other's eyes. Afterwards they change into their clothes and leave. Brittany smirking suggestively and Santana rushing off after her.

* * *

Quinn is resolved. The following day she corners Sue in the hallway. "Coach Sylvester, we need to talk," she demands.

"Oh, I got nothing to say to you, preggo," Sue sneers.

Quinn continues, keeping it succinct, "The cheerios' photo is tomorrow, and I want back on that squad".

"Oh, is that what you want? Well, what I wanted was a head cheerleader who wasn't going to hoist her legs behind her ears in the backseat of the first station wagon she could jimmy open, throwing away any chance she ever had in life," Sue counters.

She tries to stay sweet at first, appeal to Coach's decent side "It would be good for the school. Show everyone that appearances don't matter. That sometimes people have to deal with a little adversity. I learned that in glee club".

Of course the reply she gets is, "Well, that little educational proverb must have slithered from Will Schuester's mouth right after his lesson on how to disqualify yourselves from sectionals".

"What?" she asks thrown off track.

"Saw your little commercial last night. Boy, did you glee kids step in it," Sue answers.

Coach Sylvester disappears before she can reply. It doesn't matter though, after she tries to play nice Quinn isn't afraid to play dirty. A captain is only as good as the information she has, and Quinn has plenty. That comment was a low blow. It didn't happen in a car, but Quinn is afraid that she's giving up any chance she had of making it out of Lima. The percentage of kids who go to college after high school here is fairly low, the percent that don't return afterward even lower. She wants to be a housewife, maybe, but not here. Somewhere far away, like New York, where she can plan charity balls and sit on the board of the hospital, all while making elaborate dinners and doing crafts with her perfect children for the science fair.

* * *

During her free period, Quinn goes to talk to coach again. "Ms. Sylvester," she says stepping in without knocking, dropping the Coach.

"It's like looking at a porno star in a nun's habit," Sue quips.

"I wanted to show you that it still fits. My baby bump isn't that bad, it's just like I had a big lunch," she tries. The excuse worked on her mom, kind of, lots of tacos. Quinn was actually a little impressed it fit. The uniform made her feel strong.

"Take it off," Sue demands, "You need to get it through your pregnant head, there's no way you're getting in that photo or back on the Cheerios. End of story".

She can't help her mouth, "You're a hypocrite".

"Excuse me?" Sue says acting surprised.

"I just heard that you got glee club's amateur status revoked over a mattress, while you are constantly showering the Cheerios with swag. I've gotten free shoes, complimentary tanning, haircuts; the season tickets to Cedar Point- we sold those on eBay for a profit. It seems to me that if Figgins found out, you would get banned from competition," Quinn says.

The perks were pretty nice, free gym shoes for practice, free shoes for school, because if she wore them everyone would, tanning, her expensive cut and colors at high-end salons. Britt was majorly bummed about Cedar Point, Santana ambivalent, Quinn unsure. The rides sounded fun but not the cramped lines. She had a thing about tight spaces. They had taken Britt for her birthday. B ate her weight in cotton candy, Santana teased Q about being a germaphobe and having OCD, but they had hit every ride.

"Fine," Sue gives in, "You're back on the Cheerios. I'll put you on full-time dry cleaning duty and shove you to the back of the photo to hide your shame".

"I'm not finished. Glee club gets a full page photo," Quinn adds to her demands.

"That's not up to me," Sue tries to get out of it.

"You are giving up one of the Cheerios' six pages and you are giving it to the glee club free of charge," Quinn qualifies. They don't really need that many. She can cut the freshman photo. Quinn just wants her face on two or three. Preferably one pyramid and one close up, one proclaiming her captain and one with her best friends.

"You know, Q, I'd forgotten just how ruthless you really are. You're like a young Sue Sylvester. Now, get out of my office if you can manage to squeeze through the door without your water breaking all over my new carpet," Coach replies.

In between the abuse, Quinn thinks she hears a compliment. At one point, being compared to Sue, ruthless and determined, would have made her happy. Now she just feels shame. Shame for still wanting her praise, shame for wanting to be like that, she needs to do better.

"You know what? I don't think I want to be a Cheerio after all. I don't want to be on a team where I only appear to belong. I'd rather be a part of a club that's proud to have me, like glee club," she proclaims, fire in her gaze.

Regret fills her the moment she says it. She just gave up safety, time with her friends, power, for what? But she keeps her head high and walks out like she means it.

They get their yearbook photo. She changes with the girls out of her uniform, trying to ignore the memory of the squeals of glee when Britt had spotted her in it, and into a white dress. The girls had just finished Cheerios photos and while B had been happy, San had teased her for missing the picture. In the glee club photo she smiles, but it's bittersweet. In the moment, she can laugh but when she thinks of what she gave up her heart drops. Quinn finally understands the lyrics "Smile though your heart is breaking, smile even though it's aching".


	17. Forever United Here Somehow

**Chapter 17: Forever United Here Somehow**

* * *

She thinks of the way Puck had rushed to Quinn's side.

"Think we're supposed to get hot towels," he had said nervously.

He had shoplifted a _What to Expect When Your Expecting_ book but only made it two pages before resorting to movies. She made him a list with Brittany after he'd asked. Look Who's Talking was Puck's favorite. Britt suggested Where the Heart Is and Waitress. Santana added Baby Mama and Juno. Later on they tacked on Knocked Up. Clearly not much had stuck with him.

It was close though, Rachel had been watching like a hawk and frowned at Puck's intrusion. She and Britt had been paying attention too, making sure she had just slipped. They didn't come forward though, too many people. It was hard but for her Britt always came first.

* * *

Merecedes had blabbed to everyone. She wasn't really sure how Cedes had figured it out. She hasn't gotten much alone time with Quinn to suss her out on the whole thing and she couldn't ask Mercedes without admitting that she had already known. Puck wasn't aware as far as she knew.

Even as she walks down the hallway with Brittany and says, "We just heard. Who told?" Santana can't believe she's invested enough in Glee, in Quinn, to conference call with the gleeks.

She is even offended when Artie says they assumed it was her. A few months ago it would have been but now she isn't even sure why.

"To get back at Puck. Aren't you guys dating?" Kurt asks.

It's brave of him to challenge her, so she's blunt.

"Sex is not dating," she says immediately.

It's her go to response when things get too close with Britt. But it's true for Puck, he's a good lay it makes then both relax. He isn't hers now, dating is off the table for Quinn, for Puck, for San who's protecting her heart. But sex isn't dating.

"If it were, Santana and I would be dating," Brittany quips. She's used to the line coming when she's tangled in bedsheets and deals with the pain with humor, not when they are on a party line with four other people.

"Look I don't want to rock the boat. Since Quinn got pregnant, I'm top dog around here," Santana follows up quickly, her eyes flying to Brittany's face.

Let them think she's a brat, more worried about the favors she gets from being Cheerios head captain, even if Sue won't make it official, then sectionals, Puck, or Quinn. Let them roll their eyes and say she doesn't have the top spot. Or accuse her of tipping off Rachel. Or just about anything besides focusing on the line that just came out of Brittany's mouth.

Everyone knows they make out to score free dinners, to turn on their dates at dances, or when playing spin the bottle at parties. Santana is willing to do body shots off Britt to look cool. She isn't willing to admit anything more. No one knows that they do more than that, maybe Q. It can't get out. Let them think it's a joke, a Brittanyism, anything but the truth.

She's grateful when Mercedes moves on, focusing on Rachel passing her. She doesn't know what is said next. All she feels is relief.

When they hang up at the same time and link pinkies her pounding heart slows. Brittany complains about the white thermal turtlenecks that keep them warm but look hella ugly. The boat remains unrocked.

* * *

Quinn comes up to her in the bathroom. She looks around before stepping up and tapping San on the shoulder.

"I've missed you," she says softly, looking in the mirror but catching her eye.

Santana caps her lip gloss and smacks her lips together. She turns and quirks her lip thinking.

Then smiles and tugs her into a quick hug, "Missed ya too Q".

Quinn lets a quick smile blossom then steps up to the mirror. _She fixes her long blonde curls with the same precision she used to spend on her Cheerios pony_ Santana thinks. She laughs at the similarity, _you can take the captain out of her uniform but you can't take the captain out of the girl_.

Quinn pulls one piece of her hair forward then looks at her questioningly.

Santana shakes her head.

Quinn move ahead, "I've seen Brittany outside of school and you know around," she says stumbling on the last part of her sentence.

Her face betrays the question her mouth hasn't asked, _where have you been?_ Then just as quickly the mask is up, an indifferent _I prefer her anyway_ air portrayed.

Santana sees it anyway. They have a shorthand, not as developed as her and Britt's, but an unspoken communication nonetheless. It's how they can dance in sync without practicing, harmonize and switch leads, know when to push and when to give space. Lately, Santana can feel it slipping.

"I've been busy," she allows. Britt had Quinn, she had Puck, Britt, Cheerios duties, church, glee, celibacy club which was falling apart I mean come on who would buy it coming from her, her parents and the mess that was becoming, her abuela, Sue breathing down her neck about being "as good as Q used to be, before she got knocked up and ruined everything".

Quinn tries to keep the offense off her face. _She's been busy. I need her help, I need her help,_ she repeats to keep from exploding.

"What's up?" Santana asks pulling out a nail file. _It's a bad habit but better than like biting them, ew!_

Deep down she knows it must be pretty bad if Quinn is coming up to her in school.

"Rachel said that um," Quinn hunts for the word.

_Oh my god, Rachel knows. She's going to tell Finn and he'll freak out and everything will fall apart._

"So will you?" Quinn asks nervously.

"Yeah of course I'll..." Santana trails off, _how will she shut Rachel up?_

"Were you even listening?" Quinn frowns, shaking her head.

"Kind of," Santana shrugs sheepishly, trying to buy herself more time.

"Rachel says my baby could have Tay, Tay whatever so I have to get some Jewish baby test," Quinn repeats.

"Wait what?" Santana blurts out.

"Puck says he has fight club tonight so he can't go. Which, by the way, is that really a thing? But anyway, I was sort of wondering if maybe you would".

"Spit it out Quinn," Santana finally snaps, "Yes it's a real thing. And yeah I guess I'll go with you to get some Jewish test or whatever".

"Don't know why you didn't ask Britt," San mumbles to herself.

"What?" Quinn asks picking up her bag.

"Why didn't you ask Brittany?" Santana repeats, picking up her own backpack.

Quinn pauses. _There's always a fine line with Santana, between her ego and her protective streak. Honestly if there was bad news she didn't think Brittany would be much help for coming up with a new plan._

"Because I wanted you," she finally says pushing the door open and walking out.

* * *

In glee, Mr. Schue is getting replaced with Ms. Pillsbury. Santana totally doubts her leadership and musical abilities. Anger is her first response but it's pretty defused by Brittany's comment, "She's the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker".

Brittany found a bird with a broken wing outside the school and made it a nest in her pencil case out of Kleenex. It was a really tiny bird, though they never put effort into finding out what kind.

Britt gave it leftovers from her lunch. That bird ate anything from croutons to pasta. "But not chicken 'cause that would be cannibalism San!"

She'd figured out how to give it a drink after Brittany dumped half her water bottle on the thing. They had filled a water bottle lid with water and set it on the nest. Periodically Brittany would bring it sticks or little drawings for "decoration".

The bird was dumb and Santana figured it would die in a few days. But the sneaking around, secret keeping, spending time with Brittany part was fun. They even kept it from Quinn, the rule-following blabbermouth. It was two weeks before anyone found out.

The stupid bird was healed enough to flap and squawk and whatever else birds do, when the janitor opened the locker. Boy, she wishes she could have seen his face.

Brittany all earnest, "I don't know how that got in there. Are you a magician?" The girl could lie her ass off when needed.

The bird flying out into his face before pitifully landing a few feet away. And Ms. Pillsbury taking one look at the scene and dragging Britt into her office.

"It was so boring San. She started talking about birds, then diseases, then somehow she was onto do I feel like a bird, like in a cage or do I want to fly. You're lucky I didn't tell on you and make you join me," Britt had complained stretching out on the bed.

"Yes, thank you B," she placates.

"You owe me Santana Lopez," Britt says giving her a sly grin.

"Name your price," Santana responds, ready to launch into a tirade about not even wanting to take care of the dumb bird if the price is too high, cause she isn't giving up her Christmas candy.

"Hmm," Britt teases pretending to think hard, "I'd say it's about 25 kisses worth".

"Deal," San agrees smooching her cheek, "one". Another lands on her forehead, "two", her elbow, "three", her knee "four".

"I meant on the lips," Britt pouts, giggling at the sensation.

"That wasn't in the deal," Santana answers, pressing another onto her shoulder blade "five". She holds off until 25 before finally kissing her lips, pulling back after a chaste peck.

Brittany rolls her eyes, "Thanks San".

She just gives a cheeky grin and turns on the TV.

* * *

Horror is written across the faces of the entire glee club. Santana throws in a little disgust too. Really, Finn had to stoop to beating someone up in the middle of class. Puck would have dealt with it swiftly outside class so he didn't get caught.

Quinn can't move. Everything is falling apart right before her eyes.

"Tell the truth," Finn demands.

"Punk just walked in and sucker punched me," Puck fires back.

"Don't play dumb," Finn yells "You're too freaking dumb to play dumb".

Quinn feels like she can't breathe. She's never seen Finn so angry. _He doesn't get mad, not like Puck. It was on her sheet of pros and cons._

But when he asks, she steps between and then beyond Puck and Mr. Schue, her safety nets and replies, "Yes, Puck's the father", because he deserves the truth and so much more.

"All that stuff, the hot tub, you just made that up," he stammers.

She can't stop crying, doesn't even try to wipe away her tears, just turns her head, she can't bare to look at him, can't bare to see the rage and hate all over his face.

Puck's angry that Finn is going after Quinn. She doesn't deserve his anger. Plus he's still hurting after the "dumb" comment. Puck might not be the brightest but he didn't expect that to be brought up by his best friend.

So he can't help his mouth, "Yeah and you were stupid enough to believe it".

_Her white knight whether she wants him or not._

But all she can think about is Finn. She's losing her one good thing, "I'm so sorry," she begs.

When he points at her and says "I'm done with you", it feels a little bit too much like when her father kicked her out.

Suddenly she realizes in effect it's the same thing. She's homeless again. She keeps messing everything up.

He storms out and Quinn tries to catch her breath, to stop the tears from becoming sobs.

It's all too much and she runs out after him. "Finn," she starts to yell, the word dying on her tongue. The hallway is empty and she doesn't have it in her to chase him. Instead she sits in the alcove seat outside of the classroom.

* * *

It feels icky needing to choose between them. Brittany looks like she's about to cry, Puck's hand is up against his cheek, and Quinn's gone. Rachel is about to walk out the door and she needs to make a choice. T_he hobbit looks regretful but she doesn't know if it's for Quinn or Finn. God it better not be Frankenteen._

She stomps over to Rachel, "Listen man hands, if you hurt her, I'll hurt you," she glares, hoping that's enough. She loves Q but Puck's got ten years on her as BFF.

Mr. Schue has disappeared, probably to drag Ms. Pillsbury back in here. Everyone is gathered around Brittany, trying to cheer her up and avoid the drama. Although that's where she wants to be, Santana turns to Puck.

"Let me see," she bosses, trying to pry his hand away from his face.

"Ow! Santana," he complains pushing her away.

Too bad she's not afraid to go head to head with him, "Stop it Puck, I'm helping you".

When she can see, she purses her lips.

"You'll live," she shrugs, "I don't even think it'll bruise. Either Finn is weak or he was pulling his punches".

"Thanks San," he says rolling his eyes, "I was waiting on your approval".

She flicks the side of his head.

In response he walks away, nodding his head to the door, "Quinn".

Now that they are taken care of she rejoins the rest of the club. Thankfully they are still so sidetracked they didn't witness her and Puck. She's got a reputation to protect.

One that contrasts with her next action as she slides into the chair beside Brittany.

"You okay Britt-Britt?" she whispers.

Brittany nods and settles her head onto Santana's shoulder, "Better now".

The rest of the club is trying to decide on their stance. It doesn't matter to her if they choose to support Rachel or Finn or Quinn or Puck. Nothing will sway her mind.

"We have to admit it, Rachel is our best singer, at least our best female" Kurt argues, "she's got a big mouth but she's telling the truth".

"Oh come on," Mercedes says shaking her head, "Everyone knows Rachel was thinking about Rachel and crushing on Finn. Not trying to protect the club or spread honesty".

"Preach!" Artie agrees, "Quinn and Puck were the ones lying though".

"Does th-th-that excuse like one p-p-punch from Finn?" Tina asks the group. She admitted the stutter was fake but sometimes, especially when she's nervous, it comes back.

Santana has been talking softly to Brittany.

"I faked a laugh and they left me alone," B explains, asking after Puck and Quinn, "They were mostly arguing if Finn would show up for sectionals. They were pretty divided".

"Maybe they deserved it," someone says.

It catches her attention and pulls her into the conversation.

"What? Are you kidding me?" San yells. It's out of her mouth before she can think twice.

Santana admits she has twisted standards, slushies, patriotic wedgies, insults, and dumpster tosses are all okay. Physical punches and anything aimed at the few people she considers friends, are unacceptable. (Not that she won't threaten physical violence when she's really pissed off).

"Están locos. No es aceptable a golpear, a nadie! Especialmente ellos, mis amigos. Soy de Lima Heights Adjacent y si ustedes hablan sobre ellos otra vez" she continues.

Then mercifully the bell rings, before she can embarrass herself any further. Brittany just about drags her out of there, leaving the rest of glee club in stunned silence. Not at her tirade but at the cause.

* * *

Santana's heart is pounding as Brittany pulls them into the locker room.

"Chill out San," Britt says pushing her to sit on the bench.

"I'm fine," Santana frowns, "They are the ones who aren't going to be if they keep running their mouths," she threatens, starting to stand.

Brittany shoves her back down, "Calm down, tiger".

"Britt I have to go back out there," Santana insists, her voice breaking, "Nobody can talk about them like that, but especially glee club, they're supposed to be".

"Different" she concludes at the same time Brittany says "Our friends".

"They are supposed to be our friends. They shouldn't be taking sides, I know. But you can't just fight anyone you don't agree with," Brittany sighs sitting beside Santana and leaning against her, "Then you'll get grounded, or have to talk to Ms. Pillsbury, or be in detention".

"Sue keeps us out of detention," Santana says rolling her eyes, "But I'll behave, for now. One more comment and".

"Yeah, yeah, big baby," Britt teases pulling Santana to her feet, "come on we don't want to be late".

"You're lucky you're cute," Santana grumbles pulling on her backpack.

* * *

Quinn is sitting alone thinking about how she's ruined everything, again, when Rachel walks up.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel apologizes, "I fully understand if you want to beat me up. If you can, just try to avoid my nose."

It's a little funny, enough that's she scoffs. Rachel actually flinched. Quinn has never been one for physical beatings, she doesn't even know how to throw a punch, though she is a great slapper. And of course Rachel's biggest concern is protecting her giant nose.

Quinn decides to stick with honesty, "I'm not mad at you. All you did was what I wasn't brave enough to do, tell the truth".

_Maybe if she had been upfront with Finn from the beginning... It would have been a mess, but perhaps better than this. He wouldn't raise someone else's child but maybe he'd still be her friend._

"I was selfish when I told him. I wanted to break you two up, so he would want to be with me," Rachel admits.

"And now neither of us have him," she answers, _he was her safe place, the one person always in her corner whether she was being sweet or an absolute bitch_.

"I have hurt so many people," Quinn sighs, _he's been pulling away for a while, and it's just hard. He isn't the only relationship she's messed up recently._

"Can you go now? I just really want to be alone," she ends softly, it's getting hard to stop the tears from becoming visible.

_She's too in her head to have any kind of conversation with Rachel._ But watching her walk away hurts, _she wants to be alone, not lonely._

Of course as soon as she thinks that Puck shows up.

"Hey," he says walking up and nudging her gently, "So, I know you're upset now, but I want to be with you. And I'm going to do everything I can to be a good dad to our baby".

He looks so hopeful. He's trying, to be there, to make her feel better, but all she feels is pressure building. She's not ready to deal with his feelings on top of hers. It sounds mean but now she knows her limits.

"Thanks," she says in a clipped voice "But I honestly can't handle any more stress in my life right now. I'm going to do this on my own. I know you don't understand it, but please respect it".

_Please, please respect it and leave it at that. If you confront me I'll cave, your arms look way too inviting._

But he listens, casts her a sad look and leaves. When he rounds the corner, she lets a tear fall, her heart aching.

* * *

On the bus Brittany and Santana take their usual seats in the back row. Furthest from bus driver's eyes, it's prime real estate. Puck, Finn, Matt, Mike, and Quinn usually round out the group then the rest sit in the closer seats with the hermit sitting across from Mr. Schue in the front row.

Matt and Mike take the seat across from them. Then Puck gets on and sinks into the seat in front of them. Quinn looks at him and then Rachel sitting prim and proper before pointedly sitting in the middle. Finn doesn't get on at all.

"Bailey is upset that she couldn't go," Brittany says, "Mom told her she had to go to soccer practice".

Santana shrugs, "There will be other performances".

"You really think so? You think we can win without," Brittany lowers her voice, "Finn".

"I know so," Santana lies, "Because you're awesome, and I'm awesome, and our numbers are awesome, so how could we not win?"

"I think you're right," Brittany says linking their pinkies for a brief second, "Even if you don't believe it".

Then she turns and starts talking to Mike about her latest dance class.

**Q? How goes life in the middle row? Can't hang with the cool kids, anymore?** Santana texts bored, before telling Brittany to talk or switch seats.

Quinn looks down at her phone. _Santana's right, this seat sucks. She's with Mercedes but all she's doing is gabbing with Kurt. Can't hang with the cool kids? Sometime it feels like she can't hang with the gleeks._

**Better than sitting next to you. You know you're not cool anyway.** She texts back.

The response is immediate. **You're right, I'm not cool, I'm smoking hot.**

Quinn turns in her seat and sticks her tongue out.

Santana winks back and it almost feels like old times.

* * *

Everyone is panicking. The other groups are performing their numbers. They can't do the numbers now, they'll look like copy-cats, or like they stole the routines a la _Bring It On_.

As always, everyone turns on them first.

"You leaked the set list, you don't want to be here. You were just Sue Sylvester's little moles," Kurt accuses.

Quinn, still on her honesty kick and probably getting her back for the bus, pipes in "I know for a fact that's true. Sue asked us to spy for her".

Which is technically true, but Santana doesn't do anything unless something's in it for her, "Look, we may still be Cheerios, but neither of us ever gave Sue the set list".

All she needed was little stupid information to keep her in the running for replacement captain, like the week's assignment theme or how Mr. Schue takes his coffee. It's not her fault if Coach one day poisons him.

"Well… I-I did, but I didn't know what she was going to do with it," Brittany says nervously. She thought Coach was just going to like tease Mr. Schue about the songs he picked.

_Brittany didn't mean to do it. This looks bad._ So she pushes the attention back on herself, what comes out in her panic is the truth.

"Okay, look, believe what you want, but no one's forcing me to be here. And if you ever tell anyone this I'll deny it, but I like being in glee club. It's the best part of my day, okay?" she looks at them nervously, "I wasn't going to go and mess it up".

She's surprised it's Rachel who comes to her defense. Maybe Brittany is right, maybe this is like a family.

Rachel ends up with the solo.

"Then I guess we have our ballad," Quinn interjects, she's Quinn Fabray, she belongs here and will speak up, "and we can close with "_Somebody to Love._" It's a real crowd-pleaser," she finishes with one of her patent smiles.

"Yeah, that and a can of soup will guarantee us third place," Puck grumbles, still upset that Quinn had turned down his offer, "We still need another song we can all sing together".

Though he would never admit it, Puck also liked being in glee. He might not go as far as San and call it the best part of his day, but it was up there. _It sucked that their hard work was for nothing._

Finn walks in and the room goes silent. He shuts down Quinn, then Puck quickly, then Rachel. Santana doesn't know what to think but for now she focuses on creating a routine.

Brittany and Mike do most of the heavy lifting. They decide Rachel doesn't need much choreography on the ballad, so Matt goes over to work with her. Brittany and Mike are stuck pulling together choreography for _You Can't Always Get What You Want_.

Meanwhile Santana is trying to refresh herself on the dance they did for _Somebody to Love_ a few weeks ago. Quinn comes up beside her and joins in, while she might not be the best dancer, she picks up on things quickly and has a good memory. Together they figure out the number with some modifications for the bigger stage and the risers they will have.

Matt says they just changed an existing routine Rachel knew and quickly steps in to follow Mike and learn what he missed.

Rachel walking up the aisle lets Brittany set the opening of _You Can't Always Get What You Want_.

From there they ensure they each know all of the choreography and set out teaching the others. While Quinn is prepared from Cheerios and Rachel from life on the stage, some of the others struggle.

Finn needs a lot of help, so Mike goes off with him one on one. The same occurs with Mercedes and Brittany and Puck and Matt. This leaves Santana teaching the leftovers, who can kind of dance but aren't as quick.

Quinn steps up beside her and shoots her a grin, which Santana returns. From there they run it like Cheerios bootcamp.

All of this occurs in the hour they have between sets. Including everyone learning their voice parts for the Rolling Stones number. Meanwhile, the sponsor ads play and the local middle school choirs perform as the stage is reset. Then all too suddenly they are onstage, listening to Rachel belt _Don't Rain On My Parade_.

Their performance goes better than any of them hoped. There were a few little mistakes, but for pulling it together so quickly it was great. You could tell everyone was having fun.

Brittany is jumping up and down and pulls San into a hug. Santana feels like her smile is permanently affixed to her face, "We killed it!"

Britt beams back, "Because I'm awesome and you're awesome, and we rocked it".

"See I was right," Santana laughs as they walk off stage together.

"Yep," Brittany answers.

As they all walk through the hallway, the mood changes. The elation gives way to nerves and the rehashing of every mess up.

But they win, and for a moment everyone is united. They surround the trophy and join in a group hug. On the way home, Ms. Pillsbury takes Mr. Schue's car and Finn joins them on the bus.

During the drive back, they practice _My Life Would Suck Without You_ for Mr. Schue. The excitement has switched back to an awkwardness Santana hopes doesn't last.

Finn is sitting in the middle, directing the club. So Quinn is squeezed into the window seat beside Santana. She looks kind of pale, and San is hoping she doesn't barf. Britt is sitting next to Mike, but in the aisle so they can still talk. Then Puck and Matt are sharing. This isn't their usual arrangement but it'll work for now.

Quinn leans her forehead against the cool glass and takes a breath. She can't listen to Finn take charge, it reminds her of what she's lost. She had bigger problems anyway, like where she's sleeping tonight. At least she's sitting in the back again, next to Santana, she can be grateful for the little things. Listening to her and Brittany make side comments and snide remarks makes her feel like nothing has changed.

The choreography is fast and loose. Brittany and Mike had danced down the aisle showing off moves. It probably wasn't safe, but it was hilarious. The rest of the group called out numbers, Push It, Single Ladies, Say a Little Prayer, Hairography, Halo, Proud Mary, It's My Life/Confessions, and Mike and Brittany took turns doing the best, most memorable parts. On the two hour bus ride back they cobbled it together into a routine. They figured Mr. Schue would appreciate the nods to past songs.

Surprising him with their win is the best part. His face turns from nervous, to astonished, to undeniably happy, to proud. They have some pretty good poker faces that burst into smiles as they start the song. It's happy, silly, a tad nostalgic and everything they hoped it would be.

"Regionals, here we come!" Finn yells at the end.

They've got this.


End file.
